Over Again

I'm Miranda, an art colledge student, living in London with a fairly average lifestyle. That is, until I meet a few colourful characters that pull me from the streets into the limelight where unfortunately, I will never ever be forgotten.


5. Chapter Five

I took the subway in a daze, trying to rethink all my previous actions. Damn! I really did learn to have sass from Louis! I think he'd be proud if he witnessed that but on the otherhand, what must Harry be thinking right now? I don't want him to hate me, hell no! I still have feelings for him, at least I admit it! It hurts to think about all the times he has gone and hopped into hot stranger's hotubs and had flings. I'm dangerously close to breaking down in tears right now. I feel my lower lip quiver as my grip automatically tightens around the leather strap. I hop off at my stop and walk back to my flat, silently thinking about how I could of messed up any kind of possible chance of us getting back together.

Once safely in the door of mine and Katie's flat, I crumple to the floor and burst out crying, sobbing into my sore and tired hands. I lay crumpled like a discarded tissue on the soft beige carpet to our small hall where the stairs are until Katie comes and helps me to the livingroom where she sits me on the couch. She dissapears for awhile before returning with a warm cup of tea, she tears apart my hands which are rung together and she places the cup in my hands, pulling my hands together hard so I won't frop the cup. I place the mug on our coffee table and lay back on the couch, folding my legs and leaning back into the back of the couch as far as it will go. Katie sits at the other end of the couch holding her own cup of tea whilst biting her nails. I rub my tired eyes as she continues to bite her nails worriedly, she huffs and claps her hands before sitting up and turning to me,

Whats wrong Randy? Did someone say something about your art?

I stare at the white ceiling, wanting nothing more than for her to leave me be, but there's also a part of me that wants her to stay and talk to me. The thing is, Katie knows the whole story about Harry but what she doesn't know is that I'm still crazy for him, after our last talk over two tubs of Ben and Jerrys I convinced her that I don't feel anything for him anymore but I do, I feel the world for him. I shake my head and bow it down to eye level with a mournfull looking Katie.

I sold my painting, are you happy?

Her face lightens up once the words are said, they hang in the air, the tension in this room could easily be cut with a butter knife. She smiles and sits up before moving closer to me and holding both of her hands wrapped around mine. I gulp loudly and try and stop the tears, that was something Harry always did when he was talking to me or wanted something. How could I be so stupid?! Of course he sin't going to take me back, look at his fling with Caroline Flack, nothing happened after it was over?! I suppose he begged Taylor for forgivness? Katie's mouth is moving but I can't hear the words coming out, I try to listen harder,

Doesn't this prove you're over him?! I knew you could do it!

I shake my head back and forth repeatedly, tears running full speed down my face. She frowns, dragging her perfectly shaped eyebrows down to create dark shadows over her brown eyes, she pouts and holds me at arms length.

Miranda? What are you saying?

Her voice is slow and cautious, she knows what I'm like in these situations that one wrong move and I crack. When I tried to breakup with Harry it didn't end well, especially considering that we both have anger issues.

Day of breakup.

I pull out of the underground carpark and onto the busy streets of London, I sigh as I grip the steering wheel a little too hard, causing my knuckles to crack in disagreement. I shake my head angrily, I planned to go shopping for new clothes today but Harry has the paps after me again, he's really been getting on my nerves lately and right now, the thing thats on my mind isn't the gentleless of topics.  I have been thinking alot about it lately and I really need my own space, I mean yeah.....I think we're in love but this isn't the kind of life I'm suited for. I'm the quiet unique outcast that doesn't bother anyone else so why have I suddenly been dragged into this? I mean, the hate doesn't bother me its just the fact I can't have a life anymore. Its not like I can go to the girls about it either, you see........everytime I try and tell somebody about this, they tell me its fine. The thing is, Danielle and Eleanor clearly don't like me, they have always left me out and put me at the side, they even ditched me shopping once. When I tried telling Harry he just scoffed and told me I'm paranoid, I brought it up so much that he confided in Louis and Louis said I'm being immature and looking for attention.

