Cuts and Scars

A girl from school who just wants to fit in. A boy who wants to help and tries but unsuccessful. She cries every night, Likes a boy but likes someone else. She only has one friend, Max. The boy she likes. She gets bullied and sits up in the bleachers scared to walk in class late. Laughs, pushes, pointing, Scars, cuts, blood. When will it end?

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1. Cover up, Love.

   I'm Fiona. I have a ton of scars all over my body and a mother who treats me like a slave a loving brother who i love so much i would move away to an apartment with him. I have one best friend his name is Max. I'm in love with him. Great. I walked down the hall, my black hair falling past my shoulders, a gray beanie, long sleeve t-shirt to cover up my scars, black jeans, and black converses. I clutched my books to my chest so they wouldn't get slammed to the ground. I tried to pace myself so i didn't trip. I had my earphones in my ears so i couldn't hear kids calling me names. I knew my school extremely well so i would close my eyes so i couldn't see pointing fingers. I hated getting bullied. i was the most bullied girl in school. I never told anyone; Except for Max my only friend all my other girl friends left me when they found out i got raped as a kid. I'm suprized i haven't killed myself yet. But i know there's something out there for me. I wanna finish High school and go to college I know there's something there left for me. Something small but its there. I opened my eyes and saw my old friend whispering and pointing at me. I rolled my eyes. I wanted to scream at her.  I'm really skinny because i used to starve myself. Max stopped me when one day he kissed my cheek begging me to stop. It really knocked the wind outta me. I walked into science and sat down in the far corner. I like to call it my corner. Its darker because the light completely broke unfix able. People laugh at me and call me dark girl. A lot of people throw waddled up balls of paper and throw at me as if i'm a trash can. I just sigh and pick up the balls of paper and throw them away not even bothering to look at what it says inside because, i already know. Max looks behind to me i smile and he looks at me worried. I mouth him "i'm okay don't worry"  He sighs and turns around i look at the teacher listening to some stupid chemistry that i ace, i'm really smart but i tell no one; afraid to get called nerd and smart ass and other shit like that. The bell rang and i walked out to "eat" lunch. I'm still recovering for not eating. i sighed and grabbed salad. I scanned the Cafeteria. I found my spot an empty table that only ever has one chair i sat there and ate as much salad as i could. I put my earphones in and listened to little mix and Ed Sheeran the only people who make me feel like i can live my life. I sighed as i nodded my head to the beat. Max came up to me to ask my everyday questions. "How much you eat today?" i sighed "most of my salad and all my milk. Don't worry i eat now." I smiled.  "Did you cut yourself at all yesterday." i pulled my sleeves down. I did five people text-ed me calling me names, I broke down. i was crying last night till i couldn't breathe. I sat on my seat silent staring in his eyes. he ran over to me and pulled my sleeve up. His eyes widened as he saw a fresh cut on my arm He ran  his finger on it and i flinched. I looked up at his face and saw Tears were running down his face. "I-I'm sorry, its just-" I was cut of by his finger. "Why? w-why did you do it, i thought you were stronger than this." He dropped my arm and walked away. I just sat there looking at my arm with regret. Didn't he know what i was going though. I sighed and walked outta the cafeteria a tear escaped my eyes. 

 

    When i got on the bus kids were staring at me and a kid threw a paper ball at me. I catched it in my hand and dropped it on the ground. The kid just starred at me i smirked because, i knew i won this time. It felt good. I sat down in the front of the bus i grabbed my earphones and popped them in my ears. I sighed as i nodded my head to the beat of little mix . Max came on the bus and sat next to me. "You know you shouldn't sit next to me it can ruin your status" I whisper. He shrugged and said" I need to talk to you about your cut. " I sighed and moaned in annoyance. "I don't want to." I plugged my earphone in and turn the volume up. he grabbed my earphones and my Ipod so fast. "Hey! give that back its the only thing that makes me happy. plus you" I blushed realizing i notice what i had just said. "I'm not giving it back till we talk." He Said. I knew he wasn't gonna give it back, i sighed. "Okay what do you want to know?" "Why, why did you do it." Max asked. "because 5 people somehow texted me and called me names and shit. You know the usual." I shrugged. "You act like its nothing! this is seriously i thought it had stopped since its been so long you cut yourself. I thought i fixed every thing. I'm such a failure"  I sighed i felt so bad. Why am i like this. I'm so fucked up in the head. I'm making Max feel like its all his fault. " Max its not your fault, stop putting your self down. I know you care and i want to stop but its hard too i get bullied everyday, i'm the most bullied girl in the school and it hurts. Just ill try to stop cutting as much as i can. If you were in my shoes you would feel the same way and i'm sorry. i promised ill try as hard as i can."  Max sighed and pulling my ipod out and plugged one ear phone in and gave me the other he scrolled threw my songs. He leaned back on the seat and propped his knees up i did the same. The whole way home we listen to music and nodded our head to the beat. I smiled it made me happy when i was with max. 

