Biggest Mistake Of My Life? (1D fan Fiction)

Jasmine Harley is only nineteen, but she's getting married... to a man she doesn't love.
If she doesn't marry him, her family will disown her, but if she does, then she has to spend the rest of her life with Kyle.
This wedding could be the biggest mistake of her life, so what happens when she goes against her famiy and runs away? What happens when she finds love in one of the most unlikely place... with One Direction?

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1. Listen To Your Heart

Listen To Your Heart

 

  I look at my reflection in the mirror. I look like the perfect bride: traditional white gown with intricate detail that most bride would die for; a pretty flowered head band is places atop my loosely curled chocolate hair; layers of fine white netting trail down my back; white sating heels peek out from underneath the floor-length fabric; a bouquet of white roses is clutched in my hands, matching the flowers in my hair; my checks are rosy and I have subtle make up on that brings out my eyes. The perfect bride in every sense, apart from one tiny detail. The smile.

  My lips, sticky with lipstick, are turned down into a sad frown. My crystal blue eyes don’t have the excited spark in them that I’ve seen before in so many brides-to-be.

  I turn around to see my four bridesmaids fussing over their pretty lilac dresses.

  “I can’t do this.”

 

  You know how everyone has those moments that they wish they could go back and change? Well, after nineteen years, I have my fair share: messing up my lines in the school play, not accepting a scholarship into one of the top schools, not trying harder at school, not mustering up the courage to talk to my high school crush (even though I now know he liked my too) but there is one moment I know I regret more than all the others put together. It’s haunted me ever since I said that one little word; yes.

  That’s all it took to change my life. The moment Kyle asked me to marry him. And I made to biggest mistake of my life. I agreed.

  So here I am, a year later, about to sign my life away.

  I know what everyone says about me. She’s too young, she doesn’t love him – what the hell is she doing?

  And I agree with them, but here’s the truth; I have to get married. It’s that, or be completely disowned by my family.

  If it was up to me I would be following my dream and making it big in acting. I’ve been told often enough that I’m good enough to go to Hollywood, but of course, my family doesn’t approve. Do they ever? In their eyes if you don’t get married before the age of twenty and become a house wife to a rich man that goes to work, earns the money and comes home to all the chores having been done and a homemade dinner on the table, then you’re not worth knowing.

  It’s unbelievably old fashioned, not to mention sexist. They don’t care that society doesn't work like that anymore.

  I only said yes out of pure desperation – I’ll be twenty in a few months, so without this marriage I would no longer be considered a Harley.

  Sometimes I think about going against them – my family – not getting married and following my dreams. Then I realise that I don’t know what I’d do without my family. I’d be lost. Financially, anyway. Sure, I’d miss them, but they’ve never exactly been the most supportive family to say the least.

  So here I am; about to walk down the aisle to be with a man I don’t love. I want to love him, I’ve tried so hard, but it just doesn’t feel right. There’s no spark. No connection. It’s an empty relationship, and not one I want to spend the rest of my life in.

  So that’s why I turn around to my bridesmaid and say those four words.

 

  “I can’t do this.”

  My sister looks confused, like she can’t imagine what I’m talking about. My cousin’s mouth drops open in shock, but her little sister dances around her feet, oblivious to my confession. But Kitty’s reaction is the worst. My best friend doesn’t look shocked, or confused, instead she look at me with dark, sad eyes, like she was just waiting for this to happen.

  “Jasmine Lola Harley, what are you talking about?” Sapphire is my sister, five years my senior, and we are absolutely nothing alike. People look at us in shock when we tell them we’re related.

  My voice sounds hollow and separate from the rest of my body. “I can’t get married.”

  “Of course you can,” She says dismissively. “All you have to do is walk down the aisle, say some words and kiss Kyle – it’s not difficult.”

  “But... I...” How can I tell her that I don’t love Kyle? That this is never what I wanted? “I’m not ready...” I protest feebly.

  “Don’t be silly, you’re nearly twenty. I was eighteen when I married Mark, and we’re perfectly happy.” What I don’t tell her is that Mark has been having an affair with her best friend for over a year; while Sapphire, and mother, remain blissfully ignorant and the whole village gossips.

