Scars

Ash is those one of those teenagers that is free spirited. She lets nothing get in her way. She is one of those strong and independent girls, who has a heart that cares for her friends and family. But one summer changes everything. But what?

Copyright 2013

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3. Ash

Ash's POV

     Cuts. It's all I can imagine, going around my head. Trying to think of something else. But I can't, cuts are the only thing I can see in front of me. It's the only thing I can get from the cruel tragedy. I stared into the mirror looking at the reflection of myself. I'm so pale, pale as a ghost. I lost a lot of weight due to the fact I can't eat anything. You can practically see the bones in my body which is really scary. But I can't do anything. Anything at all. This is all to much for me.

     I have a razor in my hand. It looked very appealing to me, I closed my eyes an made a tighter grip on the razor and moved it to my arm, slashing a piece of my skin off under my wrist.I couldn't feel the pain, my hands felt numb. I don't feel any sense of emotion, I don't feel hurt or pain. This is the only thing that can keep me going. I know this is crazy but if you were in my position you would understand.

     It's been a week since the death of Lily's and already I couldn't handle it. A week of sitting in my room, drowning myself in my salty, stained tears. I won't stop and I don't think I will be able to. It's either my room crying or the bathroom, cutting. I refuse to eat. I'll drink water but nothing else. This isn't torture, this is what I am doing now. And I am happy with. None of my friends know about this and I'll make sure theuy don't. They'll stop me, I know they will.

     I am still cutting, the blood oozing out of my skin, dripping onto the floor. There was a knock at my front door, "Ash? Are you in there?" Janelle called through the door. I didn't answer. Instead I cut a little deeper into my arm. More blood came out.

     "Wait, get the spare keys, it's behind the pot over there." Someone else said. They're voices are clear and loud. They're trying to get in. I stood frozen on my spot. I heard the door open. I tried to hide the razor, but nothing's happening. I turned around and I saw Sammy and Janelle in shock, both of them staring at my scars. "What are you doing!?" Sammy scolded, running over to me While Janelle was standing there in shock. "Um- uh-I-um- nothing." I stuttered. I looked at my wrist and the blood was becoming dry. Sammy grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the bed. "Janelle go saok the tissue with some water," Sammy said to her. She nodded and went downstairs into the kitchen while I just sat there looking guilty. I could tell that Sammy was very angry, I could see it in his eyes. He took the tissue off Janelle and started wiping the dry blood off my wrist.

     "Why are you doing this Ash?" Sammy said worringly. I shook my head, I can't get the words out, it's stuck in my throat.

     "I can't..." I mumbled under my breathe. I stared at my wrist, examining the cuts. I stared at Sammy who had a slight confusion on his face.

     "W-what?" He asked, unsure of what I said. I sighed and stood up from my bed.

     "I can't do this anymore! This is all to much for me. I can't survive without Lily! Imagine how it feels like losing another half of you? Tell me!?" I shouted, letting it all out.

     Just out of no where, Janelle stepped out, "Imagine how Lily feels if she saw this. If she came into the room and saw you cutting yourself, imagine the look on her face. Come on, Ash you can't do this." Janelle spoke. I stared at Janelle with sadness gleaming in my eyes.

     " I can't help it though, something just seems to come over me, and that's the only way i feel better after." I replied.

     " Well there has to be some other way?" sammy said.

      " Yeah, maybe you need some fresh air?" Janelle suggested. I turned around and gave her one of my glares.

     " Oh yeah, I walk outside and breath in carbon dioxide and oxygen, and then go, mmmm,  that made a big difference?" I said sarcastically. Then Janelle just looked at me like omg your such an idiot.

     Sammy turned to Janelle and said, " She's got a point you know."

     " Oh, just shut up." Janelle snapped. Janelle and Sammy started bickering at each other. I just sat and laid down on the bed feeling frustrated.

     After Sammy and Janelle stopped bickering at each other, they both walked up to me with a serious face, while I sat up on my bed.

    " You have to stop cutting yourself.. Or at least try, look we don't want see you like this... Even Lily," Janelle said.

     " Promise me that you won't cut yourself anymore, from now on." Sammy said in a worried tone.

     "I won't now, I promise." I said.

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Yo guys what up? Its Ash that's doing the Authors note today. I actually worked really hard on the second half of the story... Janelle only wrote the first paragraph, but i wrote the rest... Omg, I just realised I did so much work on writing, I have never done that before. Me and Janelle were working on this like all day at school. Anyway Janelle is really excited about the next chapter... so yeah.

- Ash ;) and Nelle :)Xx

 

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