    I walked out of the bus and max followed " Fiona wait up!" He called after me. "What are you doing your house isn't until the next stop." I asked max. " i'm coming over i miss the old you when we laughed and talked and i thought i could get a little glimsp of that at home" I sighed and said " Not much going on at my home just my drunk mother treating me like a slave my loving brother who keep sanity in me brother and finishing my stupid homework and reading." Max shrugged. " i can make it a little bit more funkay" He winked and i grunted. "You and your mind." Max laughed and tickled me. "Stop! hahaha! Stop" I squealed and Ran as he chased me with his arms ready for the next wave of tickles. I stopped as i felt a Rain drop on my forehead. I looked and it was raining. GREAT. I've always wanted to kiss a boy in the rain, like that would ever happen with me and max he liked someone else but wont tell me who, UGH, I tell him no one, would like me anyways so there's no point of crushing on someone.  I sighed and i felt arms wrapped around me like a present. "Huh?" I looked up to see Max smiling cheesy at me. "What are you doing?" I said sweetly smiling. "Hugging you." He smiled back. " Oh. Well lets get outta this rain." Max knocked the wind outta me when he picked me up and threw me around his shoulders and ran. I squealed and Laughed until i couldn't anymore.

   When we got the the porch i unlock the door. I heard my mother screaming. "IS THAT WHORE HOME?" I told Max to go upstairs and stay there. He nervously ran and i held my breath as i walked into the kitchen. "Mother you shouldn't be drinking in front of Jax. Its not right" I saw Jax eating a Peanut butter sand which, looking at me, he smiled and came up to me. i picked him up. "Hey. buddy whats up i missed you." He giggled and kissed my check and wrapped his arms around my neck "I missed you to sissy." I smiled and said " Go eat you snack and finish your homework. I let him down and he giggled and ran to the table. "Clean up this mess you filthy bitch. Before i back hand you." I sighed. I picked up the empty beer bottles i counted one, two, three, it went all the way to five. i sighed as i walked slowly to the trash can and threw them away. i walked up the stairs and ran into my room. I closed the door quietly. "Hey" i said. "What was that all about." He sighed. "it;s my mother shes. drunk." He chuckled "I noticed." I blushed and he hugged me. Suddenly he lifted my chin up and starred into my blue eyes. "You have beautiful eyes." He smirked. "oh..thanks." I said my heart was pounding so hard i could hear it in my ears. Butter fly's were in my stomach like i was on a roller coaster and going down the steepest hill. He picked me up so i couldn't touch the ground so we were face to face.  Forcing me to put my legs around him so i felt safer. He chuckled. "Why are you doing this to me." I laughed as i spoke. " You know that girl i said i liked?" Max asked."Mhmm." I hummed. "Well that girl. Is you," I gasped. ME?! your kidding me?Who would like the girl who cuts herself and is the most unpopular girl in school. "Oh. Really?" He twirled me around and i clutched to his chest. "Really." He smiled  " So... What are you saying?" I smiled and looked into his eyes. "Fiona, im asking if you want to date. You can hang with my friends. Get some friends for once, they will love you ive told them all about you and how amazing you are." He smiled. " You, would really do that for me?" He nodded. "ill do anything for it to stop for the pain to go away." Then it happened. He kissed me. The sweet smell of his tooth paste and his soft lips to mine. I kissed him back like theirs no tomorrow  He smiled and chuckled. He sat me on my bed and we talked all night till i pasted out of exhaustion. 

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