{1D} Remember to smile {One Shot}

Niall and Amber had been together for almost a year, when Amber decides that this is the end. Niall finds a letter on the table as soon as he enters their apartment the same day as he comes home from tour. But what does the letter say? And why is the apartment empty, and no happy Amber to jump into Nialls arms, as soon as he enters the door? Read it in Remember to smile One Shot!

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2. "Hi Niall"

Niall entered the living room still wondering why Amber did come running into his arms. Niall had only been at the welcome home party a couple of minuttes because Amber wasn't there. Thats when he decided to look for her in their aparment, but she wasn't there either. He took a deep breath, and saw the note on the table. He picked up the note and started reading.

 

"Hi Niall. You probably just got home from tour. You’ve done well. I saw the one in Ireland the other day. Yep I was there. You didn’t see me though. But I truly understand. I left before you came backstage. I love seeing the tears in your eyes when your fans scream louder when your solo is on in little things. I love how you never change. How you still act like a 5 year old. " 

Niall smiled and continued reading.

"I chatted a little with Danielle, who was excited to see Liam again. The tears in her eyes, of happiness. Shes such a lovely person. I’ll miss that. I know what you think “miss that?”, and I’ll get to that later.

Do you remember when we first met? How I bumped into you, and how my laugh made you smile, as you’ve told me thousand times? That day was the best day of my life. I don’t remember how it happen, or where, but I remember the feeling of love at first sight which I’ve never believed in. I clearly remember our first date. How all the complimets you gave me, made me weak in my knees, how you were to shy to kiss me. How we made people mad cuz we had so much fun. I miss that time though. And then on our 6th date where I got that tattoo? How you hold my hand and how you promised me to help me with my list? You remember? The "100 things I want to do before I die " list you wanted to help me with so bad? Yeah I already know one thing that is impossible on that list. I didn't realise it until now though. " 

Niall clearly remembered. They did at least 50 things on that list together. He really enjoyed it. He just never told her.

"I’ve decided that im gonna tell you the story of my life, well at least all the things you don't know about me. 

It started in 6th grade when I started on a new school. I was bullied on the old one. I’ve never told you that huh? Well I was bullied because of my weight. I didn’t fit in either. I was too weird as they always told me. I know that’s what you like about me, but back then it took hard on me. They always pulled my hair, told me I was fat, and told me to go back to “Wierdoland” as they called it. I know it sounds stupid, but back then, it meant something real bad. Well I started in this new school, and I liked the first two weeks. I got a friend who wanted me on her soccer-team, which was big for a new student as me. I got the ball from a “popular” guy, which no one had ever done, so already there my new “friend” didn’t like me. I was shorthaired back then, and the boys said that a girl should have long hair, so they said I was one of the boys. I started having a crush on one of the boys. He had a girlfriend though, but I wasn’t jealous until I’ve got told that he liked me too. Well he did but still he kissed his girlfriend infront of me. He then asked me to be his best friend and I said yes. We were “best friends “ for two years.

Then in 8th grade I found out that all this time we were best friends he just wanted to have sex with me. I didn’t do it though, but he kissed me and made me feel special for once. If you like me, always have felt like trash, you feel like a diamond when someone you like kisses you. Well I was happy for a couple of weeks until I found out he wrote, kissed , and were best friends with other girl too. It broke my heart. I let everyone out. I started starving myself and started cutting. No one knew though. Not even my parents. As if they care. You know they are on drugs, and how they have never been there for me. Well I got older, and something changed me. You. You came into my life, and I could not be more thankful. You made me feel beautiful for once, you make me smile, you make me feel comfortable. But its just not enough. While you’ve been on tour, my life has turned upside down, I’ve been feeling down lately, and not even the thought of you being home soon is helping me.

And now we’re back at the beginning. The reason why I’m not in our apartment with you right now is that I’m gone. I’m not gone like on a trip. But I’m right above you. I’m watching you forever and I’m with you to every concert. I will always be with you, wherever you go. And I hope you won’t forget me. 

I talked to Eleanor, Perrie, and Danielle. They say I should be there at the welcome home party, but I can’t. By that time I should be right in front of the train you sat in on your way home to this apartment. I’m sorry for not ever telling you there was something wrong. But I’m not perfect enough for you. You deserve a girl who can be there for you, and make you happy, but I couldn’t do that the last month we had together before you had to go on tour,  I’m sorry for the fight I started. I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m sorry for not calling you back. I’m sorry for not listening to you when you closed the laptop so I wouldn't cry over hate. I got a tattoo for you yesterday, Its four birds. They remind me of the song you always sings in the  shower. "Birds flying high, you know how I feel". I had your t-shirt on, it helped me not crying. Not that it hurted, but the thought of not kissing you when you get home. The thought of guilt. I didn't say goodbye to you back when tour started. I stayed at my friends house. I'm pretty sure it made you mad. And im sorry for that. I just couldn't look you in the eyes after our fight. Just so you know it. I know you were not cheating on me with that irish model. I was just to tired and mad to see the truth. Im sorry for pushing you away from me, when all I really needed was a hug. I'm not worth it.

No one made me do this. I decided that this was the end. It had to stop at one point. Tell Eleanor , Perrie , Danielle and the boys I love them, and I wish I could thank them for all our memories. I love you of all my heart Niall. Remember one thing. Remember to smile.

- Amber x"

A tear fell down Nialls cheek, and seconds later he threw the letter on the floor, and screamed of the top of his lungs. She couldn't be gone! Why had she never told anything. He could have helped her. He started feeling guilt and looked around. Niall loved Amber of all his heart, and he couldn't imagine a day more without her. Every day on tour he daydreamed about her. He had been counting the days till he could see her again. But he this was to much. He walked into the kitchen and looked in the cupboard above him. He took the sleeping pills and filled his hand with them. "Im coming baby" he whispered.

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