Lost It All

Alana used to be the happy girl. She used to have tons of friends. That is until her best friend Bree gets hit by a car and dies in Alana's arms. Suddenly half the school blames her for the accident. Alana is sucked into a dark depression. She is pushed to cutting and becomes suicidal. Will someone be able to help her or will she stay alone and lost. Plunging deep into the darkness. A darkness where she cant come out.

4Likes
2Comments
273Views
AA

3. A Change In Heart

I wake up and look at the time. Midnight. I decide to get on my computer. I decide to get on Face book. There were a bunch of messages from kids telling me I am a killer. Then the girl that had called me a killer yesterday sent me a message. So here name is Diane. She was on-line.
Diane~Bitch why don't you just die you are a worthless killer
Me~ Shut the hell up!!!! I am not a killer!! I didn't mean for that to happen to Bree
Diane~Sure you pushed her into the street you dumb ass bitch!!
Me~Fuck you and leave me the hell alone!!!
Diane~What ever bitch. I dare you to show your face in school! I will beat your ass.
Me~Yeah fucking right bitch!!!!
Diane~Bye unlike you I have a life!

    I turn off the computer angry. I was not a killer. Tears started streaming down my face. I go and grab my razor. I look at my arm. 
Slit.......Slit..........Slit..........I start crying harder. I lay down. I fucking hate my life. What is the point of this anymore. I cover my ears and start screaming.. My mom comes running in. "Are you okay?" She asks her voice full of concern. 

"Just a nightmare." I lie. She hugs me but I push her away.

"I'm fine." I whisper. She kisses my head and walks out. I pick up my phone to call Bree. Wait Bree is dead. Its because of me. I have no friends because I am killer. Why did I have to care about that boring ass book. Then I could have helped Bree. I lay down and curl into a ball.

"I should just die. Just kill myself" I keep repeating that over and over till finally I go to sleep.


The next morning, I feel just a bit better. That is until I realize I have school again. I put on a ripped BVB tee a hoodie and purple ripped jeans. I put on Ash warpaint today. Then my BVB necklace and Ash charm bracelet. I put my hair in my normal fashion. Then I grab my iPod off the charger. I sit in the living room and watch TV. 


"Your going to school today?" My mom asks me. 
"Yes I am! Why do you care?" I snap.
"Just asking." She says.
"Well you have a problem when I don't go and you have one when I do!" I snap. I look at the time. 
"I'm walking today." I silently say and leave.

The walk gives me time to think and listen to music. I start singing Savoir quietly.

I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark.
But now I know my wounds are sown because of who you are.
I will take this burden on and become the holy one.
But remember I am human and I am bound to sing this song.

So hear my voice.
Reminds you not to bleed.
I am here.

Savior! will be there.
When you are feeling alone. ohhh.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm

So here I write my lullaby.
To all the lonely ones.
Remember as you learn to try to be the one you love.
So I can take this pen and teach you how to live.
But what is left unsaid, the greatest gift I gave.

So hear my voice.
Reminds you not to bleed.
I am here.

Savior! will be there.
When you are feeling alone. ohhh.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm

Savior! will be there.
When you are feeling alone. ohhh.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm

When I hear your cries.
Praying for life.
I will be there.

When I hear your cries. 
Praying for life.
I will be there.

I will be there!
I will always be there!
I will be there!


Some one taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and this guy about 6'3 and with hair like mine is standing behind me. "Yes." I say politely.
"You sing really pretty. Oh I love Black Veil Brides by the way." He says with a smile.
"Thanks." I reply.

"Well I have to head to school. Call me sometime." He says and hands me his phone number. I nod. I couldn't believe that someone would like me.
I decide to start singing Rebel Love Song.

I cannot hide what's on my mind 
I feel it burning deep inside 
A passion crime to take what's mine 
Let us start living for today 

Never gonna change my mind 
We can leave it all behind 
Nothing's gonna stop us 
No, not this time 

[Chorus:] 
So, take your hand in mine 
It's ours tonight 
This is a rebel love song 
Heart's will sacrifice 
It's do or die 
This is a rebel love song 

My outlaw eyes have seen their lies 
I choke on all they had to say 
When worlds collide, what's left is mine 
I hold on tight and hear you pray 

Never gonna change my mind 
We can leave it all behind 
Nothing's gonna stop us 
No, not this time 

[Chorus:] 
So, take your hand in mine 
It's ours tonight 
This is a rebel love song 
Heart's will sacrifice 
It's do or die 
This is a rebel love song 

Wild and running for one reason 
They can't stop us from our freedom 
(Wild and running for one reason! ) 
(They can't stop us from our freedom! ) 

Never gonna change my mind 
We can leave it all behind 
Nothing's gonna stop us 
No, not this time 

[Chorus:] 
So, take your hand in mine 
It's ours tonight 
This is a rebel love song 
Heart's will sacrifice 
It's do or die 
This is a rebel love song 

Take your hand in mine 
It's ours tonight 
This is a rebel love song 
Heart's will sacrifice 
It's do or die 
This is a rebel love song.

I walk into school feeling just a bit better. That is until I get to my locker and the work Killer is spray painted over it. "WHO DID THIS!!!" I yell. There are some people laughing. Then I see Diane with a bottle of spray paint in her hand. I walk up to her.
"Why the hell would you do this bitch!!!" I yell.
"Who me?" She says innocently 
"YES YOU BITCH NOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" I yell louder
"Fuck you bitch! I did it to let everyone know you are a killer!" She snaps
"I AM NOT A FUCKING KILLER!" I yell.
"You are!" She yells back.
"Call me a killer one more time and I will show you a killer!" I yell
"KILLER KILLER KILLER!" She yells. 

That was it. I jumped on top of her and kept punching and slapping her. Then, I started banging her head against the lockers. Suddenly I feel someone pulling me back. I look back and its that guy again. 

Then a bunch of teachers came. "What is going on here?" Mr. Yates our principle says coming. "She attacked me!!" Diane yells. "Come with me!" Mr. Yates yells at me. I go and just sit and listen.

 I get yelled at for an hour straigh. Then I get suspended for a week. Oh fun. 
I am stuck in ISS until school is over and finally I can go. I see the guy and I walk up to him.
"Hi. Why where you fighting?" He asks. 
"Hi, that bitch thinks I'm a killer." I reply.
"Oh, well why does she think you are a killer?" He asks. 
"Can we go somewhere else and talk about this." I ask.
"Sure oh I am Jayden by the way." He tells me.
"I'm Alana." I say.

I call my mom and tell her I have a Detention so I could go with Jayden. He takes me to this quiet spot in the woods.
"Nice place." I admire. 
"Thanks. I go here when I am upset." He tells me.
I just kinda keep quiet. How do you tell someone you killed your best friend.
"So why were people calling you a killer?" He asks me.
"Because 2 years ago my best friend got hit by a car and everyone thinks I killed her." I say tears starting to come.
"How could they think that?" He asks.
"I dont know." I whisper starting to shake with tears.

He hugs me. We talk for a couple hours and he walks me home. "Call me." He says. I go in feeling better. I even hug my mom again. She smiles and I go into my room and text Jayden for hours. When I go to bed I am actually happy.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...