Dirty Little Secret - A Niall Horan Story

Everybody has a dirty little secret. Want to know what mine is? My dirty little secret is that.. Well, I am someone elses dirty little secret. Niall Horan's dirty secret that is. A secret he isn't so keen on letting the whole wide world know about. But as everyone may know, is that the thing about secrets is that they often don't stay hidden for long...

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27. 'Who has to know?' - The End

My heart literally stopped in my chest. I was holding my breath for so long that I’m still not sure how I actuallty survived. The girls in front of my were squealing at the top of the lungs so high that a flight attendant came and hushed them. She saw the iPad in their hands and started babbling about that in a few minutes they would have to turn that thing off, they silented down and nodded.

The song started and once more my heart stopped in my chest, I knew which song this was because I commented once how sweet it was of them to have a song like that on their album. I thought it was different from every single one of their songs.

‘People say we shouldn't be together. We're too young to know about forever, but I say they don't know what they talk talk talkin' about’

Liam’s voice almost echoed in the arena, every single one in the crowd was dead quiet and listening to the song. Harry stepped forward when Liam stepped to the side and with a small smile he winked right into the camera, as if he knew that I was watching.

‘Cause this love is only getting stronger so I don't wanna wait any longer. I just wanna tell the world that you're mine girl. Ohh’

‘They don't know about the things we do, they don't know about the I love you's. But I bet you if they only knew they will just be jealous of us.
They don't know about the up all night's, they don't know I've waited all my life, Just to find a love that feels this right. 
Baby they don't know about, they don't know about us.’

Zayn started the chorus and the rest of the guys joined in. I was surprised that they didn’t zoom in on Niall one single time, it was he that had the big announcement thing, which I was still trying to process, why didn’t they zoom in on him?

‘Just one touch and I was a believer, every kiss it gets a little sweeter.’

I got what I was wishing for, they zoomed him in, he had a huge smile plastered all over his face, he looked so happy. He was doing the thing he loved the most and he dedicated the whole thing to me, he decided that he was going to let go of everything he wanted for us in a relationship and do what I wanted.

‘It's getting better, keeps getting better all the time girl.’

Harry slinged an arm around Niall and gave him a halfhug, I could tell that he was proud of his friend. The chorus started again but I was lost in my own thought. When he walked out of the door I thought that this was it, I was never going to forgive him, I was going to let him go.

But now? Now I just seemed like the wicked witch of the West, Voldemort and all villains combined. I didn’t even give him a chance to prove himself. And now I was sitting here on a plane, about to leave for another country, not coming back.

‘They don't know how special you are, they don't know what you've done to my heart. They can say anything they want cause they don't know us.’

Louis’s flipped his hair and signaled to Niall that once more it was his part.

‘They don't know what we do best, that's between me and you our little secret.

He winked at the camera and it felt like my heart was on fire. What had I done? I had walked out on the best thing in my life because my own stupidity.

‘Turn that thing off now girls, or I will do it for you.

We all looked up and the angry flight attendant where staring madly at the iPad and the girls switched it off quickly and started discussing about what they had seen of the performance. Still in chock I put on my headphones and turned the music on once more as I leaned towards the window.

‘Let me now that I’ve done wrong, when I’ve known this all along, I’ll go around a time or two, just to waste my time with you.’

The song surprised me, I listen intently to the lyrics, right now it felt like it described my life. I did do everything wrong, and I did waste my time, or did I? After that performance I didn’t know what was wrong or right. But still, it didn’t make up for all the other things that had been going on in our relationship.

‘Tell me all that you’ve thrown away, find out games you don’t wanna play, you are the only one that needs to know.’

I did throw away a lot of things, at least I threw away my dignity, but I didn’t it willingly just for him. He loved me, he said that he loved me after all this time. Did I love him? I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel. It felt like the whole thing was a game, a game that I was destined to lose.

‘I’ll keep you my dirty little secret, dirty little secret. Don’t tell anyone or you’ll be just another regret, just another regret.’

That was it. From the beginning I was the dirty little secret, for the whole relationship I was the dirty little secret. And now when I was walking away he decided that he could make some grand gesture to fix everything, but life doesn’t work that way. That he didn’t treat me right until the end was going to be his biggest regret.

‘Hope that you can keep it, my dirty little secret.’

I had made up my mind, I was not coming back to him that easily. I turned off the music while still staring out the window. I continued the song and whispered.

‘Who has to know?’

 

The End

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