The private life of Charlie Swan

'It goes without saying, but when your ex- wife calls up, telling you the daughter you haven't seen since she was a baby is dead... well, my life pretty much turned upside down.'

Charlie Swan, your average chief of police. We've all seen him before.. I mean Twilight was a world wide hit... but what happens if Edward and Bella never happened? If Bella died before she could rediscover Forks? And Charlie was left to find his best friend's son was a werewolf, the commendable town doctor leader of a coven of vampires?

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3. Chapter 2

"Oh, Renee! You must be so devastated... I... I don't know what else to say - she was one of the best kids I knew...."

"A car crash... So common, but for it to happen to Bella of all children. She was so good..."

"So sweet.."

"Always kind and generous.."

"It's a good job you've got Phil. I couldn't think of anyone better to look after you, Renee darling."

Phil. The full, all american guy Renee hooked up with once she.. left. Never mind the fact I'm standing three feet away - he's always going to be the best, the great father figure, adoring husband. Bitter resentment takes its home in the pit of my stomach, cold and unfamiliar. Each snippet of conversation reminds me how much my 'fellow' companions treat me in comparison to Phil, with scorn and utter hatred. 

Just because I wasn't the one to look after Bella!

Look what she ended up like with her mother!

It's a strange feeling, the burning inside of me right now. A haggard pain, welling up. I shouldn't have come here. Funeral parties with a group of your ex wife's relatives are no ones cup of tea. Except it's meant to be a celebration of my daughter's life. 

A life I never knew.

To me, it's like she's still here, on the earth, her, soul still firmly rooted to her body. I'm shell shocked, can't get over the fact she's just... gone. Her entire life all I was was the absent 'Daddy' the elusive male she was expected to call Father. The one who never kissed her good night or tickled her till her sides ached, who never lay in bed with her, listening to music, or helped her with her maths homework.

It's Phil who did all that, took my roll, the one I'd practised before Bella was even born. I was the one who dealt with Renee's quirks during pregnancy, who helped pick out the curtains for her bedroom. Not Phil. Yet it will always be Phil who comforted her when she cried, rocked her back to sleep as a baby and then sang sweet lullabies to her as a child. 

It's not really Phil I should be angry with. In my heart of hearts, I know it should be Renee I despise, for taking the daughter I never knew - should have knew- away from me. Yet.. somehow I can't, for inside of me, I know there's still a place where I love Renee, truly adore her - and I can't force myself to truly blame her for depriving me of Bella, responsible for not looking after her, and in essence, killing her. I just can't do that to my soul.

You never know what you're missing until it's gone.

 

 

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