Gotta Be You


I glance up at him, and sure enough he has tears trickling down his face. I reach up and wipe them away with my thumb.

“I thought I had lost you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had.” He says it slightly louder now. “I was terrified. I shouldn’t have left you. I should have been by you that whole time.” He shakes his head, tears flowing steadily now.


23. Chrismas

Niall’s POV


I felt bad for lying to Megan. I just really wanted to surprise her. It kills me to think that I had just lied to the woman I could picture spending the rest of my life with; living in a little, two-storied, white house. A wrap-around porch with a swing-chair so that we could drink tea and watch the sun either rise or set. A beautiful kitchen and a full dining room. A living room with a big fireplace to warm us in the winter. Bedrooms for our children.


I’m pulled out of my obsessive thoughts when I feel Megan shift beside me. I look over at her, and see that she is still asleep. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps; angelic almost. I get a pang in my stomach knowing I lied right to her. I lied and took her innocence for granted.


Feeling guilty I settle down and sling my arm over Megan’s tiny waist. It seemed smaller than before but I thought nothing of it. I pull her in closer to my chest and fall asleep to the sound of our heartbeats, beating as one.



Megan’s POV



My eyes shoot open when I feel a sharp pain in my leg. I yelp out in pain. When my eyes adjust to the light, I see Louis and Harry jumping on the bed and sitting on Niall. I laugh and slide out of bed, forgetting I was only in my underwear and Niall’s shirt. The boys stop laughing and jumping when their eyes land on me.


“Megan” Niall breathes. It was hardly anything above a whisper; only just audible.


Niall gets out of bed slowly and paces towards me. I look down and let a tear escape my eye. When Niall reaches my side he touches my waist and immediately pulls away. I look up at him and he has tears silently streaming down his face. I look over at the other boys and they do as well.


“Why?” Niall manages to choke out.


“I don’t know. The hate got to me I guess and I just snapped.” Niall breaks after I said those words. His falls to the ground and puts his face in his hands; sobbing.


“You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore.” Niall says through his tears.


“I promised nothing of the sorts. I promised you I wouldn’t cut, not that I wouldn’t eat. I just want to be smaller and skinnier is all. Is that some sort of crime? I just want to be beautiful.” I say through tears. Niall’s eyes shoot up and he gives me a pained expression.


“You want to be beautiful? Megan, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. The way your eyes light up when you smile. Or the way your head tilts back when you laugh. Or the way you bite your lip and frown slightly when you’re thinking. Everything you do and everything about you is absolutely, most certainly beautiful. You are nothing less.” Niall is in hysterics now; his chest shaking with force and tears falling into his hands.


I bend down to sit on the ground by him. I don’t say anything, I just sit there. Niall’s head slowly rises from his hands and he looks at you with wet eyes.


“Please” he begs. “Please tell me you won’t do it again. Please tell me that you won’t ever, in any way, harm yourself again. Please, just promise me that.” You nod slowly and Niall’s arms shoot out and pull you into his chest.


The two of us sit there, crying, for a while until Harry and Louis join us on the floor. We all hug and wipe our tears.


“Well, let’s go open some presents now.” I say trying to lighten the mood a bit. The three boys laugh at your attempt.


“Love you Megan.” Harry says before leaving.


“With all my heart” Louis adds on his way out as well; leaving me and Niall.


I look over at Niall who is still wiping tears from his face. I pad over to him and wipe the remaining tears from his face. He looks at me in adoration and smiles. He takes my hand and pulls me out of the bedroom, to the living room, where everyone else is seated. I put on a smile and say good morning to everyone.


We all take a seat on the floor and pass out present to everyone.


We sit there with bows on us, laughing at everything; Christmas paper littering the floor; the Christmas lights still shimmering; the tree changing colours every so often. This is what Christmas is all about; family. I’ve never once had a Christmas where I felt like a family. But now, now I know. Now I know what it’s like to belong somewhere, to be a part of a family. It feels so great.


I decided I would give Niall his present in private; where it could be more romantic.


The girls and guys loved their presents and we leave for Paris in two days. I’m stoked. Everyone is planning what we’re going to do already. Niall says he wants to do something special, just the two of us one night. Knowing him, it’ll be romantic.


After a day of fooling around and watching Christmas movies, we all settle down at the dining room table. We all join hands and sing with one another; harmonizing. We sing silent night softly. We then bow our heads and give thanks to God for the lovely meal set in front of us.


“Amen” we say in unison. We chatter over dinner; exclaiming the deliciousness of the food. We talked animatedly about the trip to Paris. And over all we talked about everything and anything.


We finished dinner and desert and we all thanked each other once again for the lovely gifts, and headed off to bed.


When I get to the top of the stairs I open our door and walk to the bathroom. There, I brush my teeth and put my hair up into a messy bun. I pull off my dirty clothes and pull on Niall’s shirt. I exit the bathroom to see Niall siting on the bed. He looks up at the sound of my feet slapping against the tiles in the bathroom. He smiles and I see him holding a box. I look at it questioningly. He gets up from his place on the side of the bed and stalks in my direction. He stops right in front of me and shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot. I take my hand and bring it to his chin, tilting it so his eyes will meet mine.


“Megan, I love you uncontrollably and indefinatly. I can literally picture myself spending the rest of my life with you. I want you to know that you are beautiful and that I do love you 100%. So I found out a way to make you always remember it.” He opened the box and pulled out a bracelet. It was silver and said ‘perfection’ on it. Even with the quotation marks. I look at the boy I love with tears in my eyes.


“It’s to remind you that there is no such thing as perfection; that you don’t need to be skinnier or prettier for me to love you. I’ll love you even if you were 500 pounds. I mean I would worry about you than because that would be unhealthy and would lead to a shorter life for you and I don’t want that. But none the less, I’ll love you even then. You are as close to perfection as there could possibly be. You ARE beautiful, in every single way.” I wipe the tears that had escaped and cascaded down my cheeks.


“I love you so much Niall. Thank you.” I say through your tears.


“And I love you” he says with a smile. I have a sudden moment of realization and I sprint to my closet.


“Megan? Love is everything alright?” Niall calls after me.


“Yeah. Everything’s great I just forgot to give you this.” I say whilst pulling out his present.


“What’s this?” Niall asks in amazement.


“Your Christmas present; now go on, open it.” I tell him. He careful places my present down on the floor and sits with it; crossed-legged. He looks up at me before he tears open the wrapping paper. He stops short when he sees the guitar siting in a box. I had to put the guitar in a different box or he would’ve been able to tell what it was. He gently runs his fingertips over the polished wood of the guitar’s body. He brings his hand to his mouth and holds it there. He then looks up at me with tears in his eyes.


“It’s beautiful. Thank you so much baby. This must’ve cost a fortune.” I shrug it off.


“Open the other box. There’s more.” Niall sifts through the box and his fingers stop on another little box; the box containing his new pick. Opening the little box and sees the pick. He reaches in the box pulls it out. He examines it for a while before standing and pulling me into a passionate kiss.


He walks me back towards the bed and gently sets me down there. We kiss for what seems like hours but in reality are only minutes. I reach up and fiddle with the hem of his shirt, tugging at it gently. Soon the shirt is up and over his head. Niall breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes.


“Are you sure you want this?” he asks with a hint of concern laced in his voice.


I don’t answer the question; I just pull him back down towards me and kiss him passionately. He soon kisses me back and next thing I know, my shirt is off as well.

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