Forever Yours

Danielle and Louis were friends till the end, now they are much more than friends till the end. But for Danielle, which we soon come to call Dani, the end may be coming sooner than originally planned. Will she survive it or die strong? Will Louis stay strong alongside her or will he crumble under the hardships?

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21. 12 Days Prior and 11 Days Prior

12 Days Prior

I wake up screaming, the noise I make is one of sobs.  I had another nightmare. 

Louis throws himself out of his bed and onto the floor, making his way to my bed, the machine trailing behind him. "Dani, it's okay.  You're alright, nothing happened." he hugs me, I breathe in his scent, he smells like the earth and roses.

  Do not ask me how he smells like roses, he simply smells like roses. I have learned to place that scent on safety.  I hold him tightly as he ties the machine tubes to my nose. The machine makes it's soft buzzing sound, it looks different from the normal one.  Dr. Royce gave me a new machine to help regulate my breathing, I'm calling it "the machine 2.0". 2.0 takes over my respiratory system's flow as I let it regulate my breathing.  I feel like it's a new barrier in between Louis and I.

"Do you want to talk about it." he asks me, calm seems like an understatement.

"No, but I have to...right?" I respond, my voice hoarse from screaming.

"It's not a requirement, but I would like to know what happened.  Your voice is very attractive when it sounds like this." the little compliment at the end makes me smirk a little.

"Alright then.  You were outside the surgery room, waiting for me.  I was in the surgery, they were having difficulties with removing the neo-thingies.  I was like, spazzing out.  Then, I flat lined.   Louis it was so scary, seeing my own body, motionless." I sobbed into his chest again.  The roses brought me to comfort.

"Do you have a happy place?" I was confused by his question.

"A happy place?" I ask.

"A happy place.  It's a place in your dreams where you can go to calm yourself down.  I used to have one.  Back when, you know." he looked down, almost like he was pained. "Now the happy place is real." I blushed, I hugged him.

"Not all my happy places can be real life.  Not everything can be the way we want it." I take his hand in mine. "But, in this life, I wouldn't have it any other way." I kiss him softly.

I feel like I'm preparing myself for losing him.  I feel like I'm becoming sophisticated so that, if I do leave, he won't have to miss me as much.  That's wrong though, he will miss me as much as I will miss him.  I close my eyes as he sings, "Isn't she lovely, Isn't she wonderful, Isn't she  precious. Less than one minute old, and I never thought, with love we be making one as lovely as she.  Isn't she lovely..." the singing drifted off as I fell into another sleep.

I spend the day doing what people call "lounging".  I don't like lounging, I feel like a couch potato.  I never liked potatoes.  I wanted to do something, but every single time I stood up to do something I felt week.  2.0 is taking over my life more rather my breathing.  Mom came in with friends every once and a while.  I was waiting for Liam to come by, or someone with good advice.  Danielle, Kate I mean, would be wonderful to be here now.]

 Liam came in later, around 2 or 3 I think.  We talked, he asked the same questions.  "How are you feeling?"  "For someone to be having such dangerous things in her body, she can still look lovely all the time." "What are you doing?" "I feel like that isn't positively induced." I answer everything with sarcasm, pride, wisdom seldom.

  Liam was always there when I needed someone wise.  I wonder if he knows how vital he is to the group, to me.  He's like a dad, a brother, and a best friend all in one.  Later, after he  left, I found a new show on the t.v..  It was called Castle, it's about some writer who takes interest in a detective so he gets permission the mayor.  They live in New York, his daughter and mother are ginger. hash tag total Instagram moment.  There is a ginger at my school, I haven't been to school in 2 months, I just realized that.  Castle gets to work alongside the detective, Beckett, and they end up dating and stuff.  I feel like it's a great show too.

11 Days Prior

I woke up at 6:30 in the morning.  Everyone else was asleep, I walked over to Louis's bed and plugged in 2.0.  I pulled on some shorts and wrapped a blanket over me.  I made it to the back porch without making too much noise.  I just literally sat on the back porch for the next 2 hours until people woke up.  Louis found me on the back porch.  He looked worried and sleep deprived.  I couldn't tell you why though, he was deep asleep when I grabbed the machine 2.0.  He sat down without saying anything.  Soon everyone was on the back porch, legit everyone.  Jillian and Niall, Liam and Kate, Zayn and Perrie, Mom and Dad, even Josh and Eleanor eventually found their way to my back porch.  They brought pastries, Eleanor and Josh, sugar cookies and cinnamon rolls.  They were still warm, so to compensate the weather.  After being surrounded in a blanket of silence we all found our way back inside, parents in the kitchen chatting we presumed and the group in the living room.  Josh and Eleanor had jumped into a story about their new friend Harry, from what I heard Harry seemed like a nice lad.  Josh's phone started ringing, the familiar FaceTime ring was playing.  You could guess who was on the phone before us, Harry himself.  He looked short and had big dimples, emerald green eyes and dark brown curly hair.  He sounded like he was from Cheshire or somewhere around there...what I have relatives! After the call ended we just sat around and watched movies for the rest of the time, until lunch anyhow.  I got to choose what we ate today too, macaroni and cheese.  For the first time in 7 years i didn't get to help Mom make it.  I feel like a beacon, wherever i go people are around me.  In front, behind, to the left or right of me, there are people.  We ate and the parents just talked.

 I wasn't listening, but i think i heard my name amongst the conversation, "What?" I say, mouth full of food.

"Karen just asked when the surgery was." my Mom responds.

 "Oh, when is that?" i ask again.

 "It's on the 9th.  That's 11 days away sweetheart." my Dad says.

 I look at Louis, he's so skittish now a days.  I reach towards him, he flinches.

 "S-sorry." he whispers.

 "It's okay, but i should be like you right now, we should be in each other's shoes." I whisper back.  We just sat there, in complete silence.

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