Relapse

You know that moment when you got the world on your shoulders . yeah that feeling.
you are looking for perfection in every direction but you seem i don't know lost.
i was bullied humiliated and embarrassed probably all my life.
i just wanted to feel relief ,feel like every girl on tumblr or on a magazine.
so i picked the razor and started relief on my arms,it got so bad that my mum took notice i refused to eat not even anything i was almost never hungry.they saw the scars on my wrists legs almost everywhere.
i had to help my self i was determinate that i would do it.
i picked up a camera and recorded a video for everyday
i spoke about what was happening and everything i wanted but was to scared to do.
for once i spoke not hiding a single thing
day after day people started asking liking for new video's.
the X-Factor requested me as a host call it what you want.
i was no longer the naive or sad little kid.i smiled a lot a genuine smile this time.
i became fun for once.

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1. Lights and Camera and Sing

sexy lady knows what she want out of life

she got her own means doing whatever she likes

she cant depend on a man

i had my headphones blasting probably i will go deaf.i kept singing more like shouting while skipping to Starbucks.

i was wearing a striped legging and Jack wills t-shirt.

people were staring at me like i was crazy.which is true but YOLO right?

i kept well umm..screaming until i reached Starbucks

i skipped to the counter.i turned the music off

and smiled at the girl behind the cashier

"Hello Gorgeous"i said 

"Hello"the girl smiled at me "What can i get you?" she politely asked

see calling a person beautiful or gorgeous means the world to them it makes them feeling like a princess trust me.

"ah i'll have a blueberry muffin and A chocolate mocha "i told her grinning like an idiot when i speak about chocolate

"Sure that would be 20$ Please"she replied

"There you go keep the change"I handed her the money

Putting’ my defenses up

‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If I ever did that
I think I’d have a heart attack

My phone started ringing

"Blue" Olly spoke 

"Yellow"i replied

Olly was my Buddy in the show he and i introduced the show

except he can sing while i sound like a bear chocking and that's coming from the person who sings

"But i don't like Yellow"Olly whined

"Yeah me too that was stupid"

"So when are you coming you are already late ?"olly asked

"Late ?"i questioned looking at my watch 

i was half an hour late

"Shit i'll be there"i relied then hung up

"Danielle Bieber"the girl spoke 

what once a belieber always a belieber .Hate me bro

"Thank you"i grabbed the bag

and practically Ran to the Stage

-After 15 minutes of Hard running-

"I am freaking here calm your butts down"i shouted the minute i entered

i saw Danielle on stage 

it's cool we have the same name

but she was a dancer and i can't dance to save my life

i am starting to think im not good at anything

i jumped on her back and laughed when she screamed

"Hey DeDe"i said hello decently this time

she turned around me and smiled when she saw me

"Dani "she screamed while throwing her arms around me crushing me in a hug

"Danielle William Edwards"Simon voice filled the stage

"Gadda Go"i told Danielle

"not so fast Missy turn around"i froze and turned around

"Haha me running form ..you.. haha..pfft..why"i blabbered 

"Why were you late"Simon asked

i knew he wasn't angry at me but you don't want to get on his bad side trust me been there done that.

"Funny story .. i found a stray ..."i trailed of

"Bunny"

"Dog"

me and Olly spoke at the same time

"Dog"

"Bunny"

god damn it

"Hahah well its not funny actually"i spoke

"Get to work" Simon told me 

"Thank you Simon" i told him grinning

i jumped on him and kissed his cheeks

"One direction and Demi Lovato are coming later be prepared everyone"

as soon those words came out of his mouth i knew what was coming

every single girl in the studio squealed and jumped

"Yay" i mumbled in a sarcastic voice

 

 

 

 

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