Forever Yours

Danielle and Louis were friends till the end, now they are much more than friends till the end. But for Danielle, which we soon come to call Dani, the end may be coming sooner than originally planned. Will she survive it or die strong? Will Louis stay strong alongside her or will he crumble under the hardships?

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28. The Big Day

listen to white Christmas here

I twitch in my sleep, the stitches along my back are a struggle.  I turn over, Louis wraps an arm around me.

"Merry Christmas Darling." he mumbles, his voice thick.

"Merry Christmas to you too." I sigh.

We sit up and get dressed, we've got people to see and places to be.  I text Jillian who will text Kate and Perrie, Louis calls the boys, together we will corral all the parents and teens into one home and have a "Merry Christmas".  I grab a sweater with the phrase,

"Chocolate Icing makes me run faster!"

and some black skinny jeans.  I pull my hair into a topknot and walk out.  I prance/walk into the kitchen where almost all parental figures are cooking and talking.

"Good morning!" they cheer. Well then, look at all the morning people.

  Louis tramples in, falling over himself.  A black t-shirt and jeans, randomly placed hair, he never looked more rugged in all my days.  We sat down by the tree, criss cross apple sauce, strawberry smoothie and chocolate doughnuts in my hand; hot chocolate and normal glazed doughnuts in his.  Liam and Kate sat on the love seat, two little gifts perfectly wrapped.  They were pleasant surprises.  Zayn and Perrie were seated next to Niall and Jillian on the double couch, Jillian had a prim and proper gift with a golden ribbon in hand, Niall had a gift wrapped in newspaper, green bow placed strategically on top. Zayn and Perrie just put their gifts in bags, cute bags too.  We all sit ready to demolish the multitude of gifts when the doorbell rang.  I hear the door open and my mom sounding confused.  All of us get up and head to the door, Jillian and I raced to it, she undeniably win.  Then we see who's standing before us.  Harry Styles in the flesh.

"You're much taller in person." I blurt.

"And you, Dani, are much more out there in person." He laughs back.  Behind his back he pulls a few gifts.

"You shouldn't have!" my mother says.

"Oh, but I kind of had to, showing up sort of uninvited." he shies away.

We end up back in the living room, getting on with one another.  Louis holding me, just like Niall and Jillian are, like Liam and Kate, like Zayn and Perrie.  Harry grabbed a chair to the side, he seems like a good kid.

"You know what I think all of us, not just the girls, wanna hear?" Perrie speaks up.  "Can you sing Harry?"

"We'll see..." he whispers.

  All of a sudden the boys broke out in the most random songs.  White Christmas, Viva La Vida, some song from an American singer about wanting to marry someone, Cowboys and Angels, some random songs.  Harry can really sing though.  I didn't really get much of a surprise on that note, but the boys' random break out of song, the smirks on their faces.  The boys individual gifts I could see under their seats, Harry too.  Something was up and I was itching to know.

"Okay, present time!" my mother, along with the other mothers ran in.

I was handed mine just like Louis was handed his.  In a big group I saw each one of us open random gifts and smile.  Life is a gift, that is why they call this the present.  I open gift after gift, those identical gifts were still there.  I see everyone think we were done, but then the boys stood up.  Louis and Niall, Liam and Zayn, Harry too, they all got up with the little gifts and sat them in front of their families.  The girls stood behind them.  I was with Louis's sisters, they were so young and giddy with glee.  So cute, so graceful; one day they're going to grow up.  I watch as Johanna opens Louis's gift.  It's a big manila envelope with papers inside, no!  I see a number, an audition number! It's papers and plane tickets to go audition for The X Factor.

"No..." I gasp. Around me people are incredibly happy.  I am too.

"We're trying out as soloists, just in case." Liam clarifies.

"This is big news, but you all know that something else is big, and today, in 3 hours." 3 hours? I wanted to wait, but I knew I couldn't.

"I want you all to be there.  I want to see everyone when I get out." I stated.

"We'll always be there for you." Jillian hugs me.

"Now, let's feast." My dad says.

Everyone fixed plates of ham and mashed potatoes, strawberry milkshakes and orange juice in glasses are strewn on the table.  Random foods are in countless positions all over the table too.  The Christmas radio is on and I'll Be Home For Christmas plays on.  I smile, this Christmas I was given hearts of joy and love.  As they clear the table, my parents and everyone else's grab cameras.  We take countless photos and silly ones are probably in someone's camera roll.  Selfies on random phones.  I think we're gonna stay strong.  I think I should write a book about staying strong, publishing it might be a hassle though.  What a wonderful Christmas I've had.