  Tammy picks up the over excited four-year-old and rests her on her hip, while glaring at me, but I can see the sympathy in her eyes. “You can’t back out of it now - think of what your mother will say. Nina calm down.” She scolds her sister who’s trying to wriggle out of her grasp. “Kyle hasn’t stopped talking about the wedding since he proposed.”

  Tammy’s seventeen and is already engaged to Kyle’s best friend. In out villages, everyone knows everyone else. I have to admit, it’s nice to have Tammy to hang around with while our to-be-husbands go out. It feels almost like we’re normal cousins talking and laughing, until I glance down and see my engagement ring glinting on my finger and realise that I’ll never have to life we both dream about. But Tammy still takes my sister’s view on marriage. Get married young and become a wife and mum. If we’d been in any other family she could have done great things, but she goes along with her mother – my Aunt Indigo.

  “You know how much he’s been looking forward to this. You’re lucky to have someone like that.” She casts a quick glance at Sapphire, but luckily she doesn’t see.

  The mention of Kyle sends guilt shooting through me. He is a really sweet guy, but he’s more like a brother to me. I can see it in his eyes that he loves me in a way that I can never return.

  I collapse into a chair next to the mirror and bury my face in my hands, but carefully, so as not to ruin my make-up.

  “Careful!” Sapphire shrieks. “That dress cost a fortune!”

  Kitty, who up until now stayed quiet, sits in a chair beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Jaz, you have to do what’s right, not just for your family, but for you.” Kitty’s always been the one I’ve turned to. She’s not part of the family, so our ridiculous tradition doesn’t apply to her. She’s at Cambridge studying to be a doctor. She can choose what to do in her life. But she’s always understood the situation since she’s known my family almost as long as I have. I told her I was having doubts about Kyle and she said I should do what’s best. I always thought that marriage was the only option... but know, I really don’t know if I can go through with it.

  “I don’t know what’s right anymore.”

  “What does your heart say?”

  I take a breath and block out my head’s screams of ‘just marry him for heaven’s sake!’ and I listen to my heart. Don’t do it. You don’t love him.

  But... but, there is no other way.

  “Jasmine, you are two minutes away from getting married - everyone gets nervous, it doesn’t mean you have to back out.” They’re probably the wisest words ever heard come from my sister.

  I have to go through with it, for Kyle’s sake, for mother’s sake, for my family’s sake.

  “Jaz?” Kitty asks gently.

  I sit up abruptly, trying to look determined, but inside I’m a mess. If Kyle knew what went on in my mind there’s no way he’d have proposed. “I’ll do it.”

  “’Course you will.” Sapphire examines her reflection, fixing a stray lock of hair.

  Suddenly my mother throws open the door to our makeshift dressing room. “It’s time.” She trills. She looks the most excited I’ve ever seen her – she’s been waiting years for me to finally be married. This wedding is more hers than mine. Every little detail has to go through her – if she doesn’t like it, then it doesn’t happen. I just stand back and let her do all the work. At least somebody will be happy today. Her greying blond hair is tied back in an intricate bun, her designer pink suit clings to her still slim figure and expensive pearls hang from her ears. She doesn’t miss an opportunity to show everyone her wealth.

  I stand up and smile as best I can. I can see Kitty’s worried expression, but I have to go through with this. How bad can it be? Kyle’s not a bad guy, I’ll survive. I just have to take it one step at a time.

  “Come on, we’re about to start.” Mother gives me a once over. “You look beautiful Jasmine.” I almost fall over from shock. Since when has she been one to give out compliments? I’ve never heard her say anything about me is good, let alone beautiful. But then again, this is what she wants, so she’s bound to like it.

  Before I’ve fully recovered, Mother ushers us all out into the hallway of the grand cathedral she chose for our wedding. No one listened to me when I said I’d rather have somewhere smaller. This place seats at least two hundred people.

  She hands me over to my father, who looks proudly at me as I walk through the door, trying not to trip in my heels. I love my dad more than anyone else in our family, but he’s never around. I gave up on him years ago. I smile at him anyway. At least he managed to turn up to this.

  I cling onto his arm for dear life as mother hurries through the doors to the main cathedral to take her seat. She leaves it open for us. Father chuckles. “Nervous, sweetheart?”

  “Just a bit.” I admit.

  I hear hush descend in the packed room as the orchestra start to play. My breathing quicken as I realise what I’m about to do. I’m going to sign away my life. No. I can’t think like that. I’m just... starting a new life.

