My Song Lyrics ♥

I haven't always been the best at poetry, and I think music is poetry. These are some of my original songs that I want help improving on, so please leave a comment telling me how to do so. Thank you!

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1. Lonely Heart

This song was inspired by not only my feelings, but my brother's old friend who just recently took his own last breath. Love you always Nick <3

Lonely Heart
by xDreamBeyondx


He's all alone in this dark room,
nothing left but a simple frown.
The boy you once knew is gone for good,
replaced by emptiness.


So much pain,
he can't think no more.
He's lost himself to the
Other Side


He's lived his life in pain,
suffered all the constant hate.
Life has been lost,
love betrayed.
Nothing left to do.

He's all alone,
with a lonely heart
nobody there to save him


He's all alone, 
with a lonely heart
nobody there to hear him


He's all alone,
with a lonely heart
and nobody knows.


So much pain,
he can't think no more.
Nobody left to heal him


Making all the same mistakes,
taking it out on the old him
He knows his fears,
he knows his lines.
He knows there's no one
to see him


He's all alone,
with a lonely heart
nobody there to save him


He's all alone, 
with a lonely heart
nobody there to hear him


He's all alone,
with a lonely heart
and nobody knows.
Nobody knows who he is
Anymore.

 

I think it's hard to read the song and not know the beat, because the music is what shapes it. But the words are the heart, and I don't know if there is a way I could make this song... good. Or more understandable, and maybe make it sound better. I know what message I want to say, I just can't say it. Any good poetry/song writers out there to give me advice?

By the way, this is an original song, and I really hope no one copies or takes credit for it. Please don't steal it. Even though it probably isn't good enough to steal anyway.

 

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