Being lost and in pain for a long time is such a hard time. Alexandra just wants to fit in everywhere she goes but it never works for her. She meets a new best friend and then he Changes on her in the middle of the school year.


4. Chapter 3

Can you hear heaven cry the tears of an angel. The tears of an angel. Tears of an angel....... Strawberry clock, stars are in shock river will run to the sea. I won't let you fly. I won't say goodbye. I won't let you slip away  from me.

  Sounds of heart monitors. Sounds of tears. The sound of people talking. My eyes slowly open up to see nothing but a blur at first. I blink a few times to see Ethan and my baby brother on his lap in a chair. I saw my mom crying out to the doctor as he tried his best to calm her down.   Why is Ethan here he did this to me. He doesn't even care what so ever I hope he dies someday.  

"Guys she's awake!" Ethan shouts as everyone turns their direction towards me.   Fuck you Ethan maybe I just wanted to sit here a few more minutes in peace. I decided not to speak.  

"Oh my god Alexandra! My baby your alright" my mom comes running towards me with a hug. The body heat was warm and cozy.   She pulls from the hug and moves my hair behind my ear as she stares into my eyes. Her eyes sparkle a baby blue like the ocean.

  "Ethan is here he came running to the hospital to see you, he ran all the way here just for you" my mom kept repeating the same shit over and over again I absolutely don't care. I wouldn't care if he ran from Canada to this hospital to see me.   The doctor whispered something to my mom and she nodded her head coming towards me with a kiss.  

"Listen sweety it's almost time for us to leave its 9pm and they want you to sleep so I'm taking Caleb back home Ethan will be here with you ok?" I just nodded my head not daring to look my way at Ethan. I could sense that his eyes were on mine.

  I kissed my brother and mom a goodbye as they walked out. It was just me and Ethan. Everything was awkward he didn't speak nor did I. Before you know it I hear someone weeping and I turn my way to look at Ethan in tears. He was literally crying.  

"Why the hell are you crying?" I snap at him , I didn't mean to but it just happened.  

"Why am I crying? Your in the hospital for gods sake because you attempt to kill your self!" He was pissed off as much as I probably was.  

"You know what's so funny? I wouldn't be in this fucking mess if you didn't play a game with me!" I could feel my blood getting hot and so was I.

  "Playing games with you? What game! I just told you I have a girlfriend that's all!" He gets up from the chair slamming his fist against the wall.  

"Well I guess you don't know the truth do you? When you called me and told me that the phone fell right out of my hand and I bursted into tears running to my bathroom and that's when everything happened! Your my best friend and your not even catching on! I freaking loved you ever since! I thought you loved me as well but I guess I was wrong because you obviously love some other girl who will actually make you happy!" That's when I started crying uncontrollably. I was in so much pain. I felt like my heart was just taken out of me and smashed.

  Ethan calmed down and backed up from the wall. I could tell he was shock but he had to know someday and I guess it's today.  

"" the only word that came from his mouth.  

"No no no! This is not how it's supposed to be! Not at all!" He was panicking and freaking out.  

"What do you mean!" I guess he doesn't like me then.   Ethan comes rushing up to my bed leaning towards my face. His warm hands grab my cheeks.  

"I loved you I have loved you for so long. I thought I wasn't good enough for you I was scared to tell you how I feel! But you know what you also don't know the girlfriend I have I didn't pick her! Her name is Melanie and my dad is making me date her. You know how my dad is he says I'm worthless and need a girl so he is making me date her. Alice I love you please" every word swam through my head as I was looking into his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.  

Ethan slowly moved into kiss me and so did I. Our lips met plush and soft. The sensation was beautiful. Our lips moved around frantically following each other. Then he moved from the kiss as I held back.  

"I love you we can secretly date" I just froze and I shook my head a no.

  "No not as this moment, I'm going to need you to leave now please." There's a story behind everything Ethan doesn't know. His dad hates me and one day when his dad use to live with Ethan and his mom, Ethan's dad raped me he also told me if I was to ever date Ethan he would find out and rape me again. He knew my love for Ethan.

  "But I"   "Ethan please! Just trust me we will be together someday just not today it's a bad idea please" I started to hyperventilate as Ethan kissed me on the lips a goodbye.  

"I love you" I could hear the sadness in his voice as he walked out and closed the door.

  I was alone again. I looked at my scars on my arm and it was bad. If Melanie finds out about me and Ethan shell most likely tell his dad. I'll figure this out.....hopefully.  

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