Over Again

I'm Miranda, an art colledge student, living in London with a fairly average lifestyle. That is, until I meet a few colourful characters that pull me from the streets into the limelight where unfortunately, I will never ever be forgotten.

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29. Trust

A/N DO NOT IGNORE AND PROCEED TO READING THE UPDATE!!!! First of all, I posted this story on Wattpad and I haven’t really had a response yet so any of you Wattpad peeps could you check out my page>>>>>> buttonsgibbons21 CHECK IT OUT PLEASEEEE?!:) oh and I would also like to say THANKYOU SO MUCH….this movella has reached 1000 views and that is ALOTTA people!!!! So thankyou very much and I love you guys so please keep up with the comments because I love feedback:) so all I can say now is…ENJOY THE LATEST UPDATE AND ILYSM!!!! xXx

I wake up the next morning with severe head pains, I check the quilt beside me and the floor to find Harry has disappeared. He insisted on staying last night just to make sure I was okay but I don’t think I will ever be. There are people out there who are going through hell of a lot worse but somehow I am so numb that I don’t really give a crap because I have a right to feel sorry for myself and this is how I’m going to do it…quietly and peacefully so no-one will notice. I drag my sorry ass out of bed and into the tiny living-room/kitchen. Katie’s red hair can be seen as she messes around the kitchen with pots and pans, I resist rolling my eyes and just plop myself down on the couch. Suddenly, a tall muscular guy walks into the room, grinning at me as he passes through,

“Hey.”

I can't deny that his morning voice is hot, but right now all I can think about is the painful words the blond from yesterday drilled into my head as they constantly repeat around and around in my head along with the painful realization that Calum may never remember me and what if he does? Harry has so blatantly reminded me of my permanent feelings for him so often that now I constantly wonder what if? Will Calum and I resume our relationship like nothing happened? Or will he give up on me after losing his feelings?

A million different scenarios run through my head as I tap my foot thoughtfully on the coffee table. I nod my head in the guy’s direction before he walks off into the kitchen to meet Katie. That muscular guy, he’s Katie’s co-worker. Since all my drama has started out and the whole ‘Katie and Harry’ thing ended, she found a new job as a barista and decided to randomly start hooking up with her hot single co-worker. I must admit, he isn’t too bad on the eyes but I am in no place to be thinking stuff like that.

After Harry and I came home last night…Katie, Harry, Tom and I sat down over cups of tea and just discussed life. Katie seemed very apologetic over my current situation and claimed that the latest magazines and online blogs only knew of the crash and Luke and Calum being in hospital. She said that nothing was mentioned of Calum’s slight memory loss. Katie told us how she met Tom and how much they have grown to like each other, it seemed like Katie was genuinely happy and I actually think she’s considering settling down for once. I know there’s a snowball chance in hell that she’ll give up the partying life but maybe, just maybe, she will introduce Tom into her world and share it with him instead of moving onto another toy boy. It seemed like Katie has changed as a person, a lot this year actually but I’m happy because now she has realized who she really is, even through all the pain she has caused me, I am still happy for her.

I am snapped out of my reverie as Tom and Katie enter the room, Katie walking ahead of Tom holding two plates of pancakes in her hands with a triumphant smile on her face revealing her pearly white straight teeth. She walks in front of me and places one in front of me before taking a seat beside me and giving me a cheerful smile.

“Dig in Miranda!”

Tom seats himself in the armchair with his own plate of pancakes and gives me a cheerful smile yet his eyes tell me otherwise, which are looking at me with pity.

“Thanks Katie.”

I figure she deserves a bit of kindness for all the trouble she has gone to, even though I haven’t thought twice about eating anything. I don’t think I could stomach anything right now. I raise myself off of the couch, shooting Katie and Tom an agonizing smile before escaping to the kitchen where I pour myself a glass of water. I take a big gulp of it letting the cool liquid hydrate my dry throat before sighing and leaning against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. My head hurts but the pain isn’t a scratch of the pain I feel in my heart, it’s nothing medical just heart-breaking. After getting lost in thought for far too long, I drag my feet back to the living-room where Katie will be wondering where I’ve gone. Since last night, she has been non-stop worrying about me and my condition, probably worried I’ll take an over-dose or something…but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did anyways. I find Katie has nibbled some of her pancakes while absentmindedly making small awkward talk with Tom, that’s probably because of my presence; I’m making things awkward for them. I slowly enter and both pairs of eyes land on my pained expression but I’m quick to jump in and flicker it to one of mutual expression. I leave my poker face on and thankfully Tom and Katie don’t see through my mask. Finally, Katie and her ‘guest’ finish their breakfast and begin to bring their dirty dishes to the kitchen. Tom goes straight away but as Katie is passing, she notices my un-touched food and scowls. She sets her plate down beside mine and sits back down beside me taking her manicured hands in mine. 