I mean, maybe I am but when I told them about the girls ditching me shopping they said I probably walked off . Perrie is lovely, she's really nice but its even harder to bond with her because A: Zayns always dragging her off on me because they're so madly in love, I know cute? and B: She's famous too and doesn't really understand it from my point of view.

I once asked her about the whole Danielle and Eleanor problem and she just snorted and told me not to worry about them, she musn't get along with them either. I have also brought up with her how hard it is to get around like today and she told me I'll get used to it along with the hate. I don't really feel like I'm belonging here anymore I mean, everyone is lovely but I hate the fame, it gets to my head. I slow down as the traffic light changes from amber to red. I tap my fingers about on the steering wheel and glance at the driver next to me, I look away when I realise there's a teenager gaping at me, they seriously bug me sometimes. I've been in public in serious stressing moments and thats when they all decide to come asking for autographs, I quickly speed away when the light turns green.

I run through my thoughts again, I wanted to go to Forever 21 today and check out the new Spring collection but I couldn't even get in, just crazy fans everywhere, so sickening! The worst thing is, when I drove in today I took Harry's bright white SUV that is spotted by Directioners miles away. I pull into Harry's massive drive and hop out, angrily pulling along the voer-expensive desinger hangbag Harry makes me carry round, how do girls think lugging around the carcass of an alligator is attractive? I don't need one of these stupid designer handbags, I love my slingover one that Harry made me take off, he's so controlling sometimes. I growl and lug through the massive desinger bag, trying to find my keys. These stupid bags have so many zips and pockets it so confusing sometimes. I eventually find them and just when I'm about to unlock the door it is swung open to reveal a unhappy looking Harry. I pull back a little from the doorstep and frown at him, he glares at me, what the hell? He's been acting weird all morning,

You just left.

I shake my head and sigh, rolling my eyes as I push past him and go inside, I moved in here with him along with the promise that I can still attend colledge and support myself, he's still working on buying me a studio but I keep refusing. He's been weird all morning, maybe he knows what I'm thinking about? Maybe he thinks the same? I jump at the sound of his deep voice,

Get ready fast, we have lunch with Louis, Liam and the girls.

I sigh at the mention of the little group, I love Liam and Louis, I really do but when Harry brought up the whole situation, Louis immediatly took Eleanor's side and called me a bitch, which was totally uncalled for. I wasn't even meant to hear, I just eavesdropped on Harry's conversation over the phone with him, the worst thing is is that Harry never even told me, he just twisted Louis' words to make them sound less harsh but the damage has been done. I can never look at Louis the same anymore. I turn around sharply and return his glare, the one thing about our relationship is that I don't let him walk all over me.


My voice is flat and dead, speaking through my clenched teeth. He glares at me suspiciously before turning on his heel and walking out the door, he stops at the doro and turns to me expectantly but still being thick.


He asks crossing his arms imaptiently, I reply coolly,

Well what?

He points to the door and I parade over, swaying my hips and walk out the door not even bothering to put up a happy charade for the photographers who are snapping pics of our little disagreement from the closed gates. I get into the passenger seat and shut my eyes for the trip to lunch.

We pull up at some canteen place and Harry jumps out and runs to the other side of the SUV before actually picking me up out of my seat and setting me down on the ground. He must understand I hate the paps as he whispers in my ear,


I ignore him and blink rapidly as the paps in front of me take shots with their blinding flashes, he wraps a guiding arm around my waist and I strut his favourite walk, swaying my hips. He can't hold it in any longer and smacks my butt, making me jump with giddyness, he chuckles and whispers into my ear, his hot breath sending tingles down my neck,

You know I can't stay mad at you for long.

