An Indescribable Affair

"I'm torn between my family and you..." Harry said as he cradled his head in his hands and cried. He never cried, he couldn't even remember the last time he cried like this. Last time he cried like this, it was probably when his dad told him he was leaving, Harry was 7, he was now 23 and torn between his family and 19 year old Rene'e. Things were getting so complicated and this thing they had, it was never suppose to go this far. It was meant to be just a hook up and feelings got in the way.


3. "Holding Her & Loving You"


Louis and El walked out the living room, leaving Renee and I alone. She smiled at me and I smiled back. "I didn't know you knew Eleanor and Louis." I said. "I've known Eleanor since we were like 8. I don't know Louis all too well. How did you meet Louis?" She asked coming down off the last stair she'd been standing on. "Whe-..." She came closer to me. she made me weak. How did she make me weak? "When I was 16." My hand went in my pocket, which meant I was nervous. Oh god. She smiled and traced my sparrow tattoo on chest, which was revealed by my v neck I wore. I felt goosebumbs rise on my skin.

"Your tattoos are so sexy." She looked up from them to me with a very seductive look on her face. Her teeth clamped down onto her lip. That for me, was a turn on. I felt myself begin sweating as I stared at her doing it. "Renee..." I breathed. "Hmm?" She smiled. I think she knew what she was doing to me. "You're so incredible." I said leaning into her and our lips collided once again. I was longing for her lips for a whole 6 hours, and it seemed endless. Finally, I got it. I felt her tongue enter my mouth. Whoa, I wasn't expecting that. That was hot, I liked that. She let my tongue enter her mouth and our tongues battled each other. I haven't made out like this in a long time. A VERY LONG TIME. We spent a few more minutes making out when she pulled back and giggled. "What?" I asked smiling down at her. She was so cute. She shook her head and gently touched over my lips with her fingertips. "Those lips are so damn soft. I want them all over me again." She said smirking up at me. I raised my eyebrows. I shouldn't, I really shouldn't. I smiled down at the ground. "Renee...I..." I swallowed my spit and looked back up at her, I looked in her eyes. Oh god, she doesn't even need to look seductive to seduce me. What will one more night do? Just one more night.



Harry followed me back to my apartment. The older lady that lived next to me was out in the hall. I mean, she wasn't that old, but she was older than me. She was at least 40 something. I let go of Harry's hand as I unlocked my door. "Hello, Miss Renee." She said. I looked over and smiled. "Hi Tina." I replied. She looked over and smiled at Harry. "Harry." She nodded. I looked up at Harry and narrowed my eyes at her and so did Harry. Tina smiled "I heard her screaming your name last night." She replied. Harry snorted, holding himself back from laughter. I turned my head around and unlocked my door smiling with embarrassment. I opened the door and motioned Harry to go in. I looked back at Tina with my back against the doorframe. I smiled at her. "He's cute..." She said whispering "Go get 'em, cowgirl." I rolled my eyes and shook my head and laughed walking inside and shutting the door. "Sorry about that." I said putting my keys down on the counter. "She's insane." I said running my fingers through my hair. Harry walked over to me and smiled. "That's okay. You were kind of loud last night." He said grabbing a hold of my tiny waist. "Well, don't make me be so loud." I smiled. Our heads were together. "But I like to." He said as he lifted up my shirt and took it off. I already  was unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off of him quickly. He picked me up and held me against the wall. He kissed my neck and let me know he was in control of me, I wanted him to be. 

Eventually, we finished. I laid in his arms as he played with my hair. I thought about his wife at home and I knew he would have to leave soon, but I didn't want him to go at all. I wanted him to stay here with me for the night. I held onto him a little tighter and listened to his heartbeat. For some reason, this is all I wanted to do. This. Just this. This was absolutely perfect to me. I looked up at him and saw him already smiling at me. "What?" I asked giggling. He shook his head and raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Nothing, you're just perfect, babe." He said. I leaned up and kissed him. "You are." I said as I pulled away. He shook his head and smiled and then looked at his watch. "Oh, hell- I gotta go, baby." He said lifting me up and uncovered himself. I watched him get up and put on his pants. "Harry-" I whined. He looked back at me. I didn't know if I should tell him or not. But the words came out anyway. "Just stay- please?" I asked. He looked away as he held up his pants and sighed.



