hopeless

when briana a young 18 year old girl who has never had a family who cared for her or loved her,she still had hope that one day someone will love her care for her and be her family , she never lost her hope that was her only goal in life to have a family , one day briana meets harry styles at her boxing class does she fall for him? is harry the boy of her dreams? read to find out

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1. my pass

i never knew the definition of FAMILY cause i never had one, I never knew the definition of LOVE cause i never had some,I never knew the meaning of LIFE cause i did not want one.....

I which my life was a nightmare that i can wake up from and never dream of it again, But i just have to accept the fact that i'm living a life in hell, when i was 3 my dad left us , it was now only MOM,BROTHER, AND ME  my dad was on drugs he was abusive he was like a monster , that's how i lived for 5 years on , one early morning i woke up ready to go to school with my big 13 year old brother i was only 8 years old mom was going to drive us to school, we ate breakfast and headed to the car with mom when we got at school we said our goodbyes not realizing it was the last ones because moments later when mom was 10 feet away from school she got in a car crash, i saw everything something that i would never forget because it was now and always going to play in my mind, my own mom died in front of me it was a painful year for me i only had my big brother , i had no longer had a family , since that moment on my only hope in life was to have a family , i was going crazy i started cutting my self i stopped eating for 3 weeks since mom died i was anorexic i lost 30 pounds since mom died , i was lonely, depressed, i had nobody i only had my brother and we where staying at our godparents house, i lost everything i lost my friends i lost my family i lost everything but the only thing i did not lost was HOPE , my godparents found out i stopped eating 1 month later when mom died , she took me to rehab i was anorexic  and bipolar , i had to stay there for weeks for a whole 1 month till i got better, when i was in rehab i talked to nobody, the only person i would talk to was my doctor , counselor  those where the only two people i would talk to  i would spent time in my room thinking about how i lost my mom thinking about how i lost everything, when i came out i went back to my god parents i had to go back to school , i would get in lots of fights i would ditch school and i would go take a walk at a park that my mom took me when i was little i was now only 12 years old and i was causing my self lots of trouble , i did not care about the world that's why i would get into trouble, my brother ended up in jail because he started hanging out with the wrong types of friends he started getting in gangs and soon enough he was taken away from me , i wanted to die because i had nobody i only had my brother but he was not here he was gone i was by myself with only my god parents NOBODY ELSE i was by my self i wanted to see my mom i wanted to stop suffering so i decided to try and commit a suicide , i grabbed some pills and drank them i did not want to live no more i wanted to see my mom, i woke up in the hospital with my god parents by my side not my mom , not my brother , and not my dad, i have no family , i had to visit the counselor  every day i started taking therapy i started getting better, i now was in high school in was in the 12 grade i still did not talk to no one i was a loner because i wanted, people tried to talk to me and be friends but i refused them, i wanted to be a loner because im afraid someone might ask about my pass then that's when i'm going to break.....

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