“Look, Miranda I’m worried about you, me and everyone else. It’s not healthy what you’re doing, you need to eat and try and move on as best as you can. I’m sorry I haven’t really been kind to you lately but I realized all my mistakes when I met Tom and he’s helping me undo all my mistakes. I have already apologised to Harry and the boys so now it’s your turn, I’m sorry Miranda. But right now you need to eat, have a shower, get dressed and go meet Harry. He will take care of you, I promise.”

Katie sits there gazing into my eyes pleadingly, I nod quietly for I’m at loss for words right now. I cannot believe she is apologising, I was so positive that she had completely changed but it is starting to seem like she was just going through a rough patch, whatever it is- I’m just glad she met Tom so he will help her. It’s good to have someone to help, and Harry is that person for me but to be brutally honest, I don’t need or want help right now. So that’s how I tell Katie,

“Katie, I know you’re trying to help and all but…I don’t really feel like any of that right now. I just need to…chill for a bit.”

She nods but her eyes tell me the opposite as they look unconvinced. I sigh and pull my hands out of hers before wrapping the comforter around me and cuddling into the soft purple fur. Katie sighs and stands up, before momentarily patting my shoulder.

“Tell me if you need anything, ok?”

I nod and wait until she leaves before sighing heavily and slumping further into the rugged couch. After approximately an hour, Katie reluctantly leaves the apartment with Tom for shopping. I convince Katie to leave but she only does so slowly, looking back sadly as she closes the door. I almost feel a little pang of happiness when they leave but it is quickly replaced by my permanent worry. It’s almost like at the ice rink when I felt happy and that blonde girl had to make my world crash down even more with her horrid insults, even though they were true. That’s why I’m not allowing myself the pleasure of true happiness again, so the best thing to do is shut people out. Including Harry, who has brought it on himself to make me feel better. Suddenly there’s a knock on my door, resulting in me jumping out of my skin with fright. I sigh heavily once again; I’ve made quite a regular pattern of it lately. I slowly rise from the couch while stretching my bones, not even bothering to check if I look ok. Katie hasn’t left ten minutes and she’s already back, must have forgotten her purse or something. I swing open the door and begin my journey back to the couch when the person’s voice stops me; I was so sure it was Katie.

“Hey how are you today?”

I spin around to face Harry suddenly, shock written all over my face. I stutter a little bit, my mouth open as my mind fails to process words.

“What are you doing here?”

He shoves his hands in his front pockets as his gaze falls to the floor; he slowly looks back up at me as he remains standing outside.

“I came here to see if you were alright.”

Realization dawns on me and I shake my head in fury, my tone is cold when I reply,

“Katie sent you.”

I meant for it as a question but it’s more of a statement because we both know the truth. Katie sent Harry because she was leaving me on my own. Harry stares at me with his mouth open, his lips begin to twitch as he finds words but he gives up in trying. I continue on, interrupting his silence.

“I’m not a bloody child who needs babysitting! Or a suicidal depression case you know! I’m human! Am I not allowed time alone to grieve?!”

My voice rises as I rant but Harry remains calm as he listens to me, he holds his hands up in surrender and smirks.

“I know I know, am I not allowed to visit you anymore? Because that would truly be a dreadful nightmare.”

My eyes narrow although my lips twitch upwards into a smile, Harry steps into my apartment kicking the door closed with his foot. The smirk still plastered to his face and he walks towards me until our chests are almost touching, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear before a devilish smile replaces his smirk. An involuntary gasp escapes my lips as his hands falls to holds my cheek, the other hand supporting my waist, oh lord help me. 

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