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And they will try to stay away from each other (and fail every time) because what they have is dangerous, shaky. One wrong word and everything will collapse. They are time bombs, ticking closer to each other until they explode and make the world fall into place.
a Nate Ruess fanfiction.
Warning: self-harm

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5. The Way I Loved You

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing the rain 

It's two am and I'm cursing your name 

You're so in love you act insane 

And that's the way I loved you  

Breaking down and coming undone  

It's roller coaster kind of rush 

And I never knew I could feel that much 

And that's the way I loved you 

 

  The gossamer memories of her are everywhere. 

Sitting next to him on the couch, red hair spread across his lap, gray eyes focused on her book. 

Books. 

They're still there, everywhere. Sometimes, he picks them up and holds them to his chest, closes his eyes and thinks of her warm hands holding the covers and her lips (those lips that were on his so many times) mouthing the words. Gray eyes lost in a different world, where he doesn't exist.  

Soap. 

Her shampoo is in the cupboard still (honey and almond scented) and sometimes he smells it. He tries not to, though, because when he does it feels like his heart is breaking all over again.

  Hair.  

It's weird, he finds it every where. Stuck to the couches, in the shower, in his bed. Long red hairs that seem to float around the empty space (empty without her). 

He still loves her (for always).

*

 Sandra misses Nate. 

She's like a robot, no emotions in what's she's doing. Stony, cold, a mask.  She keeps the two shirts of Nate's she has. Sometimes (when she's feeling lonely) she takes one out and just hugs it. She tries not to do that often, because when she does it feels like her heart is breaking all over again. 

Music. 

His band (fun) has three singles out, and she hears them all over the radio. It's a reality check, a slap in the face when his voice fills her car. She almost causes accidents the first few times, but soon the only sign of her distress is the whiteness of her knuckles as she grips the steering wheel tightly. 

Fans

He does have fans, a lot of fans.

She hears his name when she's visiting her niece, whispered excitedly to one another, accompained with giggles and sighs. 

Nate Ruess, did you hear Some Nights? Yeah, what about We Are Young?

Sandra wants to cover her ears and block them all out, scream even. She's able to fight back the tears that always come when she thinks of him. 

She still loves him (forever).

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