Tough Love

April Parker's life is a mess... Then she meets a boy, and he helps her through life. Will she learn how to love again? Or will the one person she starts to love leave? April doesn't want to take chances. She doesn't want to be left behind again... Will she make thing better? Or end up pushing him away?


12. Chapter twelve: Forgive me?

I fell asleep around 4 last night and I woke up this morning around 9 with a pounding headache. Jade left at noon after she got off the phone with her mom. She promised me she would come back tomorrow and check up on me. I checked my phone expecting a text from Harry or call but ended up wasting my time... 

I have so much I want to say to him. So many apologies, for all the times he had been there for me and I had ignored it, because it was easier to ignore my feelings than act on them. The thing that hurt the most was that I had lied to him. I knew he loved me, and I loved him, too. More than I was ready to admit. 

It kept me up at night because every time I closed my eyes, I'd think of him. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I have to keep my mind busy at all times because otherwise, I think of him and it hurts so much I wanna cry. I feel empty inside and nothing I can do can fill that space. No one could ever take the place of him. It always comes down to the fact that I can never be in love with another person the way I'm in love with him. I haven’t been able to shake these feelings I have for Harry. After spending so much time with him, I can’t help it... I’ve fallen for him. 

I heard a knock on the door. I walked over to the door pulling it open. My eyes widened when I saw him standing there. I couldn’t do anything but stare at him. Take in his features as if it’d been the first time I’d actually noticed them all over again. His hair was covered by a grey beanie, only a few curls sticking out of the sides. There was a bruise on his cheek from the fight. His eyes looked tired and had dark circles beneath them along with bags. It made me feel a little better to know that I wasn’t the only one loosing sleep over this. His lips were set in a straight line, and didn’t posses their usual raspberry color. He looked drained of all his energy, like he’d been over thinking just as much as I was. 

“Harry,” I breathed out, and I hoped I didn’t sound as desperate as I felt. He shuffled on his feet almost awkwardly and it brought me back to when he’d fumble over his words and blush madly whenever we spoke. I wanted to reach out and touch him, pull him close. But it was obvious there was a very thick wall standing between us, and the only one keeping it up was him. 

“Can I come in?” He asked, his voice groggy. I watched his lips move, barely parting as he spoke, and his eyes avoid contact with mine at all costs. I felt my heart sink a bit at the thought that he couldn’t even look at me properly, but I stepped aside anyways, opening the door further and allowing him into the place he’d been so many times before. He stepped inside and I shut the door, closing my eyes and trying to steady my breathing before turning to see him already looking at me intensely. I swallowed and had to stop myself from crying over how tense his features were. It was like if I made one wrong move he’d snap at any moment, and I’d never been even remotely scared of him until right now.

“Harry, let me explain-” He cut me off, my eyes snapping up to meet his instantly. He sighed and took a step closer to me.

"Explain what? How you lied about everything you feel for Adam? Or how you got in bed with Adam in the first place." 

“Harry, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, I was lonely and mad that you wouldn't come to the party... and I guess, I don’t know... I messed up, it just happened.” I said quickly, looking at him hopefully.

“Sex doesn't just happen. You almost slept with him!” His voice rising with each word, a fire in his eyes. He clenched his jaw and despite how angry I was, couldn’t deny how much I’d missed watching him do that. I hadn’t realized how close we were until I could feel his rapid breathes against my face. "At least I know the truth about you and him." 

"No you don't! I love you! Only you, and I'm sorry I lied to you.. I did have feelings for Adam. I don’t know why or how but I'm sorry." 

“Stop saying that! Stop apologizing!" He snapped and before he knew it, his hand clenched into a tight fist hitting the wall with a massive punch. He didn't even flinch as the sound echoed through the room. I swallowed hard, scared of what he was going to do next.

I took a step back, my blood running cold at the sharp, metallic sound of his voice. His green eyes narrowed and went almost black, and he stormed over to me, leaning into my face. I shuddered away, turning my face from him, biting my lip as tears threatened to fall. 

I looked at him to see his eyes full of anger. I took in a sharp breath. 

I punched the wall releasing my anger. Her face was pale and her lip quivered. It hit me like a ton on bricks. I realized I was scaring her and dropped my gaze. I didn't want to see the tears forming in her eyes. I immediately calmed down, I don't want her to be scared of me. This had effected her more than I had initially thought. It crushed me, seeing her like this. We are both miserable without each other. 

"April… I didn't mean to yell." I whimper quietly as the tears start to drop down her cheeks. She looks down and shakes her head, letting out a final, "I’m sorry" before sobbing quietly. I wrap my arms around her and sshhhh her. 

Her breathing was soft, her body was shaky and her skin cold. I tightened my grip on her and held her firm against me. Her scent lingered on my shirt as she closed her eyes in my arms. She let out a choked sob as I buried my head into her shoulder, swallowing the lump in my throat that had formed at the sight of her so upset.

"Thank you for being my hero."

"That's all I ever wanted to be." I hug her tighter, placing a kiss on her forehead. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, her voice muffled in my chest. 

"I'm sorry too, for everything I did. For not answering your calls, for saying all those bloody awful things... You didn't deserve that." She looks up and I peck her lips softly. She finally stops crying and smiles at me through the tears that are left on her face. 

"It's okay." 

"Promise me you won’t talk to him again." 

"I promise."

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