Forever Yours

Danielle and Louis were friends till the end, now they are much more than friends till the end. But for Danielle, which we soon come to call Dani, the end may be coming sooner than originally planned. Will she survive it or die strong? Will Louis stay strong alongside her or will he crumble under the hardships?

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23. 8 Days Prior and 7 Days Prior

8 Days Prior 

My mom took me to Office Depot today.  She got me a new desk, a comfy cozy chair, a lamp, 2 binders, 4 notebooks, (Sale, there was a major sale).  I can't remember what else, but I kept saying that I don't think I will come around to using them.  She, however, kept insisting.  I wasn't going to bargain around since she wanted to, but hey, school stuff isn't fun.  Louis texted me again, that was all he did lately.  If he wasn't near me he was always there, by text, call, FaceTime, emailing.  Whatever there was, he was on it to get to me.  I feel bad for him, his girlfriend is probably going to die.  I'm that girl, I'm more than likely going to die.  I think it would be best if he just stopped playing boyfriend and let me find him someone who wouldn't die.  Someone I know isn't going to become ill and have a surgery where there is no success rate.  I think maybe he needs someone he can love and not feel like a father, a doctor, a brother, a best friend, a protective figure, around.  I'm going to die, I accept my fate, why won't he.  Later on, after I got home.  I found him and Dad talking in the kitchen.  I didn't look at Lou.  I didn't want to send signals that I wanted to see him.  I'm still secretly plotting a new girlfriend, a new relationship life.  I spent the day on FaceTime, be it with Zayn, Liam, Harry (I got his number from Josh, I was going to find out if we could be friends, I was gonna dig for this guy.  I may need him in the future.), Jillian.  Whoever it may be I was FaceTiming them.  I even talked to Louis's mother.  I get the privilege of calling her Johanna now.  I feel weird talking to her about finding someone for him.  Every here and there she got she would tell me he really does love me.  I would shake my head, or face the floor, stating that I might just die in that surgery room and I want him to be with someone who won't.  I would tell her this and then she would shake her head and tell me about how for the past few years he would talk about how he really liked, and eventually loved, me and how he never stopped talking of me, so highly she would add, how she never got tired of hearing my name.  She even told me to stick around for as long as humanly possible, I'm the closest thing to Daughter-in-law she had, and she liked me.  I want the best for Louis, I just don't think that's me.  We eventually hung up and I got a FaceTime from Anderson, The Ginger of our school.  Don't get me wrong, there are 4 gingers in my school, but if you say ginger people think of Anderson.  I accepted it and I had just plugged in the machine 2.0.  Not the cutest for the top of the school, but I'm going to die soon and so, I don't care.

  He took one look at me and his face changed from preppy to petty, "You still in a car seat Dani?" of course he would say something like that.  Ever since one of our friends, my acquaintance, had figured out that fact in 8th grade, he wouldn't leave it alone.

  "Nope, sitting shotgun now man." I say sarcastically.  I roll my eyes and fix my tubes real quick.

"What are those, Cannula tubes?"  of course he of all people would know what these were, in 8th grade he read everything I wrote, my private works anyhow, in French I might add.  I wrote in French because I thought no one could read anything that way.  But Ginger over here did. 

"Why yes, but it regulates my breathing better than a cannula.  It's what I call 'the machine 2.0'.''.  I state.

"Remember back in 9th year when you gained around 6 pounds and you just bolted to me?  You almost fainted in the hallway from excitement, I myself was ready to catch you.  That Louis kid was there with a water the second you showed any signs of dizziness.  Louis, I feel like, has a thing for you." he interrogates.

"Yeah, I remember that," but I really can't remember that, "he does though.  We are together at the moment.  I don't think I'm gonna make it out of the surgery room to get back to him though." I add.

"Oh, everyone still needs the pip squeak.  Even though you've grown since then.  5'9'' and still growing I've heard."  he adds.

The conversation rolls on, but he kept going back to old times.  Almost like he thought I would die too.  I can't blame him, death is approaching.  I might not want it, but I'm accepting my fate.

7 Days Prior

I woke up feeling like I was going to puke.  Louis wasn't there, I had insisted on him moving back to his house.  I wasn't home alone and I didn't need a roommate I had persuaded him.  Those reasons weren't the only ones though.  Part of me wants him to stay and the other wants him to go away and find a girl that will stay alive long enough for him to love her.  He left of course, but man did he put up a fight.  He whined and begged to stay at least until the surgery was over, but I insisted on him going home.  There was much more room now that his bed was gone, but he left the dresser.  It had some random t-shirts inside, too big for me to wear regularly though.  I'd sleep in them maybe.  I held my own hair back and puked into the toilet, flushing for ages.  After I had gotten cleaned up I headed downstairs where people were again.  There were only a few people though.  It was the girls.  Zayn and Niall had tagged along.  I didn't mind this crowd, if I spilled anything Niall would only tell Jillian and she was here, Zayn wouldn't say anything either. 