Thats the thing about our relationship, we fight and say we hate each other and throw stuff but then we go away for an hour and come back we're in love again. He guides me into the lunch place while blocking both of our faces, I look down and glance at my screen. The paps wouldn't have known we were going to be here unless someone told them because I check Harry's twitter and he didn't say anything. I check Louis' and there's nothing, I then mentally smakc myself, of course the two little groupies tweeted about their fab lunch with their One Direction boyfriends!  I check Eleanor's page and see that she even tagged Liam, Danielle, Louis and the name of the lunch place too. Harry holds the door for me and we both burst into the warm foodcourt. The far right corner is cut off for some reason, once Harry moves his head I realise its because Liam, Louis and the two witches of Britain are here. Harry takes off towards them while my feet stay platered to the ground, Danielle and Eleanor are laughing and talking about something until Eleanor looks up and smiles warmly at Harry, a little too warmly.

Harry says something which makes her look at me who is a good few yards away from the table, still standing at the entrance, she shares a look with Danielle before Harry bounds over and grabs my hand, dragging me unvoluntarily over to the table, to join two of my most bestest frineds in the world, note my sarcasm, Danielle and Eleanor!

Harry sits with Liam and Louis who greet me before launching straight into their previous conversation about some major league soccer match. The girls are sitting across from each otehr, I'm sitting beside Danielle who smells strongly of some perfume. I cough quietly and lean in to enter their conversation, I remain sitting upright in my seat unlike Danielle who is leaning halfway across the small table to talk to an eager Eleanor, they must be bitching, its what they do half the time anyways.

Eleanor turns to a lighter subject and brings up fashion, I've tried to get more into fashion for my own benefits of easy convo with these girls. Eleanor goes on to talk about these cool indian weird black and white print leggins she found in BooHoo's store the other day. Danielle agrees, nodding her head feverishly, causing her curls to fly into my eyes and make them sting a little. Danielle brings up Forever 21 and Hollister, I decide to intervene and show them what I know about fashion.

Oh yeah! I was going to go in and check Forever 21's new spring collection today! I heard they have lovely summer dresses in store!

They share another one of their stupid looks but I ignore it, Eleanor's weird eyes burn holes in mine as she curiously asks,

You were going to?

I nod quietly realising she's paying more attention to why I couldn't instead of the topic of fashion and why I brought it up.

Eh yeah but I got there and the paps and fans just bombarded me, I had to get home.

Danielle looks at me with a mixture of disgust and cold pity before looking at Eleanor who's weird eyes, they are some weird colour, run up and down me, checking out what I'm wearing. Okay whats that look for, Eleanor catches Danielle's eye contact and she signals to my clothes, Danielle's dark eyes do a scan of my clothes before turnign to Eleanor and rolling her eyes, she turns back around in her seat and continues to lean across the table to Eleanor. I sigh and shrink down in my seat, clearly I would rather be anywhere but here. It so annoying how Harry and I treat each other like dirt in private but in public we are all in love and totally cute, not. Nobody ever bothers to look at it from my point of view, I feel Harry's eyes on me. I look up in hope of a reassuring look but he's glaring at me with stone cold fury.

I whimper to myself so quiet that no-one hears, Harry gives me signals indicating to the two bitches of Britain. Liam and Louis stop talking mid-rant as they notice they have lost Harry's concentration, Louis is sitting across from me and glances at Harry then the girls before resting his eyes on me. He realises whats going on and glares at me, ok I love Louis like an older brother but why does he always take Eleanor's side? Does he not even see that they're leaving me out? How blind is he? Liam just tells me I'm over-reacting and that I should get more involved with things that interest the girls but I don't see why I have to change for them? They didn't have to paint or learn to draw when they met me so why should it apply to me?

Liam glances warily at me as Louis nudges Harry and whispers angrily to him, it must've been something along the lines of,

Keep control of your girlfriend.

Well something like that because Harry immediatly kicks my shin under the table and signals to the bitches who she they have the boys' attention so they start chatting excitedly. I roll my eyes and glare back at Harry, I decide to join in their converse as the guys are watching,

So girls, did ya hear about JLS?

This catches Danielle's attention straight away while Eleanor rolls her eyes and looks away behind me at something else, clearly more interested in randonmers than me.


Danielle is now fully turned in her seat to face me, her brown eyes reminding me of a dog who sees a bone, she's nearly jumping into my lap impatient of what I have to say.

