Russian Love

Raisa Kang is a Russian Born half Korean with a dead father. One day when she was fourteen he was murdered right in front of her. Then suddenly she has to be unrooted from her homeland and everything she knows to go live with her mother in Los Angles, California in America. Now two years later she is in a deep depressing longing to to back to Russia. But that depression is put on hold when one girl befriends her and shows her what it means to live.

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3. Dancing Eyes

   

I feel myself fade in and out of focus in the car. Each time I zone out I go back into my old memories of Russia. The memories of me and my father particularly, every memory I had of that man was the best in my life.

I knew no better time, but I cannot think back on my memories. I cannot live the past I cannot do that again. The first year of me being here in America all I did was think of Russia, it got so bad it affected my physical health.

I had to be taken to a therapist, I still go to one, but I try and act like everything is ok when in reality it isn’t. All I want to do is go back to Russia, I miss my old life. I miss my dad that is what I want back if I could get one thing back.

Then my mom’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts. The words that she spoke were the words that changed the way I saw the world. “Raisa, you know that it is not bad to remember. Sometimes it is good, the past can be a refuge from the present, but do not mistake the two. So don’t be afraid to remember, embrace the past, but don’t live in it.”

I slowly turn my head towards my mom. I didn’t say anything, but I don’t think I needed to. I bet she knew the effect her words had on me.

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We walked down the stoned pathway of the streets. At the end of the street we came face to face with an old oak tree that was surrounded with wild flowers. This tree had its home in a local park of Little Russia, though to others it is just a pretty sight to me it my last connection to my dad.

He and my mom met under this tree. This was the last place that I ever saw my mom before she left. The memory is still fresh in my mind. We were on a family vacation, our last ever family outing ever. My parents decided to take me to the place where they first met.

My dad walked with my six year old self on his shoulders and my mom smiling at his side. Then when we finally approached the tree, my dad put me down and pressed a hand to the tree and started to tear up. When I asked what was wrong he didn’t answer.

Then I turned to my mom and found that she also was crying. “Mommy, why is daddy crying?”

“Because sweetie,” She said as she knelt down. “Because, this is where we first met and this is where we will last see each other.”

“What do you mean?” I asked my mom as I pressed a small hand to her face as tears streamed from her face.

“Raisa, I have to go now. I will always love you.” She held me in a hug.

“Mommy, you are hurting me, let go.” I squeaked not understanding why she was sad. She gently let me go still placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Sweetie, I have to go.”

“Why?”

“You will understand when you are older.” Then with that last sentence she stood up and briskly walked away without looking back. I tried to run after her, but my dad stopped me. He held my wrist and he pulled me into a hug with tears in his eyes.

My father never did tell me why he cried when my mom left. Or why he left her leave. When I asked he just gave me a sad smile and said, “I couldn’t be something that she needed me to be,” when he said that I asked no more.

I touched the tree with my now big hand and cried at all the memories that flashed through my mind. My mom came behind me and hugged me. I felt tears fall onto my shoulder.

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One Week Later

I feel a little bit better after visiting my father’s tree, but I am still stuck in this rut. But that all changed when she transferred into my class. It was a normal Tuesday in my math class, but I saw an unfamiliar face sitting next to me.

It was a girl with curly brown hair and dancing brown eyes. She had freckles painted across her nose that was a little too big for her face, but she was pretty nonetheless. She looked up and smiled at me. “Hi, my name is Noëlle Rockett.”

I was entranced by her beauty. “Oh my name is Raisa Kang.” I gave a small smile in return.

“Hi, Raisa I was wondering if you could show me what page we are on. The teacher just kind of brushed me away.”

I laughed a little. “Yeah he is known to do that. Mr. Lyon is not the best teacher in the world.”

She laughed and listened to the instructions that I gave her and at the end of class she stopped me from leaving. Turning around I met my gray eyes with her flickering eyes. She brushed hair out of her face. “Hey, Raisa do you mind if I follow you to lunch and sit with you?”

I smiled and nodded, maybe we could be friends, maybe just maybe. 

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