Over rated.

Do you ever feel like your in a glass box? Trapped inside, forced to watch everyone else smile and have fun. I feel that almost everyday. Ever since I met him. Zayns the instantly popular jock. The bad boy ever girl wants. Every girl but me.

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11. Fighting little boys

"Why do you care if I drive you truck?" Zayn pestered,
"Because I love this truck." I stated.
"It's trashed." He state obviously.
"That asshole uncle of mines doing." I hissed, glancing at the bent bumper and running my hand over the indented hood. Remembering when he was mad and took a bat, beating my truck to shit.
"So what are we? Just friends or do I get you back?" He asked making my heart break.
"You don't want me back. After all I've been through I'd be shocked if anyone ever wanted me." I whispered, jumping onto the hood of my truck an looking Zayn in the eye. He placed his hands on either side of my thighs and stepped between my legs.
"I want you." He whispered sexily. The old me would have whispered that I'm his and kissed him but now those words terrify me.
-flashback-
I took a deep breath and jumped out of my truck. Walking to johns door and opening it wide, not bothering to knock.
"Oh, my little may is here." He hissed, coming into view. "My how you've grown." His eyes graze over my body, making me sick to y stomach, they paused at my breasts and thighs. I mentally gaged and felt my hands start to shake. "Come here." He ordered, I walked towards him, basically shutting my body down. Not wanting to ever feel again. He grinned as i stepped a foot away from him, glare painted on my face. His arm snaked around my back and yanked me towards him, my body clashing with his and a sickening sent of aftershave filling my senses.
"Let. Me. Go." I hissed trying to push away, he chuckled and his hand lowered, squeezing my ass. I screamed loudly, he laughed at the same volume and pushed me down on the couch that I had not noticed until now. I bit down on my lip and my button down shirt was ripped open, the buttons popping and my bra becoming exposed.
"I want you." He whispered.
-end of flashback- 
I felt tears escape my eyes without me willing them to.
"Please. Please don't." I begged quietly, lost in my flashback. I slowly closed my eyes, trying to force the memory out of my head, unable to. Zayns hand stroked my arm, trying to calm me. I let out an ear piercing scream, momentarily forgetting its zayns hands and not John. I opened my eyes and Zayn was far away watching my expression.
"I won't hurt you." He stated, begging in his voice. "I swear." He stated. 
"Z-Zayn. I...." I have nothing to say. I'm broken. Destroyed. 
"May. Did he... Rape you?" Zayn spat the word but gave me a terrified look.
"Y-yes... " more tears fell, Zayn hugged me tightly.
"I promise I will never do anything to you with out your permission. I swear." His hands loosed around me and I felt a weight get lifted. 
"I give you permission to kiss me" I whispered, nerves getting the best of me. His lips met mine and fireworks exploded all around us. My fears ceased and I remembered how much I love Zayn Malik.

 

 

Zayn pulled my body to his and I inhaled his sent, shivers flying down my spine.
I pressed my lips to his and gave him permission to sleep with me.

 

"Give me love like her, cause lately I've been waking up alone, paint splatter tear drops on my shirt." Zayn carried on quietly singing give me love as I drifted to the first good sleep I've had in months. 

-dream-
I'm running through a green field, hand and hand with Zayn. He picks me up, spinning me around. We lay in the grass together, kissing quickly. When I turn away and then turn back to him his face is deformed, a mask. It changes into my uncles an he grabs me. He starts to hum give me love as he hits me. Killing me.
-end of dream-
I jumped into a sitting position. Sweating and screaming, Zayn grabbed my arm.
"Shh. It's just a dream" he whispers, pressing his lips to my arm. I flinch away from his touch, terrified.
"D-don't." I beg, scared of him killing me like in my dream.
"Don't what?" He asked, laying me down next to him again.
"Kill me." I whispered, starting to calm again.
"I would never." He promised. That promise helped me feel safe. He pulled me back to him and I closed my eyes. 
"Do you still love me?" I asked, wishing the answer is yes.
"It's late. Go back to sleep." Ouch. I pushed away from him and rolled so I was facing away on the edge of the bed. I felt tears slide from my eyes, I cry way to much, and I squeezed my eyes shut. 

 

I woke up in the same position, as far away from Zayn as possible. I snuck out of bed and walked to the kitchen, grabbing some tea and climbing up to the highest window sill and sitting. Sipping my tea and looking out over the city.
"What are you doing up there?" I nearly fell when Zayn asked. I thought he was sleeping. I took a deep breath, put on my best glare, and turned to him.
"Thinking." I snapped, not leaving any room for conversation.
"Bout what?" He asked in a singsong voice, I rolled my eyes and took a small sip of my tea, suddenly feeling extremely mad. "What's wrong may?" He seems like he's enjoying pissing me off.
"What's wrong is you don't love me anymore." I stated, not realizing I said it until it was too late.  Zayns smirk fell off his face and a scared look came about him. I slid off the window sill and walked past him, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. The gesture doesn't bother me anymore. It's happened so many times.
"I did love you. You were gone for five months, l-love fades." He whispered looking in my eyes.
"It didnt for me." I replied, shoving away from him. "I'm not going to love someone who doesn't love me. Bye." I muttered, my back to him so he can't see the tears falling from my eyes.

 

"Ya. Come in." Niall hugged me tightly as he took my bag.
"Thank you nialler! You the best." I stepped away from his hug and followed him to a room.
"So. Uhm... What happened with Zayn?" Niall asked as he set my bag at the foot of a bed and turned to me.
"He- he doesn't love me." I said it so quietly Niall probably barely heard it.
"Obviously not! He loves Rebecca! His girlfriend!" I felt my heart shatter into a billion little pieces. 
"G-girlfriend?" I slumped down in Nialls arms and took a deep breath. He slept with me while having a girlfriend. I can't EVER trust him again.
"What happened?" Niall had concern in his voice.
"We, we Ah, we." I couldn't find the words to tell Niall.
"You slept together?" He knows.
"Yea." I Felt my whole body Shake as I started sobbing. I love him and he has a girlfriend whom he loves.

 


"Hey Niall.. Is may here?" Zayns voice sent flames of pain through my stomach.  
"No. Why? I thought she was with you?" Niall lied for me, I love that kid!
"No she left. Harry, jack, and jeron all have no clue where she is either, macs moved away, I just hope she's ok. She means the world to me." Zayns such an ass hole.
"She doesn't. You don't love her so stop pretending." Niall snapped.
"SHE IS HERE!?" I heard Zayn slam a fist on a wall
" no. She's not here. She called me while she was driving." Nialls a good liar
"Bullshit! You two are not bestfriends anymore!" Zayns pissing me off more than he should be able to.
"She's told me more about her uncles house than she's told you!" There fighting like little boys.

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