If Only...

Jaylynn had a pretty bad family life, but to her, her friends were her family. The only difference being all of her friends were guys. I mean girls just caused too much drama. But one day, her "best friends" betray her and do the unthinkable. Will their be someone to catch her after she falls? If Only...


10. Depression

I made it back to the flat and collapsed on my bed, tears pouring out of my eyes. I never want to go back to that life. I never want him to find me. I cause too much trouble for everyone.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, I felt the covers being pulled over my shivering body and a voice whispering in my ear.

"I won't ever let anything bad happen to you." Niall said as he placed a small kiss on my cheek.

I didn't think he knew that I was awake, so when I spoke, I scared him a little.

"Stay. Please" I said. He turned around and crawled into the bed with me, wrapping his arms protectively around me and running his fingers through my hair until I fell back to sleep.

*The next morning*

Sunlight shone through the cracks in the curtain covering the window. I sat up and noticed I was alone. I got up, nervous that the story I had told scared them away. That was until I noticed the little blue sticky note sitting on the nightstand next to the bed.

Jay, We have an interview at 8. Be back around noon. I left some money in case you get hungry and don't feel like eating cereal again. xx~Niall

I set down the note and the table and got up to get dressed. I couldn't help but notice a lingering depression coming over my whole body.

By telling the boys my past last night, I also made myself relive it. Just thinking about it made my heart crumble to pieces. I walked into the bathroom and pulled up my sleeve, exposing faded pinkish-tan scars my wrist held as a reminder of the pain I can and have endured.

I take a look at the clock and see that its almost noon. Moving carefully, I pull a blade from my razor before throwing the rest away. No need to cause suspicions. I sit myself at the edge of the tub, looking at the blade, thinking back to the promise I made myself.

But that was old times. I promised myself not to hurt myself even more than I was already being hurt. Since I wasn't being abused anymore, one cut can't hurt.....

Niall's POV

I didn't want to leave her this morning. She was cuddled up into my chest, and it surprised me to see that no nightmares had plagued her sleep. I heard a knocking on the door, and knew I was running late. I carefully untangled myself from her and went to get dressed. Right before I left, I worte her a note telling her where we were and when we'd get back.

During the interview, I had this weird feeling that something was wrong. Like something was going to happen. I ignored it and finished the interview with the boys.

We all decided to chill at my flat after the interview, and when I opened the door, it looked like Jay hadn't even woken up yet. I walked towards her room when I saw her walk out of the bathroom.

"Hey. Whatcha doin?" I asked her with a smile.

"What? A girl can't pee?" she said sarcastically. The weird feeling I was having went away when I saw she was ok, but something was still off about her.

She quickly changed before settling down on the couch and turning the tv on. All the boys jumped on the couch around her, Louis sat down right in her lap.

"Whatcha watching Jay-Jay?" Louis said as she pushed him off her lap.

"X-factor, I think it's called? It's some singing show." she said.

Me and the boys all started laughing.

"What's funny?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"You mean you don't know?" Liam said, a confused look crossing his own face.

"Know what?" she said.

"We were a singing group on X-factor one year. We lost but we are still kinda famous." Harry said in an annoyed tone.

"Really?" she said.

"Have you ever heard of One Direction?" Zayn said.

"Ya, aren't they, like, a British band or something? I've heard a song of theirs on the radio before." she said.

"Whatever. I'm done with this!" Harry shouted before exiting the room and stalking into the kitchen.

"We are One Direction." Liam said.

"Oh......" Jaylynn said with an apologetic look on her face.

"I'm gonna go talk to Harry." Louis said, but Jaylynn stopped him before he could get up.

"It's ok. I'll talk to him." she said and exited the room.

Harry's POV


We were all fucking idiots for believing that piece of shit, no good liar sitting in the other room. She says she was abused and raped and blablabla.

Bull shit! She was like every other girl out there that wanted nothing more than to be famous. Acting shy and lost and hurt just to get into our hearts. Then acting stupid like they don't know who we are.

She followed me into the kitchen, asking me what was wrong.

"Nothing!" I replied.

She came closer to me and stared at me with those big, bright eyes of hers. It made me want to talk, not yell.

"You seriously have never heard of us?" I asked her quietly.

"I mean I've heard of you, I just never saw a picture or anything." she said quietly. I noticed she seemed a little scared and nervous around me.

I didn't realize how close we were until I took her face into my hands and leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away almost as fast as her lips touched mine. She looked at me with tears in her eyes before running out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom.

That's when I noticed Niall standing there, a look of anger spreading across his face. If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under. He didn't say anything to me, but instead followed Jaylynn to the bathroom.

Jaylynn's POV

I ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I heard some commotion coming from the other side of the door, but I ignored it as I took the blade from the hidden spot where I had placed it earlier.

I rolled up my sleeve for the second time that day, but this time I took the blade to my skin, and reopened the healed wounds. The temporary pain relived me of my emotional distress, but as soon as the pain subsided, I felt the need for more.

I cut line after line across my wrist, none of them satisfying me completely. The voices outside the door, becoming more quiet, everything beginning to blur.

And I cut one final line, this one going deep into my flesh, severing everything it touched.

This was bliss.

And as I passed out, I felt hands holding me up, and an angelic voice telling me it was going to be alright.

It was wrong. I was alright. Death was peace.

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