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2. Finally

My body enveloped in nothing but nervousness this is much worse than any I have ever felt, this is deeper. More intense. Carefully down the road taking in the landscape the sweet hot Nevada air surrounds me, engulfing me. There’s no turning back now, not this close. So close to panic, yet so close to gravity, my gravity. Everything that keeps me going is just down this drive past the “Emory” mailbox. So close... so very close.

This is it, the moment I’ve been waiting for, for over two years. I start to panic surveying the area around me, I must look like a deer in the headlights. So lost, so confused. All of those emotions fade once I see him, my beautiful Carson, meeting me at my car door. I climb out and he smiles, picks me up and spins me around it’s like nothing I have ever experienced before. He holds me to him and I embrace him, inhaling his gentle scent of home. Safety. The place I belong.

There is nothing in this world that I want more than to stay in this man’s arms. So sweet, so gentle a perfect embrace leading to many things. Nights of untold secrets, unknown words, this is something I will never be able to perfectly describe. Letting the drive take full effect I realized how tired and weak I truly was. 

I had been driving a good 24 hours and was ready for a nap. Carson knew me better than anyone, instantly catching on and carrying me to his bedroom, lying me down and climbing in beside me. He smiled a smile that I will remember forever, not even years, not even death itself, will make me forget the smile of that beautiful man.

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