Secrets and Lies

Casey is a teenager with an amazing will to succeed. She is an incredible runner and is determined to enter a marathon. However it is not that easy. Her world is upturned as her friend's life begins to break down and only Casey can help, Casey is madly in love with a man she thinks will never want her and a sad turn of events results in a huge blow. But Casey is still determined to follow her dream...

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10. 1st June 2013

1st June 2013

It seemed after that episode that Amaya and I were closer than we had ever been before. We were invited to go to a party with Nyx, which to my parent’s oblivion meant with Cole too. Well I say invited, really we were forced to go to this party with Nyx to punish her for smoking. A few days ago, my parents caught her smoking in our back garden (not a clever move I must say) and grounded her. They don’t know the worst of what Nyx has been doing but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell them. However there was a party today that was Nyx’s ‘best friends’ party and because my parents actually approved of this girl, so she was allowed to go. On one condition, we went with her. As you could imagine she went ballistic but had to put on a sweet sickly little smile to convince our parents that she was as innocent as they thought she was.  So basically we had to go otherwise we were dead.

Personally I would have much rathered to stay on my sand hill that night but Amaya seemed really excited. “It’s the first time since dad’s left that I can really go out and do something fun. We haven’t really gone to a party since the incident.  I really want to go! Besides what other chance will we get to go to a mad party full of eighteen year olds? Come on, live a little!”

She had changed her tune since a couple of months ago, but hey if she was happy then I was too. “Okay, okay! I’ll show what it’s like to live a little!” I laughed back at her. The game was on!

****                                                                                                                     

We sat self consciously in the back of Nyx’s second hand ford ( which she was only allowed to use on specific occasions) whilst Cole was driving. I hadn’t spoken to him for a long time so I felt the awkward tension between us. He kept glancing in the rear-view mirror at me as if I was about to shout at him for not jumping down from the tree and saving me or that I was going suddenly get attacked again. He made me feel like I was a vulnerable and it was obvious that he didn’t think it was a good idea that I came to this party.

In the corner of my eye, I saw that Amaya kept smoothing down her beautiful cherry dress, like she thought it was too short. She had her hair in silky curls and wore strawberry lipstick and smoky eye shadow that contrasted perfectly with her skin. She looked stunning.

I kept catching glimpses of myself in a side-view mirror and saw somebody that I didn’t recognize to be me. My golden hair was luxuriously shiny and straight with no kinks in it at all, I wore a deep azure dress and black flats whilst my hazel eyes literally shone from behind my deep shimmery eye shadow, my lips were deep rose and my cheeks sparkled like the rest of my honey coloured skin. I looked so grown up.

By the time we reached the party it was already in full blow, the music blasting and extremely loud but with no neighbours to annoy as our destination appeared to be a huge beach hut lying on the snow white sand. Bright amber lights were dotted about on the sand whilst yellow, orange and red flames danced and dazzled me in the campfire. The party looked amazing, its golden glow making the velvet sky look deep inky blue but the moon stole the show shining bright white a perfect circle illuminating the passion that the party possessed.

I could see excitement and a little bit of fear radiate in Amaya’s face as we parked on the pebbles near the sand. “Now remember you two, don’t cause any trouble! Just keep out of our way and we will keep out of yours” Nyx told us assertively before getting out of the car. Cole seemed as bemused as us at Nyx trying to be grown because he laughed saying “Leave them alone Nyx! They’re 16 for God’s sake, not kids! Just have a great time” Winking at me, we walked towards the hut overpowered by the stench of sweat, testosterone, alcohol and maybe even weed. Panic slapped me in the face; I didn’t want to take drugs.

As if reading my mind, Amaya walked a little closer to me whispering in my ear “don’t worry we won’t take anything we don’t want to.” This relaxed me a little. Nyx’s friend Blaze welcomed us in the already claustrophobically cramped party, and soon we were lost in the party. Literally, we were pushed on by the ever moving, always dancing crowd until we found the little bar which was also crammed with people.

We got our drinks of WKD and started dancing caught up in the rapid pace of the party. It seemed that the whole of Loyola College was here as well as a fair few people from our year. Including Ethan. “Hey Amaya! Casey! I didn’t know you were coming!” he shouted over the music coming close to us with a bunch of his mates. He looked fit in his cobalt vest top that barley covered his nipples and his ripped white-blue jeans and was attracting a lot of attention from some other silly giggly girls next to the bar.