We pile into all the minivans and family cars as Louis and I buckle up he takes my hand.

"You're gonna pull through.  You're strong enough."

"I will." I smile back at him.

We drive off and head to the hospital.  Louis keeps me laughing as we near the hospital's doors.  The machine and The Machine 2.0 on my trail.  My mom and dad are talking to the doctors as we hang out in the waiting room.  I wave goodbye and hug everyone as they take me away to prep me for the O.R. (Operating Room).  The doctors seem so cheery today, I guess that's a good thing. As my vision starts to fizzle out I see smiles and waves from the waiting room window.  I hear my heart monitor, beep........ beep......... beep......... beep, is that what a heart sounds like?  Or is it maybe just the monitor telling me I'm still alive?

adore you shall be played

The doctors placed Dani under an anesthesia and went to work as a nerve wrecked Louis sat in the waiting room.  His head was filled with thoughts of faith and hope, but also with regret and torture.  He fumbled with his hands and fidgeted as he watched the doctors operate from the window.  There were lights and tools and gadgets and the lot sitting all over as they worked, cutting out pieces of lungs and sewing things together.  The heart monitor a constant relaxer to him that's she's still breathing.

beep....... beep.......... beep....... beep........ beep ..........beep .........beep

"Alive" he thought.

"She's gonna be fine." Liam reassured him.

"What if she isn't" he shakes.

"Then you're going to be the strong one.  You're going to be fine.  We have to believe in her now." he spoke.

As the steady beeping turned into a routine Louis felt a little at ease.

In the Operating Room doctors flood the scene.  Tools at the ready for use.  They cut into her left lung, people wrote as they worked.  They removed a piece of the neoplasm, they wrote more.  They attempted to remove more, her heart stopped and restarted.  They worked again and again, taking little by little until it was completely removed, they wrote more.  Louis stood at the window.  Liam and Zayn were at his side, Harry was talking to Niall and Jillian.

"So how exactly did you meet?" he asked.

"Actually we met through Dani.  I used to admire her smile so I called her Pretty Smile.  She was introduced to me by Dani.  We sort of hit it off." Niall rambled on.

"He's quite the gentleman sometimes." Jillian added.

"Sounds splendid." Harry added.

They talked for a while and then Louis started to hum something.  It was something the others had not heard before.  They weren't sure what it was.  It was a song that Louis and Dani had loved together.

"I'm not perfect but I'm still trying." He hummed along.

The boys sat listening to him, they just sat.  Holding each other, they smiled.  He was singing their song.  He was singing to her, theoretically.  True love at its finest was really something to awe at.  They hadn't found him as deep as he seemed.  She was blind to him now, but before they were seeing.  It sounds corny but it really was something. Something to awe at.

say something will be played and repeat it for the good of the book play it on repeat

*******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Beep..........Beep..........Beep..........beepbeep.........Beep...........Beep .Faltering but stable

Her heart beat was unsteady.  They wrote it down.  They cut out more of the abnormal tissue, they wrote, her heart skipped a few beats.

beep..................................beepbeepbeep................beep.......beep.......beep Unstable

They cut the neoplasm, they removed it.  They sewed her lung back into place.  They waited.

Beep.....Beep..........beep.....beep....beep. Stable

They opened her right lung, this would be harder.  This is where the tube for air was next to the tumor.  They had to be careful.  The people wrote.  As they cut away from the tube, her heart was holding on, but not easily.  She was Unstable.  They cut out the neoplasm and sewed her lung back.  Her heart was reeking havoc.

beepbeepbeepbeep.........................................

Louis was wide-eyed on the other side of the glass.  Was she dying in there?  He stood still.  He did not move.

beep.......beep......beep........beep.....beep

She was okay, but he was not.  The surgeons finished and sewed her open flesh together.  She was unstable.  They put an oxygen tube inside of her, hoping her breathing would stable again.

beepbeepbeepbeepbeep

What does this mean?  Louis ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't die on me please." he whimpered.

"Someone hand me the Defibrillator.  She's going in and out on us!" one of the surgeons screamed.

  People ran around, some ran out of the room.  They ran towards a closet.  They grabbed things Louis and the others hadn't seen before.  They ran back into the room.  The people's pens were flying with words to write.

beep.......................................beep................................beep.........................................beep

"Don't die. Please don't die.  Please!" he whispered.

Liam and Zayn were looking at him worriedly.  The girls were holding each other.  Harry was holding a frightened Niall as Jillian held Perrie.  Kate was squashed between the two girls.  The

The defibrillator was creating a buzzing noise as it turned on, regaining energy.  It buzzed as the doctor yelled a number into the sea of surgeons.  Some dials were pressed as the doctor placed electrodes against her.  He pressed the defibrillator against her chest, shocking her body.

beep.....beep......................beepbeepbeep................................

