forget, forgot, forgotten ?

Alex is an really normal girl. When she is 12 she falls in love with a boy while on vacation. When they return the next summer everything is perfect. They keep in touch but over the year the contact slowly fades away. When the next summer comes around he isn’t there. In a moment of complete anger and heartbroken she deletes all the contact information. All that’s left are the pictures. Almost directly after she feels miserable. A whole year go’s by and she is sure they will never meet again, a summer passes and she stay’s home. But almost a summer later she sees a clip on youtube, and there he is. Singing on the X-factor. Will they be reunited? And does he still remember her?

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14. chapter 14 - wtf alex?

Perrie and Alex' apartment - london - almost 2012.

I felt suffocated, trapped, into my new life. I had just woken up from a nightmare. A terrible one, it had to do with Mike you see? It was my most common nightmare, it had kept me awake hours per night. It scared the living shit out of my, it just felt so real sometimes. There were so many alternative endings. Most of the time I would wake up crying, with my body drained in sweat. Back in my old life I had some sort of a routine. I would wake up, take a very cold shower and then I did it. I cut myself. I always made six cuts. Six was my lucky number; at six my parents weren’t divorced yet. Six was explainable; somehow people always bought my lies. This time was different; I woke up but didn’t shower. I just ran to my bathroom. I sat down, getting Goosebumps all over my body. I pressed my hot and sweaty back to the cold wall of the bathroom. It felt so nice, so relieving. I didn’t cut this time. I felt extremely proud of myself. I started thinking, more like daydreaming actually. You would think daydreaming is all about pink fluffy unicorns that puke rainbows, meeting PewDiePie or your favorite band. Well, mines were not. I daydreamed nightmares. I already mentioned I was weird.

                I was just chilling in class. It was English so I didn’t have to bother. I was chewing my gum, and balancing myself and my chair. The teacher was in the middle of explaining some boring stuff when the caretaker of the school barged in, a police men following short after. I’m sorry to interrupt you class Mr. Douche, but this police officer would like to speak to one of your students if that was okay? I smiled to myself and slipped down in my seat, getting a little more comfortable. This was going to be entertaining, what did one of these goody-goodies that I had to call my classmate’s do? I felt like the smile was practically smacked off my face when the caretaker spoke again. Mrs. Blackwood will you please follow us? I slowly stood up behind my desk. What the hell, I did nothing wrong? I packed everything in my rug sack and walked over to the police officer. He walked out of the classroom to the cafeteria; I followed him; my mind still wondering about what I had done. “Please sit down Mrs. Blackwood; this may be hard to take in.” I sat down on the chair next to him and rolled my eyes. “Is my mum arrested again? “I spoke, sounding really annoyed. “No… no, today is more about you actually.” shit, had they found out about; well, about really anything. Name it and I have done it. Whenever I felt lonely I did shit out of boredom. But my chest told me otherwise, it told me something worse. “By any chance… does this have anything to do with the cases around Emma and Sofia?” the police officer looked at me in shock, worry and disbelief. “H-How did you know?” he managed to stutter out. I just shrugged. “Lucky guess?” he didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me either. “It has to do something with the case of Emma Brown.” I can’t describe how I felt. I was in shock I think. I already knew it was coming. “So he is after me now or what? And how do you know? And why only Emma and not Sofia?” I had hundreds of thousand questions to ask. “Please, stay calm and listen as I tell you…” I nodded, but after I really wanted answers. “So you know about the assaults on the two ladies Emma and Sofia. There isn’t any connection we could find. However at Emma’s case we found some evidence that led up to you. The Person that abused and raped her left a note which read; camp sixth grade. You better watch out gurl, you’re next. – We went to Emma’s school, were the told us the tale about camp in the 6th grade. So you’re next…” so basically what the officer just told me was; Mike is about the finish what he started. There is some crazy person after you trying to rape and abuse you. – I didn’t know how to react if I could react. I was full on crying by now.

                “Alex? Aaaaalex? Lexi!” someone shook my shoulder. I felt the person sitting next to me drape their arm over my shoulder. Thanks to the Mike dream I was afraid. I flinched a little and pulled away. My eyes filling with tears. “Hush now, nothing to be afraid off. Nobody can hurt you. Lex, it’s just me. Perrie. Trust me, I won’t hurt you.” I touched her arm, and as soon as I felt comfortable I hugged her, as I sobbed into her shoulder. I tried to speak, but only my cries came out. I clung on to her as my life depended on it. I felt Perrie shifting a little uncomfortable. I released her and sat next to her on my bed. She looked as if she was about to tell me that she had a horrible disease or something. I gripped my sheets, knowing I needed something to hold on to. “Listen Lex, I know you are having a real bad time now. But I won the X-Factor, I have to go on tour and promote and stuff. I just worry about how you are going to be, as in if you’re stable enough yet. You can still live here and stuff. And I won’t be moving out. I’ll just be away sometimes for quite some time…” she said it like I was still welcome. Like she never regretted the decision she had made a couple of months earlier. You can live with me, I now she regretted ever since. Just another place I was unwanted. I just didn’t understand, everybody seemed to run off. Push them as far away as they could. Disappearing, fading in to the horizon. We just sat there in silence for a while, I guess we fell asleep.

