Does everything goes back to normal after a suicide?

Can life go back to normal when you best friend kill themselves? Do people expect that you get over it, just like that.
You just don't get over yet, not something like that.
You can't..

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3. The Letter


Dear Charlie.

If I know you right, you are on the bridge by your house reading this because you couldn’t stay at home reading this. I don’t blame you if you are mad at me for during what I did. I would be mad too if my best friend killed themselves. I don’t know if you can call this a suicide note, but I guess this is in a way. This is not a letter for you to feel sorry for me, please don’t. I know you will be, but there is nothing to feel sorry for me for. It doesn’t matter anymore, things happen, life happen. You can’t change what happen Charlie so please don’t go out and try to change what happen. I don’t blame anyone for what happen, I can only really blame myself, I guess. I want you to remember how much fun we had together with Alisa and just the two of us. The movies nights at my place or the time in class where we got in trouble because we were laughing so hard that we were crying, remember those times, not that I’m not here anymore or when I started changing. I know I can’t tell you what to do, I don’t have any right to do so, but you’re still my best friend and you mean the world to me, you the one person who knows about my past and still likes me.

Please go out and live your life like nothing happen, find love, become something big. Prove to yourself and everyone who ever said that you can’t do what you want, that you can do anything.
Please don’t stop living your life because of me Charlie.
And remember just because I’m not here in physical from, doesn’t mean I’m gone forever. I will always be in your heart, I will always be watching over you. No matter how much you like it.

I’ll miss you Charlie, but I will always be there.

Love Hayley.

 

I smiled at little and again I felt my cheeks getting wet, but this time I let them fall instead of brushing them away from my cheek.

I looked at the river running in front of me; I smiled and said “I promise Hayley, I live my life like you’re still alive.”

   “Your mom said you had run out saying you need air.” I turned and saw Amy standing by the top of the hill side next to my parked car, switching her weight from one foot to the other.

  “Yeah, but how you know I be here?” I asked as I walked up to her. I don’t remember telling her about coming here to think.
 She smiled at little, “I took a guess and I remember that you once told me that lakes, rivers and oceans helps you relax.” She said. I smiled at little, “I’m glad you still remember the good times.” I put the letter back in pocket. “Of course I do. You’re still my boyfriend.” She said, smiled and tried to reach out to touch my hand, this time it was me who pulled back.
 “I thought you were mad at me, and freaked out by the news.” I said and sat on a rock that was next to the car.
 I could tell she took a deep breath. “I wasn’t mad at you or freaked out, I was disappointed that you didn’t tell me, I just thought you trusted me enough to tell me.” She said and leaned against the car. “I do trust you, that is not why I didn’t tell you.” I said simply.
  “Then why did you tell me Charlie?” She asked as she lifted her hands up and down.
 I looked up at her, “Because – Because I was afraid you would treat me like the rest of the school did for the first couple of weeks after Hayley died. Everyone thought that I was fragile like I’m fine china you’re afraid to crack if you touch it. Nobody would talk to me but Alisa, yet I could still hear everyone around the school whispering about me and saying things about why Hayley did it, some people even thought that I was  the reason. Amy it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you, if I didn’t trust you I wouldn’t have told you about my disorder.” I explained.
 I looked up at Amy and saw her smile at me.

Just with that smile, it told me that she understood and that she didn't care.

 

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