My Completely And Utterly Abnormal Family

"Family. One word that can mean so bludy much at the same time. Well in my case it means a bunch of crazy apes. But still...I love them." My first story ever, hope you enjoy!

Laura xxx


1. Can't choose family

So yeah. Where should I begin? I could start from the beginning, but it's way past my bedtime so I'll just start from this morning.


My name is Jamie. Jamie Quin Phillips. And it would be a lie if I told you my life was anything close to normal. I blame this on my parents really. They're sweet people, honestly. But they just can't stop having kids.


It's become like a hobby to them. Once they have a kid they'll change it's diapers for a couple of years, it will grow up, they'll neglect it, get bored, have a new one and the cycle will start all over again. So as you can probably tell I have quite a few siblings. 5 to be exact and 1 more on the way.


It's not what you think though, my parents split up a couple of years ago so my dad remarried to a remarkably young blonde who already had 2 sons, and if you think that wasn't enough for them they adopted one more. Then dads wife Maria got pregnant and they're almost on baby number 4. They're not doing to badly though. On the conterary. My dad owns a lawyer firm so him and his new family are pretty well of.


 All of us kids live at mums place. Dad comes and visits us almost every day and we sometimes go over to his place on weekends and stuff, so life is pretty good. Mum and dad still talk to each other, they're actually quite good friends. Anyways as I was saying we live at mums house. It's the same house we used to live in before our parents split up. The wife keeps the house and the husband gets the crappy apartment downtown. It's the american way.


Mum has had a number of boyfriends since then. Her latest is Martin. He's lasted the longest so far. It's not that I don't like Martin, cause I do. He's a really nice guy but he can just be so akward at times. He's a step up from snotty Joe though (mums last "life long love"). Martin is kind to us even though we aren't his real kids. He's a doctor so he's at work a lot of the time, and mum is a stay at home mother. She does the laundry, runs airens, cleans bathrooms, gardens, she's a star cook and also has a bunch of projects she's always at. I wouldn't call us rich, but we are certainly not poor.


My siblings are a big part of my life as they are constantly busing around me 24/7. I would tell you my half siblings names too but lets just see if you can learn my biological siblings first. So they'res Natalie. 16, snob, total drama queen if you know what I mean. She's always getting into arguments with mum she even started complaining about her almost freshly painted wall colour a day after she had got her brand new car. Her and I use to get along well but now she spends so much time on the internet and fiddling with make-up she never really has time for me.


 Then there is my lil sis Amanda age nine. Natural beauty, makes me look like a sloth in family photos standing beside her. She's really smart for her age so she skipped a grade. It's kind of a lot to live up to so I'll just stay the black sheep of the family. It suits me best really. Mum says I have lots of good qualities. Like what mum?! That usually shuts her up. I'll figure something out. Maybe I should join the army. Okay, bad plan. I wouldn't last a minute out there. I can't even aim a water pistol at someone properly. I have a little brother to. Luke. He plays a lot with Amanda but he's only 3. Mum says that he will be an excellent footballer when he grows up (Or that's what she hopes more like).


We're one big happy family really. Weird, but happy.

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