Ruby

Girl named Ruby is being overwhelmed with final exams. The only thing which could possibly ruin her life even more is to fall in love with already taken curly boy. Poor girl.

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13. Decision.

Harry's girlfriend is walking straight to me. Breath, Ruby. Ok, here we go. “Hiya, I am Lisa. I know we haven’t time to introduce properly before. You know when.” She speaks up to me and I notice her big blue eyes going wet. I think she realises very well that Harry's condition could have been on much worse level than it's now. “Hi Lisa. I am Ruby”, I introduce myself with honest smile. She really do seems nice. Her left hand goes nervously through ends of her black hair. “Nice to meet you, Ruby. Sorry for asking you this, but you and Harry are, I mean were...” She goes silent but I know the end of her question. I let her thinking I have no clue though. She bits her bottom lip and look to the ground. Then she takes a deep breath and asks again, “You and Harry are just friends?” Oh god. She really said it. What do I tell her? That from the first moment I saw him in that freaking bakery I knew he is the most caring and loving person in the whole universe?  That I loved him but still left him and then got back with hope that he would have been waiting for me? I don't want to lie. The last thing I want is to get back to that mess again. But I have no choice. She looks worried. Really worried what I am going to answer. Suddenly I realise she is just like me. In love with person but still not sure about it. She thinks she's on a thin ice with him, that he still might leave her. I don't want to ruin anything, but I can't stay silent forever.  “Yes. We are and we were just friends”, I let it out. She seems relieved with my response. She actually giggles. “I am sorry for being rude. It´s just I didn’t know you and then I started thinking why you were at the hospital back then. Ok now it makes sense, I was just paranoid”, she sighs with relief and looks at her silver watch. “God I am late, hope I still get in. Again, it was nice meeting you.” I fake smile and respond quickly “Me too. Ok. Well. Eh. See ya someday.” Then I get quickly to my car and sit there for like 10 minutes. I watch her disappear behind cars and then  lean my head against the wheel.

Firstly, that girl didn’t know me before. It means Harry hasn´t told her about me. Not that I am someone to talk about. I technically haven’t lied about anything. Harry and I weren’t a thing. We didn’t date, we didn’t even kiss. Secondly, I tell her “see ya someday”. What is wrong with me? I don´t want to see her again. Under no circumstances I don´t want to see her and him together in one room sharing the same air. That´s just jealous Ruby talking. I have to calm down. Or I don´t. He has a fucking girlfriend meanwhile I am sitting in a fucking car with no heating on. Fuck it. I won´t meet them two again together because I won´t meet Harry again. Simple as that, right? I have to let it go from now on it´s not my concern.  I bottled my feelings up too deep. I hope they stay there for the longest time. I put the engine on and drive straight back home.

“When are you going back to Nottingham, darling?” mum asks me while cooking dinner. I am sitting at the table, going through my old mail. “Don´t know mum. I called there, aunt said she doesn’t need me there yet. That I can take some time off. I think I might stay here for other week.” I reply, my eyes never leaving the envelopes. Just useless crap like advertisement and missed dentist´s appointments. But then I find something I hope I would have never found. My old application to local university. I remember sending it before leaving to Nottingham. I haven’t really wanted to get in, it was just for my parents.  “Just give it a try” they said to me. Now I have a heart in my throat. My fingers slowly opening corners of the envelope are shaking. When I withdraw the paper from it I am frozen. I am frozen and taken aback with the words I see there. “The university chancellor is pleased to announce to you that you were accepted and...” “Mum look...” It´s all I can say. She leaves the kitchen counter and get to me. She reads out loud and I try to comprehend her words. “RUBY, that´s amazing! It´s 2 months old though. But I think you still could call there and ask... “Mum, stop. I don´t want to go to university. I never wanted to and I am sure I don´t want to now.” Not, when Harry´s there studying. “You don´t mean it like that, do you? Ruby, I can´t let you working as a waitress when you´ve been accepted to the best university in this area.” I shout at her, “I am not going to university. End of story!” My mum´s forehead gets wrinkled and I can tell she´s pissed. “No, darling, I´ll end up this story for you. You are going to call there, and ask if they can take you again. That´s the end of the story.” She can´t be serious! It´s my decision to make, not hers. But I can´t fight her.  It´s my mum we are talking about. I could still try talk to dad. But I doubt he would go against my mum either.  What the hell is wrong with this word? 

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