The Spark

Harry simply feels like the spark is gone. That's exactly what he tells Maria, shattering her heart. But when she shows up back into his life later will he be reminded of the reasons he once loved her? Or will her fiancé stand in his way?


15. Apologies and habits


  The warmth of the Jamaican air engulfed me when I stepped outside. It was nice to get away from London's cold winter. I had planed to talk with Maria last night about stuff but she never came back downstairs. I knew as soon as our sex life was mentioned she would get uncomfortable. It made sense she thought I used her. It looked like I did whenever I replayed our relationship in my mind. I felt terrible and I want to address her about the situation but I can't get her alone. I asked her to meet me out here when she finished breakfast. I just looked out at the ocean for about five minutes till I heard the open of the screen door.  "Hello Harry." The sound of my name rolling out of her mouth sent a shiver through my body. "Hello Maria." She leaned against the deck and her dark hair was loose for only the first time since Eleanor's party. She looked so familiar and beautiful. Her brown eyes practically blending in with her pupils. The shine in her eyes standing out. I had loved her once, a lot too. I'm not quite sure where it went wrong but I knew it was my fault. "I'm sorry Maria. I never used you for anything." She sighed next to me but I couldn't bring myself to look at her. "I wish I could believe you Harry." I held in my painful reaction to her words. "I'm serious, definitely not for your body. I did love you Maria. So much I don't know If I'll ever love someone like I once loved you.  Just the day after I left you I began to think and did for so long how my life would be if I continued to love you. I could only guess how much happier I would be." I stopped and looked at her to see if she was listening. She was. Her saddened eyes locked onto me as her hair hid part of her face. "Harry you don't have to say anything." She said it quietly , almost so I couldn't even hear her. "Yes Maria I do. If we're going to be friends we need to forgive each other.  I need you to understand I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel pain. Im sorry for taking our moments for granted because I believed there would be so many more. Then there weren't and I regretted my mistakes. I'm happy your happy now, but for us to both start new I need to know you forgive me Maria. Can you forgive me? And if you can't say yes, answer anyways because I rather live with an answer than die with a question. " I took my hand and tilted her chin up so she was looking at me. "Harry I-" Her soft voice was cut off by the screen door opening. She quickly pulled away from my touch.Then  I saw her force a smile upon her face. If you have ever took in the look of her happiness then you would know it was so fake. But Will walked out and nodded at me respectfully, not even second guessing Maria's look. "I'm sorry to interrupt,I just wanted some fresh air if you need me too I can go back inside." He was so manipulative. He knew we were out here and he knew I wanted it to be private. But he is so untrustworthy of her he barges in anyways.Maria should be offended. "No please its ok,  stay." Will looked at me so briefly no one else would have caught the dirty look he was giving me. The look of a warning sign. "Let's walk on the beach, have some time to ourselves for a while on the vacation. Who knows when we will get another chance." Maria didnt even glance at me as she grabbed a hold of his hand and turned to walk down the stairs. Not a word mentioned of our conversation. But I stood on the deck for Another moment and watched them walk a little. She laughed at Wills word but she didn't throw her head back. She held his hand but their fingers weren't interlocked. At then I understood how she did that. Pretended like she didn't care, like she didn't feel anything. It was because she did it so often with Will. It was just the opposite of what she did with me. She pretended to care, to feel something with him. But the way she talked about Will sometimes, I think she does in involuntarily. I think pretending has become her habit.  
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