Catch me, please?

I wanted it all to end...the hurt, lies... everything.

But nothing went away.... So I had to stop it myself...

Harmony Starren was in love.

She fell too easily for her own good. He said he loved her. But lied.

She couldn't take living day by day still loving him after he hurt her. So she had to go against gods will and stop the hurt herself.

But what will she think when she finds out that's not the end of her life?

That there's still another chapter to her story.

One that involves five boys. Five to which one she starts to fall for.

But is she ready to love again? How can she love again when the person who broke her is still in her mind constantly?

Can they repair the broken soul that has stumbled upon them?

"Catch me, please?"

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5. The attacks begin.

••°°•• OKAYYY DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE I HAVE NO LIFE! and I'm just watching Breaking Dawn pt.2 Love you xx :) °°••°° "Shh guys, your gonna wake her up." "Louis! Move your bum. It's in my face. " "Lads, we should really leave her alone." Yes, random voice please leave me alone....Wait? Is this some weird dream?...Why are the voices of One Direction in it? "But Nialllllll," a voice which I can distinguish as Louis," We made her breakfast! It's going to get cold." "Louis." I hear a sound of disproval from the Irish voice but the sentence got cut short by a loud voice. "HARMONYYYYYYY WAKEY WAKEY! WE MADE EGGS AND BACONNN!!! " "Louis! STOP!" So it wasn't a dream. Might as well get up then. "Look now she's awake! Way to go Louis!" Niall said sounding pissed. I decided to intervine before things got heated. "Really Louis? You couldn't have just waken me up properly? Do you really have to scream at.." I checked my phone to see the time. Oh my god. "At 7:30! Are you serious?!" I started to get pissed! Sleeping was my escape. I could always be something or someone that I wanted to. I valued my sleep. "Sorry love, But Liam here made breakfast and Lou didn't want it to get cold so here we are!" Zayn apologized. I gave them all one glance over when I lifted myself from my pillow. This sucks. I should still be asleep until eleven. I use my hands to put some hair out of my face when I realize that I probably look a mess. "Boys! Get out! I look terrible! Ill be down in a minute I swear!" Covering my mouth to save them from my morning breath. "Alright alright don't have to yell! We'll leave you to what ever girls do. Just hurry up, your foods getting cold." Harry told me. The boys stood up leaving the room. "Thanks. Ill be down soon. Tell Liam." I said stepping out of my bed just as the door was about to close but it stopped short and opened again. "Hey Harm? " That nickname. I'm growing fond of it already, especially when it's used by that Irish accent. "Uh, yeah Niall?" I look signalling he needs to hurry this conversation. After hesitation I decide to break the silence," Hey Niall, not trying to be rude...but can I get ready ..I really look awful and I don't want the boys, you especially to see me like this." I explained he gives me a smirk and says something that leaves me speechless before he walks away, " Maybe next time where different clothes to sleep in." I looked down at what I was wearing. Crap! Niall continued," You might not mind the boys seeing you in nothing but your knickers and bra but I want to be the only that has that privilege." He winks and that is how Niall Horan made my face the equivalent shade to a tomato. +                                                          + After my shower and getting dressed in just basic black skinny jeans, white high top converse and my 5SOS hoodie (Yes, I am a huge fan.) With my hair just braided off to the side still wet. Today was a lazy day. I walk downstairs after grabbing my phone off the charger. Checking my Twitter and text messages ...Oh god I'm so famous! No mentions or messages -_- As always I hear the boys before I see them. They weren't arguing for once. "Liam...Please! Tell me your secret!" "Niall. Its not a secret. Its just eggs." Liam said placing a plate down in front of an empty chair, I assume is mine. "But how are they sooo good! I always burn them!" Niall said throwing his hands dramatically in the air. "C'mon Li—" "Heyyyy Harmony! Your FINALLY done!" Harry said cutting Niall short. They all turn their heads to see me walk to my seat. "Hey! I wasn't that long! A girl has to look presentable!" Trying to sound offended but failed miserably. "Well, I would say you looked