Because We Hurt Inside

demi and niall always had a crush on each other. and they finally start dating. but demi can't take anymore of the bullying about her weight both at school and over iMessages on her phone. she is sooo done with people treating her this way. there was also a lot of hate on nemi. demi is sooo depressed that she cuts herself and becomes anorexic. niall tries standing up for her and tries to make her feel better but nothing works.

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7. Tattooed (P.O.V. Demi)

I looked down at my freshly tattooed wrists. My fading scars behind the word "stay" on my left wrist and "Strong" on my right. It was Niall's gift to me after i had gotten out of rehab. I stared at those two words the whole car ride home, pondering what they meant, what they should mean, and what they meant to ME.   It felt a little like the butterfly project. Where, if you cut, you draw a butterfly on your wrist, every time you feel like cutting, instead of actually cutting and its like a promise to yourself that you wouldn't cut again until they all fade. Which because you'd draw the butterflies instead of cutting, would help you to stop or reduce the cutting. I had only done that once. Only one butterfly was ever on my wrist. It didn't last. I was too stubborn to draw a butterfly, thinking it'd be so much easier just to cut, its like drawing, But with a razor-blade i had reasoned. I now realise how wrong i was. How that by cutting. It hurts the people around me as well. Especially Niall. I didn't know if it was enough for me to stop, but i was determined to. For Niall.    Once we had gotten back, we walked in silence into the house and sat down on the sofa together. "Demi," Niall said taking in a breath. "I know its been hard. I know how you feel about yourself. But you need to stop it. You are beautiful. You are not fat! You're perfect. You are so so beautiful. You need to view yourself that way." I look down at my wrists, palms up, and Niall takes them into his hands. "This is because you need to stay strong. Don't let them bring you down. Don't let them hurt you. You're stronger than you think. Stand tall and be beautiful. Because its who you are, beautiful." He takes my chin gently and moves my face up to his so our eyes meet. There were tears in my eyes so he wipes them away.  "You need to stop hurting yourself. It hurts me too, you know? It hurts me so much to see you do this. I love you so much. I just couldnt lose you, Demi. Please? So. What we're going to do now is take all of your razors and glass and throw it out. Okay? You're gonna show me where they all are. Im done with you hurting yourself." He stands slowly off the couch and pulls me with him. "Lets go. Okay?" I just nod my head. And i did give him my glass and razorblades. All but one. The one i taped to the bottom of my bed side table. Just in case. What if i need it? He takes the rest and throws them away. "Now. You feel better, babe?" He asks smiling. He takes me into his arms and gives me a famous Horan hug, then kisses me softly. I nod my head. "Yes, Niall. Thank you. So much. I love you." My tears have finally subsided. He takes me into his arms and starts to softly sing. "You'll never love yourself half as much as i love you, you'll never treat yourself right, Darlin, but i want you to. If i let you know I'm here for you. Maybe you'll love yourself like i love you......" He pulls back and looks straight into my crying again eyes. "Im here for you, babe."  

 

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