I'm Done

I'm done with her and her lies. Her constant need for attention! She'd do anything just to get a few people to look at her. I can't take it anymore. She used to be my BFFL now I don't know what she is anymore. Maybe a monster. I can't trust her, and when she tells me something about someone, like every girl does, I don't know if i can believe what she's saying at all.


8. The Dance, and the Major Loss.

I still exist. yes. haha It's just life hasn't really been being this interesting lately and I haven't had much time to write anyway. So let's go from yesterday. May 17, 2013. Washingtonville Middle School had a grade 6 and 7 dance yesterday. Also my best friend had her birthday party, I went to both. I went to her party and had fun then left and went to the dance and had a great time, except for the end of the dance. All the whole time me and my friends were "ooohing" and "awing" at the hottest guys at school. Then we were twerking and shaking our butts. We got a lot of their attention with that. It made us happy. So for the last couple of weeks my best friend, and also kind of crush, Bryan, has been ignoring me and being extremely mean and hurtful. At the dance I saw a bunch of my friends. Jared, Josh, Justin, Joi, Miranda, Alex, Barbi, Amorianna, Chrissy, and they all gave me hugs and everything and we talked. When I went to say hi to Bry, he ignored me. Then I tried again later. He still ignored me. "one more time" I said to myself, pissed, halfway through the dance. I went up to him and screamed really loud because of the already loud music. "BRYYANNN! HEYYY!" and smiled. He ignored me again. I started to lightly and jokingly hit his shoulder. He turned around "what now Amanda?" he said. "I just wanted to say hi and have u know I'm here" I smiled. "well don't". I almost died inside. I walked away back to Amorianna and Christina. I hugged Amorianna extremely tight. "What's wrong!?" Chrissy raged. "Nothing. I'm fine" I said to her. "ok... ok then" she patted my back and walked away. "Tell me. What happened?" Thats when I lost it. I started balling and crying right in the middle of the dance floor. Amorianna walked me over to the side. "it's ok. it's ok. tell me" Amorianna also sorta likes Bryan. "Bryan.." I said. I finally felt that I fixed my black eye makeup to the point where i felt it looked good enough that I could look up. I saw Bryan smiling and dancing to "Sexy and I know it". "He's so perfect."I said in my mind.   I started to cry a little again because I had just stared directly at what was someone who was soon to be lost. "What did he do?' she said. " I explained the entire thing over again. "oh.." she looked down at her toes being we were still sitting in the corner of the dance floor. We sat there silently for about 10 minutes just wiping our single little tears falling. dripping slowly down our faces, because he had been doing the same to her, leaving black lines of eyeliner and mascara. We went back on the floor eventually and started to work it again. We got looks from all kinds of hott 7th grade boys. At the end when we were all leaving I said to Gassendi, "Bryan's such a worthless piece of shit!" I said out of anger and frustration. "so you don't like him anymore?" I hesitated. "n.. not re... I don.." I paused. we're all quiet. "no." I said as if it was true. "ok" Gassendi smiled and walked over to Bryan. "whats he doing!?" I said as i almost ripped MM's arm off out of nervousness. We tried to get out the one way door really fast but Gassendi and Bryan were in the way. "Gassendi move!" I interupted him."who?....HER?!" Bryan said. It was to late. "keep it cool. stay cool, normal." I said to myself. A huge, wrongly mistakend smile formed on my lips and I said "hi!" and walked away. I dare not turn around with Amorianna. But did I? yes. He was hurt and dieing like the way I felt. In a way it felt good to know that he know knows what it's like to feel that way, but in another way I felt bad because I caused him that pain. I just cried in my friends' arms because I had no idea what I was feeling and going through. Was it sadness, or happiness? Am I really crying or is this fake? Is this a dream? Or did I just lose my best friend? Everything was running through my mind at once. I didn't understand any of it. Once the long group hug ended we all exchanged smiles and said goodbye. That was over.. and I lost my best friend.....

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