quite....'presentable' in that matching set of undergarment." Zayn snickered, earning laughs from the other boys. What dicks! I'm not going to sit here and be picked on. So I pick up a piece of bacon slowly chewing it thinking up a good comeback, " You would say that! That was probably the closest thing seeing actual boobs for you wasnt it? No need to be ashamed." I knew that was a lie. Hell! He probably has girls glady take off every piece of clothing they have! But it got all the boys to laugh at Zayn and instead of biting back he stick his younger out like a five year old. I chuckled and continued to eating my breakfast. It was really good! "Hey, Liam this is really good thanks!" I told Liam. He smiled at me saying a quick your welcome before devouring his food. All the boys were eating like maniacs. I start to eat again only eating another spoonful of eggs and a slice of bacon. You would think I was hungry after only eating three pieces of chicken last night. But that's how it is. I eat enough just to keep me going but I still end up being over 135lbs. "Harm, so you a fan of 5SOS?" Niall ask taking me out of my thoughts. He was now finished with his first serving and now filling his plate with more food. Damn that nickname! "Uhh, yeah I'm actually a huge fan.. Gotta Twitter dedicated to them and everything. " I said blushing. Why did I say that! "You do know that we went on tour with them right?" Niall asked stuffing more food in his mouth. "Of course! I am a fan. I know where they are most the time." I slowly said, shit I probably seem like a stalker. Harry and Liam start laughing at me and I start blushing more. Niall nods and starts to continue to talk but Louis starts instead, "  Oh really then Harmony? Do you know where they are now?" "London." I answer simply. Now I do seem like a stalker. The two boys continue laughing. "So your not going to try to find them...? You said you were a fangirl? " He ask confused. That's when I start laughing, " Louis! You obviously don't understand proper fangirls." "Please explain then." He tells me. "Fangirls aren't the one that mobs you boys and most of us don't go to your concerts! Partially cause were broke 24/7 because of you boys but anyway! " I continue, I'm very passionate about this. "Were the fans that sit on our laptops voting or in my case waiting for a new Keeks or unexpected Twitcams. Were the fans that sit at home all day and have no social life." I finish, hope that's a good description. They all stare at me like I have three heads. Did I really seem that creepy? Zayns the first one to speak, " So..." he doesn't finish his sentence cause he's lost for words. What's so weird about it? Whys are they acting like this? "Wow. I see them in a new light now. I shouldn't snap at them as much then ha." Liam says. Oh..at least he doesn't think I'm weird. We all sit their now not knowing what to talk about now. "But anywayyyyy.." Louis says. What now? "Do you want to meet them? Or no? " Is he insane? "Of course!" I nearly yell. "Who in their right mind doesn't want to? I just don't want to meet them to just be pushed aside by other girls. I want a conversation." Louis gives Harry a look. Harry just sits their clueless. "Damn Harry! You can't understand body language. I was mentally telling you to do something. " "Well sorry Lou! We can't all be smart!" Harry told Louis. Louis gives Harry a smile and shows him his phone. They both start grinning menacingly. "What are you boys up to?" I ask. Their smiles are scaring me. "Oh nothing! Thanks for the breakfast Li. But Louis and I have to go do something be back in 5." And with that they skip out the room. "Uh...What are they up too?" I ask. They're really scaring me now. "I don't know but it can't be good." Zayn tells me getting back to his food. I look to Liam. He's on his phone texting away. Niall just shrugs at me and gives me a smile. I sigh and excuse myself, " Thanks Liam for breakfast again." I start to wash my plate. "Oi! Stop saying thanks Harmony! It makes me feel weird." Liam says laughing, " and leave the plate I got it." I turn and smile at Liam and walk upstairs towards my room where I will most likely spend most of my time. "Oh wait up Harm!" Niall called out to me. I turned to face him, " Yeah Niall?" "So do you have any plans today?" He asks with a nervous chuckle. Was he trying to ask me out? No no no he can't! "Uhh...No I don't thin—" "HARMONY! DON'T MAKE ANY PLANS TODAY AND GO GET PRETTIED UP! I HAVE SOME PEOPLE I WANT YOU TO MEET!" I hear Harry yell from an unknown place. Thank