Another number was yelled, she was shocked again.  Louis was pounding against the window.

"DANI! DANI PLEASE STAY ALIVE.  DANI PLEASE, I LOVE YOU.  STAY WITH ME!" he screamed.  Liam and Zayn were holding him away from the door.  He couldn't enter.

"DANI SAY SOMETHING PLEASE!" he screamed.

beep..............................beep................................beepbeeep........beep....beep

A smaller digit number was yelled as he rubbed together the defibrillator parts.  He shocked her again, her body bouncing off the table.  Nothing.

........................................................

"CPR!  WE HAVE TO USE CPR." a surgeon suggested.

A doctor performed CPR as she slowly died.

beep....................................beep...........................................beep

Louis pounded on the door.  He wasn't giving up so soon.  He opened the door.  Doctors held him back.

"Dani!  My baby! Please!  Live!  Live for me!  I love you Dani!" he cried.

The doctors held him in a chair, where he screamed and thrashed.

"DANI!  NO!  Stay with us!" Jillian ran after Louis.

Niall tried to hold her back, but she was to tough for even him.  She ran in, one of the writers stopped her.  She punched him in the face, as he fell backwards a doctor that wasn't doing anything ran towards her.  She kicked her in the stomach and ran forward.  Security guards held her and took her away.  Niall ran after her.

beep...................................................beep.

The defibrillator was on again.

  One of the guards ran forward to the writer and doctor, "Doctor Palvin, Mr. Fendon.  Are you okay?" he asked.

They didn't respond.

She was dying and Louis was sobbing in a chair that the doctors had left him in.  The others stood in the doorway.  They said nothing.  They did nothing.  The doctors scurry.

"Do any of you have type O Negative blood?" One of the doctors questioned the group.

"I do." Louis says, through tears.

They took Louis to have his blood drawn as the used the shocking machine again.  buzzing and shocks filled the room.  People wrote.

"Do they really have to be writing right now?" Kate asked.

"Darling, they are just doing their jobs." Liam stated.

The others scoffed and sighed.  Dani was so helpless right now and all they did was write about it. Louis and the man came back.  Louis had a cookie and orange juice in his hands and the man set up his blood to be transferred to her.  She flinched under the anesthesia.  They sewed her again until she was a human again, you could say.  Her body looked morbid and her face was whiter than snow.  She wasn't okay anymore.

beep..........................beep.....................beep............beep...................... ..........

Louis ran to her side, the doctors handed him gloves to wear and a mask to put on.  He put them on unwillingly.

"Dani?  Say something.  Say something.  Say something please?  Dani, wake up.  Doll, please, wake up for me.  I love you." he tried everything.  Nothing was working.

beep............................................beep......................................................beep..........beep......beep

The group was holding each other.  Louis bowed his head.  He kissed her tiny lips one last time.  She wasn't his anymore.  She was in a better place, he thought.

"You're the Wendy to my Peter Pan....."

....................................beep.............................beep........................................................beep

"I'm going to miss you, so much Dani.  I'm going to really miss us.  I know you're in a better place, but I'm really gonna miss having you here with me.  We were gonna have little babies and a dog and maybe a cat or two.  We were going to live in this little house out in the suburbs, signing to the radio on the front porch, our noses stuck in a book.  Not literally. God, I'm gonna miss you.  I love you Dani, Danielle, Doll, Darling, Wendy.  I love you." he took the ring box out of his pocket, he kneeled at her side.  "Forever and always. No matter what, I will always love you.

.....................................................................................................................................................

The man standing next to her was no longer a man of joy, but a man of sorrow.  Louis was in a war against himself.  The group was about to leave, he was about to leave.  He turned again.  He was looked at her monitor, one more, for me he thought.

.......................................................beep...........................................................................................

"You guys, wait." he stopped.

...............................beep...................................beep..............................................................

"Louis, it's nothing.  It was probably a false alarm." Liam whispers.

Loud footsteps trampled down the hallway, Jillian was back.  Niall hot on her trail she ran in.

"Oh my god." she slid to the floor, Louis did too.

......................................................................................................................................................

......................................................................................................................................................

...........beep....................................................................................................................................

The writersstand.  The doctors stop.  The group halts.   They each and every one of them stare at the monitor.  Louis and Jillian are at her side.

"Please keep on, Dani." Jillian urged.

"I love you so much." Louis declared.

..........................beep..........................................................................................................beep

"Come on you can do it." Jillian and Louis speak.