Would it be stupid to say that I was already falling for Renee? I don't know what it was, because it wasn't her beauty. Because, looks don't matter to me all that much, but Renee was gorgeous. I guess I felt closer to Renee when we made love. I love how she gives me signals and lets me know I do it right. She responds in a way. Rebecca didn't even let me touch her anymore. It was ridiculous. But we've been married for 4 years now, I love her- I do. She is the mother of my beautiful baby girl. It's just...I don't feel close to her, I'm not attracted to her, we're just like room mates, really. We just share the same house. Renee is different. I loved Renee so much more than Rebecca and to me, that was strange, because I JUST met Renee last night. I feel like, if we had something, it was a rare thing. I loved knowing that. And it will be hard going home later on tomorrow and holding Rebecca in my arms as I hug her and loving Renee. I wasn't going to just leave out the door, I still love her, but I love Renee more. I think this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

"Just stay- please?" Renee pleaded. I looked back as I held up my pants and sighed. "Alright, love." I took my pants back off and climbed back in the bed. I couldn't tell her no. Not at all. Renee smiled as I did. Our fingers became intertwined as we kissed some more. She pulled back and laid back down on my chest. She watched as my thumb gently rubbed over the back of her hand. "I really like your tattoos." She said. "Oh really?" I looked down at the ones she read by my wrist. "How many do you have?" She asked. I knew that exact number. "42" I replied. Her eyes widened. I didn't know if that was bad or not. "What?" I asked. She shook her head "Is that bad?" I asked. "No, tattoos are a turn on. I like them. Give you kind of a bad boy image." She said climbing on top of me with her legs on each side of me. I smiled as I looked up at me. My hands slid up her smooth things and back down. I just stared at Renee as she smiled back at me. Her blue green eyes glowed and were so bright. "God, you're so beautiful. How come I didn't marry you? I wish I knew you before." I said. She shook her head "Are you going to tell her?" She asked. I looked away, I wanted to avoid that. "Not yet." Renee looked a bit disappointed, I could tell she wasn't looking for that answer. She climbed off and laid by me. Did I make her mad?



"Are you going to tell her?" I asked Harry. I wanted to know, because I think I'm falling for him already. "Not yet" He replied. Yeah, that wasn't the answer I wanted. I climbed off of him and laid back down. That was disappointing, I wanted Harry to tell me he was. I wanted him to myself. That was very selfish, but I don't care. I can treat him right. Even Louis said I was better than his wife Rebecca. I'll give him what he wants and needs.

"Renee? Are you mad?" He asked me. I shook my head "No, Harry. I'm not mad." He leaned up on his elbows and stared at me. "Then why did you get off like you were?" I sighed and avoided his eye contact. "Because, that- that wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for. You know, after one night with you, Harry, I know I can fall for you. I kinda already am." I said. He sighed and looked away and then back at me. "Well, Renee I can't just leave her, you know, I love her still, but I love you more." "I don't even do relationships, but I want one with-" I stopped myself when I realized what he just said. My head shot around to Harry "Wait--what?" Did he just say he loved me? "I love her, but I love you more." He repeated himself "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, Renee. But with you, I feel closer than I ever have been with anyone. I feel like you and I could eventually have something like no one else." I smiled at him as he spoke those words. "Awww, Harry!" I leaned over and kissed him. I felt him pull me back on top of him and he pulled back. "Just give me time, okay?" "Okay" I replied with a smile. His hand found it's way to my face and stroked it. I grabbed a hold of it and kissed it. His eyes narrowed as he stared up at me. "How old are you, anyway? You never told me." My lips pulled away form his skin. "You tell me first." I asked. "I'm 23, how old are you?" He asked again. Uh oh....hopefully I wasn't too young for him.I looked away and then down. "19..." I answered. His face was blank when I looked back over at him.



19??? I've been hooking up with a 19 year old??? I've been falling in love with a 19 year old???!!!

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