you Harry! "WHY?" I yell back but not rejecting his order. "JUST DO IT!" Louis finishes. "Well...I guess I have plans now Niall." I tell him with a smile. His face drops a bit but he still has a cheerful smile. "Oh okay. Well have fun with whatever those goofs have planned." "Oh boy! Can't wait." I say with a sarcastic tone and turn around to go get ready. So I need to get 'pretty'. I walk towards my closet and look take a look at my clothes. Hmm... no matter what I wear I look hideous! So with that thought I grab my high waisted ripped skinny jeans, my white blouse and denim jacket. I put my clothes on and take my hair out of it's braid. Its mostly dry now so my hair comes out in beach waves. I examine myself in the mirror. I see every flaw on me.  My split ends. I don't have a flat stomach. No thigh gap. My teeth aren't exactly straight. A fat face. Everything about me was wrong. Is it normal to hate yourself this much? You can not possibly imagine how much I hate myself. Scars all over my body. No guy would ever want to touch me seeing the slashes on my thighs. After seeing the scar on my stomach after they had to suck the pills out of my system. No guy wants me, and no one will. *FLASHBACK* Here I sat in my bathroom. The razor against my thighs. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Six cuts representing the six hits he's given me today. This was my only way of controlling something. I controlled this pain. Not anyone else. That's why its become addicting. Its pain, but its what I choose. I watch the blood trickle down my leg. Watching in awe at the liquid. It was free. Free to go in any direction it wanted to. Not unless I stopped it but I couldn't do that. So I went all the way to the floor and I just sat watching it for who knows how long. "HARMONY!" Pounding starts at the bathroom door. "HURRY UP DINNERS DONE." And just like that he turns back to Mr.Nice. He punches me one minute next making me my favorite dinner the next trying to have me forgive him. Which I always do. I sigh and wash my leg. I love him. This is how a relationship is supposed to go. We fight and makeup. I was wrong.. *FLASHBACK OVER* I snap out if the memory, they were becoming more frequent. I hear unknown voices downstairs. "Hey lad!" "Hey Ash!" Harry's voice I can tell that was. Ash? What friend of theirs was named Ash? "I have someone you boys might wanna meet. She's a huge fan." Louis gushed. He was talking about me he had to be. "Oh Harmonyyy!" He carried out the 'Y' in my name, "Some people are here for you!" "Yeah coming! " I yelled back, I examined myself. I knew I wouldn't look better so with a sigh I half jogged downstairs but stopped at the bottom with my mouth hanging open. Holy shit. No. It can't be...5 Seconds of Summer right in front of me. I start hypervenilating, badly. "Uh, hey! I'm Luke. That's Calum,  Michael, and Ashton." Luke FUCKING Hemmings said to me. I stood their shaking on the verge of tears, I was going to start bawling. I want to act all cool and chill in front of them but I can't! So I did what my body was telling me..... Fangirl mode. "Oh my god....you- your-.." I didn't finish my sentence I just ran to Luke and jumped on him. We fell back and I started squealing. I jumped up and tackled the other three. They seemed cool about it. They weren't freaked out by me they were actually hugging me back, except for Luke ...he was still on the ground. "OMG! I CAN'T RIGHT NOW! CAN I GET A PICTURE!? WAIT! LET ME GRAB MY ALBUM SO YOU CAN SIGN IT!" I started running upstairs to grab the album. "Woah! Harmony slow down. They'll be here for a bit. Calm down." Harry told me. How the hell was I supposed to be calm. "Yeah love, your shaking, take a seat." Calum told me pulling me towards the chair. Holy fuck, CALUM HOOD CALLED ME LOVE! AND IS TOUCHING ME! "Um, okay. Yeah I need to calm down. " I said with a chuckle. "Luke bro! You alright?" Ashton asked. Oops... "Yeah I'm fine. My elbows a bit sore but its whatever, she's pretty so it makes up for it." Luke said with a wink towards me. I blushed and turned away, which didn't help with my shaking. I need my pill to calm down. "Whose pretty?" Nialls voice came in the room and saw the scene in front of him. A shaking girl with four Aussie guys and Larry. "Ms. Harmony here. Harry called us over and wanted us to meet her. Said she was a sight and he wasn't lying. " Luke told Niall coming to sit on the couch across from me. "Yeah Harry! You didn't lie, she's gorgeous." Michael said coming to sit next to me. Calum sat next to Luke and Ashton