His friends weren’t bad looking either, one that practically caught my eye was a boy called Josh who looked like, just for a tiny second, the guy who had saved my life. However, after I blinked I saw he looked nothing like him. I was imagining things. Maybe I just wanted him to be here that badly. Of course he could never ever be seen at a teenage party especially this one.

Suddenly the music stopped, and silence pierced my ears. Nobody was talking, everyone was waiting for an explanation. And then I saw Blaze standing on a plastic chair higher than everyone else, and she interrupted the quiet. “How ‘bout a game of spin the bottle!” she roared obviously already drunk.  She was immediately met with an overwhelming amount of cheering and a lot of pushing and shoving followed until we were all sitting in a giant circle on the sand, with people from 16-25 all sitting cross legged, some leering and laughing others looking damm right frightened. And I didn’t blame them; some of the mingers on the beach looked too vile to even be in a 5 metre radius of let alone kissing them.

Me? I was squashed between a trembling Amaya and an inebriate lanky bloke who had long skanky hair and a gristly chin. I really hoped I wouldn’t have to kiss him.

As the game started I caught sight of Nyx and Cole cramped next to each other, Nyx entirely out of it sucking on a bottle of beer whilst Cole seemed more relaxed although he had that agitated look. When he noticed me he gave me a tight smile, and then looked away like it was painful to look at me. And that hurt.

The music started again, but this time was quieter but very face paced like it could feel the fear and excitement bubbling around the circle. Spin after spin people were forced to embrace, and some smooched eagerly either knowing each other, desperate or high. Others were more awkward about it, just lightly pecking each other if it wasn’t the sex they were interested in. This game matched people up though, as after some had made out I could see that they didn’t stop looking at each other constantly attracted to each other’s eyes and lips.  

I could see the terror in shining as bright as the fire in some people’s eyes; they really didn’t want to play this game. I didn’t want to kiss anyone if it wasn’t him. Soon Nyx was chosen by some lucky guy, someone in my year actually. Harry eagerly leapt up ready to kiss an older woman but as they met it was simply a short and sweet as Nyx pulled away after a second. Even though she was completely bladdered she still was loyal to Cole.

As the bottle spun around and around again and again it came to a halt very close to me. It pointed at Amaya. I could see her shaking slightly as she got up, but trying to remain confident she carelessly stepped toward the middle to meet a guy. Ethan. I could see in dilated eyes that he was attracted to Amaya, and his mouth formed an O-shape as the bottle chose her. Her tight red dress clung so snugly to her body, that Ethan wasn’t the only one hypnotised by her beauty.

He delicately leaned in for the kiss cupping her head in his hand as she gripped his waist. Fireworks exploded right before my eyes as they embraced for what seemed like an eternity, Ethan eyes closed and body language singing whilst almost everyone had stopped to watch blown away I guess. But Amaya’s eyes weren’t closed. Her deep brown eyes were wide open. Why would they open?

As they parted and Amaya sat back down, shaking again, she smiled at me as if saying ‘jealous?’. But I didn’t understand, not one bit. I wanted the game to end, the excitement lost like somebody had just turned off the music. Other people felt the same way, all ludicrously fumbling and fidgeting, I could tell people wanted to dance again.

And then on what looked like the last go, the bottle spun dangerously slowing down, closer and closer to me. It picked me. And the person who had spun it? With inky blue hair and unreadable grey eyes, it had to be Cole. I didn’t want to kiss my sister’s boyfriend it was wrong. Nyx obviously thought so too as she stumbled forwards shouting for us not to. But I don’t think any of the crowd cared; they just wanted us to get on with it. Cole and I were pushed forward and Nyx was pulled back her eyes boiling with rage and upset.