"The blood is taking effect." One of the writers states.

Everyone edges closer.

........................................................................................................beep................................

beep........................................................................................................................................

................................................................................................................................................

.................................................................................................................................................

...........................................................................beep..........................................................

"Dani, you can do this!  Come on girl.  We love you." Jillian cried.

"Dani, Dani, you can do it." Louis shook.

...........beep............beep.beep...........beep.......beep......beep

"Louis." she opened her eyes.

Everyone screamed and cried.

"Louis, I love you so much."

"Dani, oh my god, please don't ever do that again.  I love you so so so much Dani."

"You-You're the Peter Pan to my -to my Wendy..." she urged.

"And you're the Wendy to my Peter Pan."

Here eyes were slowly closing.

"Dani, no keep you eyes open.  Dani, no please stay with me."

Her eyes were closing as he held her hand tightly.

"Louis, before I go.  Yes" she stuttered.

"Yes to what?" though he knew the answer.

"Yes, I will marry you." and she closed her eyes.

Her grip on Louis's hand was lighter now.  He was holding a corpse.

...............................................................................................................

.The long and droned beep from the monitor was turned down by the doctor standing by.  She was gone to them now.  A world withour her, a world without love and happiness.  Jillian broke down, sobbing into Niall's chest.  He was crying too, but silently.  Louis was numb, he felt nothing.  He held onto her limp hand.  He placed the ring on her left ring finger.  Liam and Kate hugged each other and Perrie hugged Niall and Jillian.  Liam and Kate joined soon after.  The group of friends held onto each other.  The doctors wiped the sweat fro their brows and bowed their heads.  They each bid a due as they left the room so the group of torn people could say their goodbye's.

It was Zayn first.

"Dani, we're gonna really miss you.  You were the life of every situation.  Have fun up there big girl."

Then Perrie.

"Oh, Dani.  When I met you, you were so shy.  I'm glad I got to see the real you.  I'm glad we could laugh together, shop together, smile with each other.  I'm glad I met you."

Then it was Kate.

"You know, I'm really gonna miss having another Danielle around  here.  You were so much fun.  Everyone's prayin'.  See you in heaven, oh and dance for Jesus if you get the chance."

Then Liam was standing beside her.

"Dani, you were a new piece to the group's puzzle.  We all dearly will miss you.  Please live a happy life up there.  You're in our prayers tonight.  Love you lots."

Then Niall and Jillian sat on opposite sides of her.

"Dani, you were such a help to my life.  I really could never thank you enough.  You're amazing.  Don't eat too much sugar in heaven, and save something for me." he half expected her to say yeah right.  Of course she wouldn't though.

"Dani, Yogurt Chikld, I love you so much.  I've been through so much with you.  I just don't know what I'm going to do now.  I don't know what's next for our writing careers.  You have so much ahead of you, now you'll just continue in a better place.  I don't pray often, but tonight I'm praying for you.  Thank you for being in my life." She half expected a smile from her, but it didn't happen.

Louis took a shaky breath.

"Perrie, let's give them some space." Zayn nudged Perrie.

"Okay." and they left.

"They're gonna need some time." Kate stated.

"Let's go outside darling." and they walked away.

"Nowhere in the world." Niall whispered in Jillian's ear.

"Without you." She sobbed quietly.

They all walked outside, waiting on Louis.

"Okay, this isn't going to be easy.  What's going to happen to 'us'?  What are we facing?  Well, I don't know.  Now I'm engaged.  Now I'm widowed.  Now I don't have the love of my life.  But, you know, it's okay.  Everything is all going to be okay.........oh who am I kidding.  I love you so much Dani.  I love you and now I don't have you.  What is life?  How am I going to sing Show Me How To Burlesque the same way? How am I going to live on without the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Now you've got the ring, now we're engaged.  Now we can be together.  I want to be with you.  Dani, I want to die for you.  I want something or someone to happen so that we can be together again.  Do you think there are heart donors around here?  No, I don't mean it as much as I should.  So anyways, fiancé, I love you.  I love you so much that I really just can't explain what I'm feeling.  I miss you already.  You're the Wendy to my Peter Pan."

He prayed she would answer him.  She of course couldn't.  As he stood he blinked back tears.  He wasn't ready to live like this. He wasn't ready to live without her at his side every step of the way.  As he stood to walk out of the room he took a final look at her heart monitor, praying for her to come back.  He blinked back tears as he walked out, taking one final look at the girl he fell in love with.

.......................................................................................................................................

...................................................................beep......................................................................

.......................................................................................................................................

Danielle Skye Hallaway

1996-2013

Currently Residing

in

Neverland

 

 

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