They broke up.

Danielle's eyes widen in shock and her hands fly up to cover her mouth, she whimpers and runs her hands through her now bushy curls. She does a rub down of her face before immediatly picking up her DKNY handbag and digging out her phone. Her slim fingers quickly type away on her Blackberry's keypad, I spot her logging onto Twitter and finding out that #JLS is trending. I smirk at Harry from across the table, proving to him that I can make my own friends, just proving as I'm definetly not trying to be friends with these! I leave Danielle to scroll down the webpage and with every Tweet she reads, her face lightens a shade paler.

Liam glances worriedly at Danielle over my head, I hate how Harry put me sitting inbetween them. Eleanor grunts loudly and leans back in her chair sighing loudly, she folds her arms obnoxiously and looks down at me through her nose. I glance at Harry, the tension building up as everyone is quiet, the only things audible are the occasional gasps and cries from Danielle who is leaning over her phone, her head of curls covering her face.

Danielle eventually sits up, crying out Liam's name. I whisper to Liam quietly to swap seats with me so he can talk to Danielle, he glances over at her before swapping with me. I'm in the last seat before the wall, sitting across from Louis and Harry who's gazes are bouncing from a clearly pissed Eleanor to Danielle's paler face. Eleanor clearly does not like someone else having the attention so of course this is the time she decides to butt in and make me look like the bad guy.

Its her fault! Look what she did to Danielle!

She turns to me, rage burning in her eyes,

You know she loves JLS!!!!! How could you do that? Why are you so stupid?

I turn to Harry, my eyes pleading him to get me out of here now, he folds his arms and shakes his head firmly. I shrink down to half my size and whimper under Eleanor's strong gaze. I'm going ot turn her game around and make her look mean.

I didn't, I'm so sorry!

My eyes are sad and my mouth is being dragged down by the burden of having to experience this. Eleanor shakes her head and gruffly blows a strand of hair out of her eyes, I musn't have noticed it before but she got bangs. She angrily attempts to blow the hair out of her eyes and she folds her arms crossly and huffs. Harry sits awkwardly inbetween Louis and Eleanor. Louis sits in his chair quietly, taking a bite out of the sandwhich sitting in front of him. He doesn't bother to intervene, he doesn't even look to see that Danielle is the one attacking me but I bet you all my savings that he will take Eleanor's side later anyways. Harry nudges Louis and points to a scowling Eleanor who is shooting me dirty looks from across the table.

Louis rolls his eyes and tries, unsucessfully, to confront Eleanor and get her to calm down. I hold Harry's gaze as he studies my expression. Louis finally manages to calm Eleanor down but not before she shifts in her seat proclaiming loud enough for me to hear,

That bitch!

Louis looks away pretending not to have heard that but Harry glares at Louis who shrugs and glances hungrily at his sandwhich. I stand up and growl at Eleanor, stabbing my index finger through the air,

No fucking way am I the bitch! Look who's talking!

To skip the long story short of Eleanor and I clawing our way to each other from the other side of the table, we had to be seen out. Of course, everyone took little darling Eleanor's side. Harry drags me out by the arm and practically throws me in the car like earlier. I glare at him before sitting myself upright and clicking my seatbelt on. The car ride to his house is eerily quiet but I'm not afriad of hm, if he hurts me I'm gone, I've been thinking about leaving him for awhile now but now I'm sure I don't belong with these people. Harry unlocks the door gruffly and swings the door open widely, slamming it into the wall behind. I stamp right through and don't bother to close it after me. He turns to me, his eyes full of rage and fury,

Can you not just get along with people? For chrits sake are you retarded?

I take a step back my mouth agape.

Seriously? You have got to be fucking KIDDING ME? Did you not SEE her Harry! She was fucking clawing me! I think you should take a look at yourself before pointing fingers!