I told myself to just do it, a tiny kiss. That’s all they wanted. I think Cole knew there was no way out of it too, so stepped forwards until we were only a few centimetres apart. I didn’t want to do this. It was wrong. And although he knew that, he made the first move lightly moving my head up to face him. His eyes were huge and stormy, and I had no idea what was going through his mind. Leaning down our lips touched, and I thought we were done. But for a second too long it carried on, until it seemed I had to wrench my lips away from his unwilling to depart ones. It was my first kiss unless you counted the one with the man who rescued me from the sea. Then again that wasn’t really a kiss. But nor was this one. I wanted my proper first kiss to be special and to be with the one I loved.

As we walked away from each other I didn’t know what to do. Had I imagined the longing in his lips? Probably. But I just wanted to go home now; my partying mood vanished just like that. But Blaze had other ideas. “Okkaaaay, guys enough of that. Time to paarrrtyy!” she yelled and everyone ran back inside the music louder than ever before people jumping around like lunatics screaming their heads off to the rock music.

I knew Nyx wouldn’t want to go home yet, so I made my way inside willing for the day to end. I felt deflated and trapped. “Amaya, please can you wait just a minute?” I heard Ethan shout eagerly, grabbing Amaya’s hand and pulling her outside again.

I didn’t want to watch, I went away from them hiding in the cool shadows of the rocks near the water on the beach. Delicately I dipped my toes in the icy water relishing its sweet sharp temperature; at least it kept me awake. For a while I just sat there listening to the soft splashing of the waves, and as the night got colder I shivered wishing I had brought a jacket.

Secretly I looked over my shoulder, wondering if the love birds were still there. They were. They seemed to be talking earnestly to each other lost in their own bubble of bliss. I wondered if Amaya had forgotten me; but then I slapped myself for being so selfish. I should have been happy that Amaya and Ethan were getting on so well. It was a lot more than well, as they started snuggling and holding hands I had to tear my eyes away. Why wasn’t I cheerful? Maybe I was jealous that Amaya could find someone her own age, somebody suitable that she could be seen walking hand and hand in down the street without getting anyone in trouble. And I couldn’t.

My phone chirped from my bag and as soon as I opened it I knew I was in trouble. Heyy little sis. I hope that u don’t think u have any chance with Cole. He only kissed u cuz he had to. He’s mine, HANDS OFF! We’re leaving soon. It was from Nyx. She must have got someone else to type it because she seemed to off her head to even string together a few letter let alone a whole text. So she was jealous, very jealous.

Sighing, I lumbered over to the car trying not to look at them. But I couldn’t help it. As soon as I had got up Amaya was eating Ethan’s face off. Poor him, he looked so surprised. What was she trying to do? Make me envious of her? But I had already told her I wasn’t interested in Ethan. And what kind of friend would do that anyway? Maybe I had just got up at the wrong time.

By the time Cole arrived supporting Nyx while she clumsily staggered forwards to the car, it was 1 o’clock an hour later than our curfew. Oops. Mum and Dad had trusted us to come back in time, saying they wouldn’t wait up for us because Nyx was legally an ‘adult’ and she could look after herself and us. It was more like Cole looking after Nyx but never mind. If we quietly went to bed then they would never know about us being late back.

But I don’t think quiet was in Nyx’s vocabulary. Amaya got in the car just after Cole obviously just noticing we were leaving. I hadn’t told her, and why should I? She was too busy with her new (what I suspected to be) boyfriend to remember me, so why should I remember her? I didn’t understand why I was so livid. I was being stupid.

The atmosphere was bitter and stale as Cole drove us home ( I don’t think he consumed much alcohol), Nyx giving me angry looks, Amaya trying to make conversation confused of why I was being so cold with her and there was Cole who seemed to be look in the rear view mirror more than her looked at the road.

He dropped Amaya outside of her house, and we drove off yet still I hadn’t said a word to her. Maybe I would feel different tomorrow; it was probably just the alcohol making me angry. As Cole parked Amaya’s car in the drive way, and helped her out and up to the house, I could tell that he was uncomfortable. Whispering in Nyx’s ear then leaving without a word he walked off and down the street. I couldn’t help but wonder if he would be safe walking home in the dark all alone. But then I remembered that he was more than capable to take care of himself.

It was a miracle that we hadn’t woken our parents up by the time we were in bed because to me Nyx seemed incredibly loud as she thundered up the stairs, was loudly sick in the bathroom and finally snoring loudly from her bed. I wasn’t going to do that again in a hurry. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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