I Would.

"If I could take away the pain, and put a smile on your face. Baby, I would. Baby I would." He sang to me. He held me in his arms, as I cried with my face in his chest. "It will be all right, I'm here for you." He whispered into my ear.

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1. So Alone.

Danielle's Point of View~

I winced at the painful feeling of paper cutting against my skin. I pulled my hand away to see a red liquid start to form on my hands and wrists.I dropped the blade and buried my hands into my now bloody hands. I could feel water form in  my eyes, one tear escaping after another.

So as you probably figured out, I just cut myself. But who cares? It is just for attention right? That's what the all tell me, so it must be true. Because apparently  they know everything that as happened, and what I go through.My name Is Danielle Grace.Now before you even ask, I am going to take a guess of what is going through your mind. "What does cutting even do?!" Well let me tell you my answer to that. I have no Fucking clue.I don't know why I do it, and I don't know why it helps me.It just..does. Just because someone is different, or you don't understand them and their situation doesn't man you should make their life a living hell. Let me tell you, Everybody tries.Would you want to be responsible for someone killing themselves? I wouldn't. But that's what everyone's job is when it comes to me.

Today was like every other day.Getting called everything but my name. Going to lunch with no one by my side because once I arrive, they all leave the table."Oh Danielle, they just feel bad about themselves, they don't mean it!" No they do know. Believe me.They know how much it kills me.They want it too. They all love themselves, some a little too much.

I guess you can call me a shy girl, if you really wanted. The ones that don't really talk, or do anything, except for what they are told .I honestly don't know what I did.Everyone has left me. I never really had any friends, and my family is gone. So I bet you're either thinking that- "Oh shut up no one gives a shit, about your pathetic life." or "Oh what happened?!?" I am just going to go with the second one, it makes me feel less depressed at the feeling that someone cares.

Well here it goes. I was born April 2nd, 1994 in Northern California. My life didn't always suck ass. I had a nice family. My Mom, dad, and a little brother on the way. I couldn't wait. I wanted someone to look up to me, and to be there for them. It never happened. One night, around 8:00 pm my dad came home from work. My mom and I were sitting on the couch watching American Idol. I was talking about how one day, I would be up there.I would be the one singing songs, and making music for others. 

In the middle of our conversation, My dad kicked the door in, he was clearly drunk. He came up to my mom and threw her to the floor. She called for me to run into the other room but I couldn't. I couldn't just leave her, even though I didn't really understand. I started to when he kick her stomach. She cried out in pain. I tried to get him off of her. I started screaming. "DADDY NO STOP!" He pushed me off throwing me across the room. I snuck into the kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife i could find. I gulped as I limped to the living room, as quietly as I could. I took a silent deep breath.He pulled a knife out of his back pocket and neared closer to my mother. I couldn't help but scream." NO! LEAVE HER ALONE!"  I ran up to him and stabbed him in the back. He gasped slightly  and grabbed his chest. He turned around, facing me. Tears escaped my eyes as I saw the knife. It went through his heart... My mom slightly started to stand up. He fell to the floor. I grabbed the knife and stabbed him more. Over and Over. I don't know why. I just couldn't stop myself.My mom came over and picked me up off of him. She grabbed the knife out of my hand and dropped it to the floor. I looked at her and her worried eyes stared into mine. She sat down on the couch, still holding me. I buried my face into her neck and started crying. "I-I'm so sorry mommy...He wouldn't stop hu-hurting you..." I stuttered out. "Shhhh. It's okay Danni.." She grabbed the phone off of the charger and dialed 911. "hello? I need you to send an ambulance." she told. I could hear the voice on the other end. "Ma'am is everything alright?" She took a deep breath and answered. "Yeah. Although, I'm not so sure about my Husband. I just need an ambulance Sent for him." "Alright can you tell us your name and address please?" "Yes, of course.My name is Nicole Grace. Our address is 62480 South lane. Apartment 6B." "I'm sending an ambulance now." She hung up the phone and wrapped her arms around me.

 

It was 2 years later, when i was almost 8, that I was in a orphanage. After, the incident, my mom's doctors discovered she had a rare type of cancer. She died a few weeks ago.. Her baby, my almost brother, didn't make it in time. My dad survived though. The fucking bastard. He went in jail, and still is. We had a restraining order against him. He sent me letters everyday, telling me that he would find me. It used to scare me, but not anymore. Now I send him letters, telling him to try and see what happened. I almost killed him once, I'm not afraid to do it for real. Everyone has come and gone since I first arrived, but I'm still here. Have been for almost 8 years now.No one wants me. I don't blame them myself. I was 6 and almost a murderer. But that was the past. I had no choice. He killed my Mother. My baby Brother. He kicked her too hard..I still blame myself. Don't ask why.I don't even know.

So have you ever felt like I have? Like you have no one? Like your a mistake? Because I feel that way everyday of my life. Every Second. Every minute. Every hour. I know that there are others out there that have similar problems. Like the bullying, and no parents and everything. But, I have never felt so alone....

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