He growls and stamps off towards the kitchen, I follow in suit as he starts throwing things. He runs his arm along the island countertop, dragging everything on it to the ground. Shards of glass and ceramic fly as smashes of glass shatter throughout the kitchen and hall. I stamp my way over to the cabinets, pushing past him and shoulding his arm. I pull open one of the presses and swing the door so hard it slams into the wall making a loud banging noise. I weigh my arms down, laden with all our plates. Everytime I throw a plate to the ground, I state a problem in our relationship as it falls. I let one slip out of my fingertips as I shout,

You don't understand me!

One plate falls and smashes to the ground, this grabs his attention. He turns around to face me and watches as the shards sits on the tiled kitchen floor. I strut around the kitchen and choose my next aim, I throw the plate as hard as I can to the wall closest to me,

WE're two different people!

I turn around quickly and throw one to Harry who quickly ducks just on time,

You're a total ASS!

His jaw clenches and I stamp out into the hall throwing plates every direction while shouting problems like,




This has got to be getting on his nerves, when I run out of plates, I decide to find out what he's breaking, I find him standign directly behind me, arms folded angrily. He storms over to the hall table and smashes the lamp on the ground. I take it to a new level and run upstairs. I return downstairs with Harry's favourite baseball bat, he puts his hands up in protest,


I practise taking swings before standing directly in the living room right before his plasma screen HD TV. Just before I swing, I proclaim loud and clear so he hears me,


I swing and smile in joy as I feel the bat connect with the glass and create a hole in his most prized possesion, Harry storms around throwing my magazines and crap around but none of that is precious to me. Nothing is this house is precious to me, I sneak out and run upstairs, I grab his suitcase which is still half packed because he has just returned from tour and I smash our bedroom window before throwing the suitcase down two storeys. I kick off my shoes and prance around our bedroom smashing his favourite things until I reach our vanity. I pick up all his colognes and walk over to the smashed window. I pick up one at a time and smash them onto the tree closest to the window, I don't miss any of the shots. The poor tree! IT probably reaks and is dying of poisoning right now. Harry races up to the bedroom, finally hearing the crashes. He glances around and angrily stops his rage, he takes in all thats missing before glaring at me.

I jump up onto the bed and bounce around, purposely trying to pop the springs to no avail. Harrry picks up soft things like pillows and fire them angrily at me. I return them all and start tearing up the pillows and papers, anything I come across I either smash or tear. We jump across the bed and race to the master bedroom where my art is, Harry stops once he's right in the door, I pause too and peek over his shoulder at what has him so mesmerized. Crap! HE wasn't meant to see the picture, he turns to me, a glint of anger left in his eyes but he's calm. I turn on my heel and head for the bedroom, I pack my things and slip on my shoes before heading down the stairs and into the hall where Harry is standing there quietly with his head bowed. I bounce my key between my hands and walk out back to our massive backgarden. I run and kick my key as hard as I can, I see it fly off into the distant air. I turn to see Harry standing in the doorway, obviously not bothered about the key, he might actually realise what its going to be like without me, too late for apoligies. He opens his mouth to, I'm guessing reply but I don't let him say anything, I push past him and storm through the kitchen and hall and storm out the still open front door and slam it as hard as I can, not bothering to look back or say goodbye.

I stare out the window of the livingroom, I blink before realising Katie has left, was I in a daze for that long? I groan and rub my now sore temples, that memory is way too deep and I honestly can't deal with it right now. That painting is what stopped us fighting, it sorted out all my problems well the disposal of it might have caused more problems but who cares? I stare at the clouds, there's a massive white cloud floating above while there's a massive dark grey cloud a little bit away from it. It looks like the clouds and floating together for battle, imagine, in this frail state of mind I'm thinking about clouds.

The doorbell rings, I call Katie to get it, it rings another five times before I decide to dry up my tears and get it, oh Katie is gonna pay for this. I open the door looking down at the person's shoes, white converse, I nod. Good selection of footwear, my eyes runs up what they're wearing, dragging my sight up to his eyes, oh shit. This is the last person I want to see right now.


Comment below who you think is standing on her doorstep??!!! Guess people it could be anyone!!!!!

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