"Guys, I have to say something again." I told them what I wanted to do, they didn't disagree. 

They did however, tell me that Louis would always love me.  I didn't want to believe it, but deep down I guess I always will.  Not many people would like me, but no one really had to if I was to die soon.  7 more days, 7 more days... We watched Peter Pan and ate popcorn.  We afterwards went to the mall.  Niall would be silly in the girls stores, putting on dorky glasses and suspenders then dancing around or something like that.  Zayn was wearing not fake glasses, but real ones.  I have to admit, he looked good.  Perrie was smitten, just looking at them made me sigh.  Literally sigh from the smiles and laughter they shared, oop there I go, sighing.  Niall and Jillian laughed the entirety of the time.  Then they ate, then they laughed again.  D-I mean Kate and Eleanor were talking to me, about the little plan mostly.  They gave advice and little tips here and there.  Eleanor looked disappointed, but if I were in her shoes, I would be disappointed too.  Kate was sweet, advice giving and wise.  She was the womanly version of Liam, Mommy of The Group,  Sister of all of us.  The big sister really.  When we stopped for lunch we ate at Five Guys, my favourite.  I devoured the burger in under a minute.  The good things have a price to pay, I was tired for the rest of the day, my arm hurt too.  I had carried the machine 2.0 the entire time.  Later all of us had rented little wheelchair driving things, almost like cars.  Too many bags, but so many people.  Sooner there were a pack of seven driving unsafely around The Mall.  Yes, that is it's name.  After the fun, we went home.  Kate and Jillian had called the rest of the gang, sleepover for tonight.  I want to be with Louis before I find someone for him to be with.  Though movies and pizza and mattresses in the living room were how we spent the night, Louis and I went onto the roof to talk.  I was  going to tell him. 

"Louis, darling.  I only want for you to be happy." he was so unhappy after I had told him what I wanted to do.

"Then let me be with you." he tried.

"But, I'm going to die.  I don't want you to never love again because I left you.  You know I still want to be with you.  I just want you to live on without remorse." I explained.

"Live on without re- really?  I will mourn your death on it's anniversary for years and years after you die.  When you're 93!  I want to be with you!  No one else can compare, you are lovely no matter how long it will take you to get over this."   he tried once again.

"Louis, you need someone who will not die in a surgery of no success rate.  Sweetheart, I need you to be strong." I pestered him.

"Doll, I don't want to be with anyone but you!  You cannot make me unlove you.  Is that even a word?  I cannot take back my love for you."

"Love is a big word, so is forever." 

"And do you see where we are?  On a roof yes, but we have gone so far together.  I'm the Peter Pan to your Wendy." with that he had broken me.

"I'm supposed to be the Wendy to your Peter Pan, but Wendy eventually leaves Peter Pan.  She leaves Neverland after a while.  She flies away, leaving him.  I'm going to leave you!  I have to some time or another.  I'm leaving the moment they take me into the surgery.  You won't see me come out of those doors after I step into them.  I won't survive a surgery no on has ever lived through, wait hold that thought, NO ONE ELSE HAS HAD THE SURGERY!" I scream.

"I KNOW THAT DANIELLE!  No one has had the surgery, no one is as perfect and unique as you to have to do this.  You are strong, you are just setting down a mask of strength at the moment.  You are coming out of that surgery room healthy and my baby girl whether you believe it or not." he said that.  He makes it hard to breath anyway, but this life I'm living makes it a double meaning.

  It was getting harder on my lungs to breath, I was gasping for air.  I was at the point where I think tears are supposed to flow, but they didn't.  Louis picked me up, bridal style, and walked into the living room.  I was on my feet again, but he wouldn't release me for the world.  I guess he thought I was going to stay alive longer than even I believed.  I was going to leave earth and trade it for either heaven or hell, but I wasn't leaving peacefully.  He needed to get that through his head.  But, knowing the Louis that I know, he wouldn't give up until he won the long run.  Even if that meant going with me.  He would watch my surgery from the seat next to the operation if he could.  I love him, I truly do, but I'm going to die and I can't leave him like this.  It would crush him, but it's going to happen whether he liked it or not.

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