                Chest to chest, nose to nose, palm to palm… we were always just- I woke up to the soothing voice of Rihanna. I blindly reached to the sound and opened my eyes. I held perrie’s phone in my hands and quickly cancelled the alarm. Today she was going shopping with her band mate’s but the vain girl she is she had set her alarm to half past seven, even though they would meet up at noon. I silently laughed at myself, not the sweet one. But the mean and sarcastic one. You know so much about her, and she doesn’t want you either. Everybody who is nice to you will end up hurting you. I really hated my consciousness. It played with my. It made me paranoid almost. No, I was not mental. But you can say I am close to going completely mental. I had to leave, leave yet another life. A place which felt safe, well that was until my whole past came barging in, and add that to the fact that my new found friend was about to kick me out. It was time to try and find another life… again. I knew Perrie told me she wanted me to stay; I think deep inside there was a part of me telling to believe her. That made my decision the hardest. But I had made it. I set Perrie’s alarm t eleven o’clock and packed my bags. I wrote a quick note and left. Another place were my past had hunted me down… another place to be abandoned from. I didn’t know where to go, so I just walked around a bit. It must have been a weird sight, a young girl walking around with 4 big bags, in the middle of London looking completely lost. I looked at my phone to see it was nine o’clock. I walked over to a supermarket that I had just spotted and bought some food. It took me terribly long o decide what to buy. My mood took over and I bought 3 big cups of ben and Jerry’s and some donuts. I walked over to the cash register. “That’ll be 10, 30 missy.” I looked up to the cashier only to look into the most beautiful eyes you’ll ever see. They were big and blue. Only I couldn’t enjoy the beauty. Because I knew the person they belonged to. And they scared the shit out of me. As I still had to pay running off didn’t seem a bright idea. I quickly gave him 15 euro’s, picked up my food and ran. “ALEX, WAIT!” he yelled after me. You would be a lunatic to turn around and stop running wouldn’t you? But it was something that made me. I stopped running and looked up to him. “What?” I hissed, gritting my teeth and if I say so I it was quite intimidating. “You ran away again. I know you are going to say no, but you can stay at my place for as long as you want to.” I looked to him as if he was crazy. But that didn’t stop him. “Here is my address, you’re always welcome.” He slipped me a piece of paper. I knew that he was the worse option ever, but then again; I don’t really have control of my actions nine out of ten times. So after walking around for two more hours I called a cab to his apartment. It wasn’t big, but it was nice and clean. I never expected that of him though. I saw two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, living room and my favorite kind of room; it was like a gaming/music/library room. I dropped my stuff in the spare room and took the extra key with me as I was leaving to go change my number. But this time I kept all my contacts; so now I could contact them, but they couldn’t contact me. I returned to my new home, passing out while playing CoD; Blops. I tried to escape everything, and I failed miserably. I had just gotten myself in a more screwed up situation than ever. Like, ever.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A/N: hey guys; if you’re reading this I loooove you so much. So I had liked a mega huge writer’s block. I think it’s because my situation changed once again. Really, my life out in the real world is quite a mess. But I won’t be updating next week. I’M GOING ON A VACATION; well, with my class. So I’m going to the Czech Republic. I’m really looking forward to it except for the fact that technology isn’t allowed. I CANT EVEN TAKE MY IPod. This means a whole week without music, stalking one direction, writing, reading fanfics and privacy. But still, I’m really looking forward to it. Maybe I can get a chapter up before Tuesday; but if I want to write too much, or update to soon the chapters always turn out to be really crappy. Anyways, sorry for the short chapter; does anyone of you guys know with who she just moved in with? – I really didn’t want it. But somehow she just did it. She just left Perrie; while Perrie did nothing wrong just to move in with URGH. When I read like book reviews or interviews with authors I never really understand when they said that they didn’t know what their character was about to do until the very end. I was like; it’s your damn book. How can you not know? How can you have no control over YOUR made up person. - Now that I’m writing myself more and more I understand. Sometimes the story takes a turn I didn’t want it to. It’s amusing sometimes, but it also pisses me off. I have some other stories on my laptop. But I don’t want to write two stories at a time; although I’m doing it right now. But I mean, I would feel guilty for updating one of my stories and not the other one you know? anyways, I love you! - oh, and i'm like obsessed with Avril Lavine's new song; Here's to never growing up <3 - you should listing to it if you haven't ;D

Xoxo

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