took a seat on the ground. If they didn't stop I was going to pass out. This is all too much. "Oh....Uh..okay.." Niall said awkwardly. Everyone was quiet watching me calm down but it kept getting worse. Once I got this far in one of my anxiety attacks they couldn't go down unless I took my pills but they were in my room. "Harm, you okay? Your breathing really weird." Niall asked concern being evident. "I- I need—" I couldn't finish my sentence because it was getting harder to breath. They all had scared looks on their faces after seeing my condition. "Oh my god! NIALL GET LIAM!" Luke yelled running by my side. Harry and Louis sat their shocked and not knowing what to do "He's not here! He went to the gym with Zayn!" He yelled back also running to my side. "She's having a panic attack or something! Give her space! " Luke told everyone making them all back up against the wall leaving him and Niall by me. "Harmony, can you hear me?" Luke asked. "Yes." I whispered back closing my eyes trying to steady my breathing but it wasnt working. "Ok, your having a panic attack so just calm down and breath." He continued, I looked in Luke's eyes and saw him calmed which made me feel a bit better but Nialls face crashed that. He was their biting his lip looking scared. "No..Not panic.. anxiety. " I choked out to Luke averting my gaze from Niall to Luke. "Anxiety? Uh, ok have you had one before? Do you know what to do when you have one?" I gave a slight nod," Yeah..Pills in room. " " Ok I'm taking you up their." Luke went to grab me but was stopped by Niall. "No. Ill take her." "Niall let go ill bring her up." Luke began to argue. "No! GOD DAMMIT! IM TAKING HER! " Niall yelled. "Please...stop— Someone just take me." I breathed out. So without anymore arguing Luke scooped me up in a bridal way and jogged to my room. Niall leading the way. "Where are they Harm? " Niall asked me. "On top...of vanity." Niall grabs them while Luke runs for water. He hands me the pills and I consume them with the water. I still am out of breath but start feeling better after ten minutes. My breath regulates. I look up to see Luke smiling at me and Niall with still a worried look. "Sorry, when they come on they can't be stopped unless the pill kicks in." I apologized. "Oh no! No need to be sorry babe! We should of never surprised you like that." Luke said advancing towards me to lay his hand on my shoulder. I gave him a small smile. "I'm going to tell the boys everything is alright. Be right back." I nodded at him and he left. Niall just looked pissed now. "Niall, are YOU okay?" I asked. He just looked at me I stood up and walked towards him, "Nia—" I was cut off with him pulling me in a hug. I stood their shocked but pulled my arms around him. We sat their for a few minutes until I felt him shaking and small sobs leaving him. "Niall, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked trying to pull away from the hug but just got pulled in tighter. "I- I thought you were having a heart attack or something ...I was so scared." He whispered towards me another broken sob breaking out. He seriously thought that? He cared? "Niall, I wasn—" "Yeah you weren't! But I didn't know! Luke was their to help you i sat their like a dumbass! What if it was just us their and you were having an attack?! I couldn't live with myself knowing I couldn't help!" He ranted. I pulled away to look at him. "Niall listen," I softly said, " You wouldn't have knowed okay? I'm fine. Everything's alright. So please calm down." He stared at me scanning my face until he pulled a big smile and hugged me again. "Thank god your alright then!" I laughed and pulled away again. "Let's head back downstairs, the rest are probably worried." I said walking away. "Yeah they probably are." He said walking beside me but instead of walking seperately he interlocked our hands and gave me a smile. I blushed and looked down and we went downstairs, hearing the familiar voices and then I heard a shrill annoying voice, " So where's Niall again? " We were at the bottom of the stairs to see the group and an unknown female. Niall immediately dropped my hand and his smile when he saw the girl. "Claire?" He said "Oh Niall! Their you are! Hey baby, how are you?" She came up and smashed her lips on his. I was shocked. He had a girlfriend? I should have expected it. "Whose this babe?" The blonde named Claire said giving me a disgusted look. "Oh!" Niall said awkwardly, " Claire this is Harmony, Harmony this is my girlfriend Claire."
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