  Tammy steps through the doors first with Nina hanging onto her hand. My heart rate doubles and all too quickly Kitty and Sapphire have stepped out onto the red carpet running the length of the aisle.

  Now it’s my turn. My feet don’t want to move from the spot on the carpet, but my father pulls at my arm until finally my feet move forwards.

  I try to plaster a smile on my face as I step through the door, but it might look more like a grimace. I focus on moving my feet, one at a time. All I can hear is the pounding of my blood in my ears. I have to lean on my father’s arm to stop myself falling. I feel as if I might faint. The aisle is too long. I keep moving, but I feel like I’ve been walking for hours. My heels are far too high and they hurt as if I’ve been running a marathon. I may as well have done, the rate my heart is going.

  I make my blurry eyes block out the faces on either side of me, half of whom I’ve never met. I look straight ahead and see Kyle waiting for me at a rose petal covered alter. Oh God. I almost stop right there, but I have to keep moving, despite the pain in my chest. Kyle’s smile is so full of undisguised happiness that I feel like the worst person in the world.

  I can’t give him the love he deserves. The wife he deserves.

  I wonder what it might be like if I was walking toward the man I love. I feel a slight, but genuine, smile rise on my face. I cling to that tiny bit of happiness.

  I can act. I can become other people so easily, so all I have to do is pretend this is all a show. I’m a blushing bride making their way to their handsome groom. I take a deep breath and become the person I’m expected to be.

  I smile as I finally reach Kyle. I let go of my father, but I’m steadier on my feet now. I look up at Kyle’s face, his deep blue eyes bore into mine and I just hope that mine convey the same amount of love that his do.

  “You look beautiful.” He whispers. All I can do is beam at him – I don’t know what to say. I’m an actress lacking her script.

  The music stops and the Vicar begin to talk, his words echoing around the large space while coloured light dances over us from the stained glass windows. I can’t hear what he says; all I can do is focus on not hyperventilating.

  Finally I pay attention when Kyle smiles at me. “I do.”

  Oh no. My eyes widen. Already? No, no, no. This isn’t actually happening. It can’t be. This is just a nightmare. But wedding’s aren’t meant to be nightmare’s – this is supposed to be the best day of my life, so why do I feel like this is the biggest mistake?

  “Do you, Jasmine Lola Harley, take this man, Kyle Alexander Jones, as your lawfully wedded husband?”

  Do I? I don’t know! I feel the panic rising inside me. I can’t do this, I can’t do this.

  It’s only two little words, I contradict myself, all you have to say is ‘I do’ and then this will all be over. But it won't. For the rest of my life I will be with Kyle, pleasing everyone else.

  I realise that Kyle is staring at me, nudging me with his eyes to say the words. I must have been quiet for too long. Rather than saying what I know I should, I look out at the crowd. A sea of eyes are focused on me, holding their breath for my answer. They look confused. I see my mother on the front row. She narrows her eyes at me. She knows I’ve always been reluctant about marriage. I see my sister looking at me as if I’ve gone mad. Tammy looks at me with sad eyes and I can’t stand to see her sympathy, so I move my eyes to Kitty.

  Kitty surprises me – she’s not staring at me like everyone else. She mouths something at me. I’ve never been any good at lip reading, but this I understand. It’s not too late.

  I remember what she said to me before; you have to do what’s right, not just for your family, but for you... What does your heart say?

  Can I really just forget about my family and put myself first for once? I want to. So badly I want to leave, just go – start over.

  But it’s the person sitting between Tammy and Kitty than makes up my mind.

  Nina looks at me with wide innocent eyes. She sucks a lolly pop, once again oblivious to the trouble I’m causing. Can I really bring something so sweet and innocent into a loveless marriage?

  No. I can’t do that.

  I can’t do this.

  I can’t do this because I can’t start a family like this. They’ve done nothing wrong – they don’t deserve to be brought up like that. My parents have no love and I don’t think I can ever forgive them for leaving me without love all those years.

  I can’t do the same.

  I turn back to Kyle, my resolve hardening.  I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I know that he’s not that surprised. I think he always knew it wouldn’t work out.

  “I’m sorry.” I whisper.

  With that I turn run, as fast as my heels will allow, out of the hall.

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