If Only...

Jaylynn had a pretty bad family life, but to her, her friends were her family. The only difference being all of her friends were guys. I mean girls just caused too much drama. But one day, her "best friends" betray her and do the unthinkable. Will their be someone to catch her after she falls? If Only...


20. Go Away, but Don't Leave

Jaylynn's POV

I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything. I'm lost, and have no idea where to go.

Everything I do reminds me of him. The house he took me to. What he did.

I haven't even cried. I'm numb. The boys try to cheer me up. I've been home for a day and a half, and have been showered with gifts. I told them to take it all back. I then curled up into a ball on my bed, facing the wall, and staring at it, letting the endless thoughts cloud my mind. Last night, I felt Niall crawl into the bed next to me and lay his hand on my arm, trying to comfort me. Nothing worked to comfort me. I layed awake all night.

This morning, I heard all the boys chatting downstairs quietly, obviously trying to hide something from me. I ignored them and attempted to sleep again. I finally felt myself drift off to sleep towards the afternoon, falling into a black hole of nothing.

I woke up later that night to the same hushed mumbles coming from downstairs. I uncurled myself and went into the bathroom, turning on the shower and washing away all dirt and grime I couldn't get off my body the other night when Niall got me. I quickly finished, changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a tank. I noticed that the outline of my ribs showed through the tank. I shrugged it off and trudged down the stairs.

The hushed whispers had ended, and I was greeted with friendly smiles, but guilty eyes. I let it go and wandered into the kitchen, looking for something to eat. I felt their eyes follow me as I walked into the kitchen, and soon enough, all of them were sat down at the table, watching me search for anything.

"Are you hungry?" I asked them half-heartedly.

"No, we ate earlier" Liam responded.

i nodded in response and pulled out a bag of frozen chicken. I heated up a pan, carefully placing a chicken breast in the center, and stepping back to clean up the rest of the stuff I had taken out while it began to cook.

I finished cooking the chicken, placing it on a plate along with some leftover pasta I had heated up. I set the plate down in front of me, all the boys staring at me, waiting for me to eat. For them, I hadn't eaten in two days. For me, I hadn't eaten in 8.

I cut the chicken into pieces, and as I do, a wave of nausea spreads through my body. I run into the bathroom, leaning over the toilet, and spilling the little contents I had in my body. Thankfully I had drank some water, or it would've been more painful than it already was.

Once I had finished, I flushed the toilet and leaned my head against the wall, finally letting the tears fall over my eyelids, and stream down my face. it was too much to keep bottled up. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, gently picking me up and carrying back upstairs. I leaned into their chest, immediately recognizing it as Niall from the scent of his cologne. He layed me down on the bed, tucking me in before beginning to walk out of the room.

"Thank you" I mumbled before he walked out of the room. Exhausted from crying, I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

Nightmares replaced dreams, and screams replaced snores. I woke up the next morning with five guys looking down at me, worried expressions across all their faces. The all leaned away from me, each sitting on the bed around me as I sat up. 

"I'm ok." I said to them, but they all just looked down and shook their heads.

"No, you are not. This shouldn't have happened." Zayn said, shaking his head.

"Listen, we need to talk to you about something Jay" Harry said quietly.

"So talk. I'm up for listening" I said, trying to joke around, but none of them bought it.

"We have to leave for tour in a week. 6 days to be exact. We talked to management. You can either go with us or-" Niall started but I cut him off.

"No. I don't want to go and ruin it. I'm just not up to it right now. Too much has happened already" I said.

"You either go or we are sending you somewhere to live. There will be therapists there that will help and-"

I cut Niall of once again, raising my voice.

"SO YOU ARE GIVING ME THE FUCKING CHOICE OF TOUR OR A FUCKING MENTAL HOSPITAL!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?? I'M NOT FUCKING INASNE! WHAT THE FUCK!" and with that, I jumped up from the bed, walking down the stairs and out the front door. I just needed time to think. I didn't wander far, scared of what may be out there, but I reached the small orchard the neighbors owned at the end of the street. I sat down in the shade of one of the trees, resting my head against the bark, and thinking everything trough.


Niall's POV

"I can't believe we would even think that was ok" Louis said.

Everyone nodded their head in agreement.

"Let's just tell her that she can go or stay here, but with a security guard" Liam suggested.

Once again, everyone nodded in agreement. We spent another hour just talking about how we were going to handle the situation with her.

"Ok boys, I'm gonna go see where she is" I said, getting up from the bed and stretching my arms.

"We'll go with you" Zayn said, getting up along with all the other boys.

We walked down the stairs, and right when we were about to leave, the door swung open, revealing a tired looking Jaylynn, tear stains streaking her cheeks.

"I'll go with you guys. But one condition. No one asks me anything. When I feel like talking, I will, but until then if I hear one word about what happened, I will leave. No matter where we are." she said, a hint of fear and anger in her voice. She trudged up the stairs, slamming the bedroom door.

Me and the boys spent the rest of the night watching the telly, playing mindless games, and finally getting up to go to bed around midnight.

I crawled under the covers, wrapping my arms around Jay. For once, she didn't stop me or push away.

"I'm broken Niall. I'm sorry for everything" she said, still facing the opposite way.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I will love you forever. You are safe with me. I promise." I said before pulling her closer and drifting to sleep.

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