Maybe your not who I really thought you were

what happens when everything seems perfect and all in place but then you realize everything is wrong and falling apart? what happens when the people you love turn on you? what do you do when your world crumbles?

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32. everytings forgotten..but is that okay?

*Niall's POV*

It's been one week. One whole fucking week that I haven't been able to talk to Jenna. That I haven't been able to wrap her in my arms and tell her I love her. One week that I haven't been able to clasp her small hands in mine or lean down and connect her soft lips with my own. How could I have been so stupid. I made her promise that she wouldn't cut and then I became the cause of her cutting herself. My princess was crying out in pain as she ripped her skin apart all because of me. My baby is missing precious time in her life, if she will even wake up.... all because of, me. How could I have been so stupid? Why couldn't I even think straight that night?. I can't lose Jenna. Because if I lose her ill lose myself. This past week has felt like years. I never left her side not once. I stayed right by her side unless she had to be taken out of the room to have tests done. Other than that I was right there just waiting for her big brown eyes to flutter open. But every second that I didn't see them open, was every second that I doubted myself even more. The boy and their girlfriends would come by and try and get me to go out for at least an hour and just get out of the hospital, But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't get out of here until I knew she was awake and well. What is she woke up while I was out and I wasn't there for her? What if the heart monitor went into one solid beep one last time indicating her passing? I couldn't leave her side. I looked down at her now. Her long curly chestnut brown hair laying down spread across the pillow her head was resting on. She looked so peaceful. Even though I knew behind that hospital gown, on her skin it looked as though a battlefield had took place across her waist. I looked down at her hand, Her hand intertwined with my own, her other hand laying beside her. I didn't even notice there was tears falling down my face until one fell on to her hand. I quickly wiped it away being careful with her now very fragile body from her lack of eating. It made me wonder.. was I the cause of that too?

 

*Jenna's POV*

I couldn't see anything. I just saw darkness except for a calendar over in the corner telling me what day it was. It was so weird where I was. I didn't know where that was exactly but I couldn't get out. The calendar was telling me that I had now been in this empty unknown dark area for a week now. I don't remember anything during this week though. The last thing I remember is being in my room with Niall with him laying beside me. I looked down at my sides and saw that all the cuts were still there. I felt a sharp pain in my heart remembering I had broken a promise to Niall.  I felt really tired all the sudden and in looked up and saw a bed in the corner. I looked around this unkown place and went to the bed and laid down. I fell into a restless sleep. I felt something warm in my hand. I felt something warm and wet  land on my hand but was soon quickly wiped away. I opened my eyes but I was no longer in the dark room. My eyes were soon flooded with light as I saw I was somewhere else. Finally my eyes adjusted to the intense lighting and I looked around. Was I in a hospital? I still felt something warm in my hand so I looked over to see what it was. I saw a hand clasped in mine. I knew that hand anywhere. Could it really be him? I followed the muscular arm up to the shoulders the arm was connected to and then up to the face. I gasped "NIALL!" I screamed he jerked his head around "AGGHH" he screamed jumping up and jerking his hand away from mine. I laughed and then looked at him he looked back over at me. His eyes speaking so many emotions scared...shocked...worried..sadness? I opened my arms up and he slowly walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me. I ignored the pain in my sides and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt my shirt get wet with tears. But they weren't my tears. I pulled Niall back and saw that he was crying. "I can't believe it. You're actually awake." He said this and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. I pulled him towards me and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He pulled back and looked at me. I though you broke up with me." confusion took me over. "Why would I break up with you??" I asked him. Now he looked confused. "Because of at  the ..at the club... when you left with Louis.." he trailed off quietly. "Jenna whats the last thing you remember?" He asked now looking even more worried. I looked up at him "I remember being in the bathroom and...and.." I now couldn't control the tears coming down my face. "I remember..b-..breaking your promise. I remember hating myself so much fro breaking it and realizing what I did I went and laid down on the bed and I fell asleep and you came and woke me up in the best way possible and that's all I remember" I said now sobbing. He slid in beside me on the hospital bed. "Shh baby shhh im not worried about that right now and Im so sorry for what im about to tell you. Which is what you wouldn't remember now." Fear bubbled up inside me as I heard this. He told me everything that happened. I lifted up my hospital gown and saw my sides.  I looked down and saw cut after cut on my sides. I remembered that I hadn't bee eating but I sill didn't remember anything from before that Niall is talking about. I looked up at Niall and saw sadness in his eyes. "Jenna Im so sorry for what I did I swear if I could take it back I would I didn't mean it at all and I hate myself for it. I hated myself more and more each and every day that you were in this coma." I shut him up by placing my lips on his. "Niall, baby.. i'm not breaking up with you." I said thius and shock filled his face. "Really? but why?" I looked into his crystal blue eyes. "Because I love you and I love you more and more each day and you're the only one for me. You are perfect for me and I can only hope to be perfect for you."

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