I want you, only you

"Come back to me." "..." "Just come back to me, this time I'll be the one to pick up the pieces." His eyes, his lips, his hands; every part of him begged.

Falling in love with your British 20 year old math teacher is not really that hard after all. But, this is one that SURVIVES. Through everything and the betrayals of family members/relatives of so-called-best-friends.

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It's the beginning of my senior year. Last year of being a teen. A messy girl. Who never cared about any crap. Still lost in the world. But, I knew better to hide my true side. Because then I wouldn't be what I am now. I am what I pretend to be. My true side is only for me to open up to myself in my private time. I am a girl who still has no clue what the hell she wants to do in her life!

I'm April. 17.

***

Me and my friends met at school at 8:00 AM. Thirty minutes before school starts.

"Hiii!!" I yelled to my friends in excitement as I went to our row of lockers. They all turned around and we did our thing. Abby, Haley, Summer and I placed our hands on top of each other.

"Let it be the Best Last Year!!" we yelled out loud and out of nowhere Gaber came and placed his hand on top of mine.

"YOLO!!!" he yelled out loud. We all laughed.

Gaber is the weirdness of the school. I liked that he was weird and so different from everyone else. He hides his true side, too. I think he's the only one that knows I have another side. Maybe not. I turned around to unlock my locker. As I was replacing my stuff to my locker, Gaber came by. Yes, he liked me. He always refuses it whenever people ask him, because he knows I would be annoyed. But, he told me once in 8th grade...

"Hi, Gaber..." I said after the awkwardness because, he only stared at my face. He smiled. I know this bullshit. He thought I was pretty. He was in love with me. I wouldn't except anything else. It just got sick in the end.

"Hello, April." he said smiling. I just knew it, he would have kissed me right then. But he knew better that I would be mad at him for kissing me in front of everyone.

"So how was your summer?" I asked, while placing my dark blue metal mirror and shelf to my locker.

"Ok. I guess. I went to New York... Oh by the way I bought you this." he pulled his back pack down his shoulder and opened the zipper.

"Dude, you know I don't like people spending money on me." I said. He smiled. He liked it when I called him dude. He took out a poster-like cover thing. The background was brown. Then there were colorful circles, small and large. I loved colorful things. And he knew that well. He gave it to me and I smiled.

"Nice choice." I told him.

"Glad that you liked it."

"I loved it." I said. He smiled.

"April! We're going to the Back." Haley said. The Back was the back of the school, like where the gangs hang out. But, we weren't a gang. And everyone in the school knew well that they weren't allowed there. Only the Class of 2017 is allowed. Well, after us... Who knows!

"Alright." I told her. Haley looked back once and went to the Back with the rest.

Gaber was smiling. He was happy and glad that we have some time alone before the Last Best Year actually starts. He took my hand. And we went to our own little place. We walked out the school gate and to the Rose Garden by our school. They had all kinds of colored roses there. I loved it. When we reached the Garden he ran and grabbed a dozen of Red Roses. He looked around to see if anyone saw. I laughed.

"You know you're not allowed to take flowers from here." I said laughing.

"We only have one life. And I choose to mess around and have fun in that one." he smiled and gave me the roses. I took them. We sat down on the grass on the far corner. He kissed me. The air was cold. Our breaths made it feel hot and sticky. We only had kissed once before; in the end of sophomore year.

Out of nowhere the bell rang. We jumped from the floor and started to run. We laughed along the way. We had the same classes for 1st, 3rd, and 7th period. We reached class right when the bell rang. We were breathless from running, and Haley and Summer seemed to know what was up with us. The very old teacher looked at us once and continued talking to the class.

We took our permanent seats in the back. He was my partner again for the year. I don't know why we're not going out. I mean he would have asked me to be his girlfriend if I told him I liked him, too. He didn't want to be the weak one. I just don't know.

I have only loved one guy and a half my whole life. One: Tristen. He broke my heart, he did bad. Fuck that bitch. And Gaber was the one who picked up the pieces in 7th grade. It was like my heart was cut into three pieces; 2/3 for Tristen. A half for Gaber and a half for all that other crap.

- Love... Itself is a though decision...

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