white noise chocolate

We all have our problems and with ours we need each other in order to solve them. We need to help each other, we need to understand each other. We need to love each other, make each other feel one another. Another. Other. Kiss me Niall, please, because there won't be another. Love me Niall, please, because I need to feel your touch before I go.


4. Alive

I arrived at the venue with the rest of lads, and everything seemed to be going fine. Of course I got a stern talk from Simon over the phone but that wasn't anything different. I told him I was off the drugs…and I was for right now anyway. It's been hours since I've taken a dose of anything and the only thing that worried me was that I could still remember the hallucination of Ireland. 

I kept telling myself it wasn't real, she wasn't real. It just doesn't exist. 

After the meet and greet was over with I was bombarded with questions from everywhere. 

"You moved to Birmingham?" That was the main question, but Harry and Louis tried to stay out of the entire thing.

But of course that's hard enough for Louis to do. "So have you seen any ghost yet?" He smiled at me, obviously making fun. 

"Seriously?" I responded. "There's no ghost, I don't know what Gemma was afraid of." 

They all shrugged, Harry the only one looking at me with his hand raised to his chin. I wasn't sure what he as thinking but then again he knew me in every way. 

"What?" I mouthed in his direction.

He shook his head, before walking away, following the rest of the boys. I was the last to follow, but I wasn't in such a hurry to get in my taxi to take me to the train station. 


After the long ride, I finally appeared outside my now 'flat'. For some reason I didn't feel like I was going to be staying here long so I didn't really feel like it would be considered my flat. Nonetheless I placed the key in the lock and opened the door. My eyes widened at the sight. 

Lit candles were placed all over the studio. No lights were on, but I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. 

"Hello?" I said through the studio. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a petite figure approaching and I looked. Chocolate filled the air and I rolled my eyes while groaning. Not again. 

I wasn't even high. 

"For fuck's sake, why are you here…again?" She asked me, a bowl of popcorn in her hand. 

"I see you can finally pick things up," I said.

"Yea, you must've done something, but I fixed everything."

I nodded, "Oh really. Well I guess you've caught me, but I'm no going anywhere. I still live here." 

She placed the bowl on a table and crossed her arms, "I'm not really the sort to have a roommate."

"Too bad," I shot back. "So have you remembered anything?" I walked across the living room and sat on the couch. She watched with bewilderment. I was changing the subject and she didn't like it.

"All I remember is going for my bike ride, which is what I do every morning."

"Hmm, okay, but anything different about this morning?" 

"No," she said simply. "Why are you asking me questions, you are in my apartment! Get out!" 

I ignored her command. "I said something about you hitting your head earlier today. Does that ring any bells?"

She looked down, her eyebrows coming together in thought. "Oh," she repeated form earlier as she brought her hand up to the corner of her forehead. "There was something, but I can't remember what."

"Well it's a start." 

I looked back at her, but she was gone. I exhaled, getting myself involved with this was stupid, but for some reason I couldn't resist.

I fell asleep on the couch, waking only when the sun came through the curtains and shone through my close eyelids. I stretched, running my fingers through my hair. Most of the candles were burned down to nothing and therefore extinguished themselves. I stood up and blew out any of the candles that were still lit, before I went to the bathroom to take a much needed shower.

I turned on the water and pulled the clothing from my body, dropping it to the floor. The water was hot when I stepped in and I closed my eyes letting the water warm me. Totally forgetting my shampoo and everything else I looked at was already in the shower. 

Mostly shampoos filled with lavender, except for one. It was mint, and it didn't look all that feminine so I used it. Once all done I turned the water off and opened the shower curtain. 

"Oh for fuck's sake," I said as I closed the curtain. "Why are you here?" 

I opened the curtain just a little to see Ireland sitting on the closed toilet, holding my towel. 

"So you sleep in my bed and then you use my shower," she said to me. "Want to wear my clothing too?" 

I reached out for the towel but she pulled it out of my grasp. "Ireland, give it to me." 

"Oh, you want to use my towels. Sorry I don't give to charity."

I was growing frustrated, but I kept reaching for the towel. "Ireland," I warned.

"Niall," she mocked me. "What are you going to do?" 

I reached for the towel one last time, and at the same time my feet started to slip. I fell forward, finally grabbing the towel but taking Ireland with me as I fell to the floor. She was overtop me, and I swallowed. 

"You damn idiot," she cursed as she got up from me and I reached for the towel placing it around my naked waist. 

"You can touch me?" I questioned. 

"Of course I can," she rolled her eyes. She brought her hand forward and placed it on my cheek. I felt her touch, slightly cold but not freezing. "See? I can touch you," her voice started to lower, growing almost invisible. I watched her silver eyes, wanting so badly to touch her, but not wanting to go over limits. 

Her hand bravely moved down, and I let her. She brushed her fingertips down my neck and onto my collarbone. Still moving she ran down the center of my chest and stopping at my bellybutton. It was hard enough for me just to breathe, her touch was like electricity, leaving me breathless. 

"Don't stop," I muttered, but she looked up at me and in a quick second she was gone. 

I gasped for air, but then I opened the bathroom door and looked out hoping to at least see her. She was nowhere, vanished, gone. 


Ireland didn't return and I started to getting dressed. I wanted to know what happened with her, why was she doing the things I couldn't even explain. As I pulled my shirt over my head I saw a pile of books all by Shakespeare. A barcode at the top read Birmingham Public Library. 

So, I left the flat and made my way down the busy streets of Birmingham, until I came to the library.

Maybe they would know something? Hopefully they would know who I was talking about. 

I came to the front desk, the middle-aged librarian looking up at me.

"Hello, sir," she said to me as I approached. "Can I help you find something?"

"No, actually I have a question about someone."


"Yes, I just moved here from London--."

"I know who you are Mr. Horan," she said. "And you are probably going to ask me about Ireland Brand?"

"How did you know?"

"I'm a librarian, I know everything and I know that you moved into Ireland's flat."


"Well," she started tapping on her computer. She turned the computer in my direction showing me a picture of Ireland and a full story about a bike accident. "Ireland has only lived in Birmingham for a couple years but she was the sweetest girl I knew. She was riding her bike, like she did every morning when a drunk driver from the previous night hit her. She hit her head hard on the concrete and went to the Birmingham Hospital. She's still there."

"Still there?" I asked her.

"Of course, she's in a coma. Has been for almost four months now. Last I heard anything, her father is coming from America to make a decision to keep her on life support." 

I swallowed. She's still alive. "Thank you," I said to her before I turned and left the library without saying anything else. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to do anything? Tell Ireland, tell her dad when he arrives that his daughter still lives in her flat? 

My mind was buzzing and I didn't like it, I needed release. I reached into my back pocket and pulled a little plastic bag, my hands shaking as I opened it. I picked the white pill out of the bag and placed it on my tongue. The drug would soon take affect, the LSD would soon take over my body. 

Thanks for reading!! Please comment, like, and favorite!!

Much love, Morgan xx

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