Out Of Darkness Into Light

My story is about four young people having complication with their life and also difficulties with their love life while growing up.

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17. Chapter 17.

 

 

                            Gavin P.O.V

 

    It was 7:00 PM and we were all in the restaurant. Tavi and matt, Me and nora. 

We were just talking about stuff. Just when everything was calm, matt said, 

"Hey man, i know that you and tavi used to..i guess be together but now that me and tavi kinda made things official, I just wanted to let you know." 

"Is that so? Well congratulations. And you didn't need to tell me. Me and tavi are just friends now." i said with a smile. 

I had to pull the face where i didn't look like i was hurt. I was made my self look happy for them. But we all know that truth, i well never be happy without her by my side. I love her.. 

The date ended in 2 hours. Longer then usual but tavi looked like she was having fun. I hate to admit this but i can't lie to myself. Maybe...maybe she is starting to like him. I mean making things official is kinda a big deal. But i'm a big boy i can handle a heartbreak. After all, like i've always said, love is just a big fucking illusion. 

 

Months passed by, i turned 19. And tavi finally turned 18. They've been together for almost a year. I honestly didn't have hope on life anymore. Although, i'v always put on a happy face in the public. I hated the idea of them being together. I hated the guy even though he didn't do anything to me. 

That evening, tavi had some "special news" for us so as we all gathered in the living room she began talking, " So me and matt have decided to go on a vacation. And as you guys know, we made it official for a long while now. But what i wanted to say is that, i'll be gone for a year. But brianna, i promise i'll call and let you in on everything. I just wanna leave here on good terms..with all of you. Even you gavin." 

"Oh my god! Wow, yeah i'm happy for you guys. Although a year is a long time and i wont be a able to see you, i'm not gonna be selfish, so go and have fun. I love you." said brianna. 

"Thank you baby! And like i said, i will check in. I promise. Love you." said tavi. 

"I'm happy for you sis, have fun without us." said steve smiling. 

"haha thanks, i will." she said smiling as well. 

Everyone turned around and looked at me. I guess i had to say something. 

"Gavin?" she said. 

"Um..wow i'm happy. Good luck with everything." i said just barley smiling. It felt like i'v been stabbed a hundred million times. 

"Okay, well i'm happy that everything is stable now. We will be going tonight at 10PM." said tavi. 

"Tonight?" i asked. 

"Yes, tonight." she said. 

"Aw, babe i'm so happy! And send lots and lots of pictures okay?" brianna said smiling. 

"Yes, for sure." tavi replied all exited. 

It was about 9:30 that we all were at the airport. 

She was whispering to Matt. I couldn't hear what she was saying though. 

"Gavin, can we talk..privately?" she asked. 

I didn't wanna say yes, but i didn't wanna say no. Honestly, in this situation, i didn't know what i wanted so i just said, " yes." And we went to the back of the airport. 

"This is all your fucking fault." she said. 

"I..i don't understand?" i said. 

"You still love me. I can see it in your eyes, Gavin. I just wanted to tell you that you've lost me." she said. 

I stayed quit. I didn't know what to say. I was paralyzed. 

"You know..we could have fucking had it all. But your fucking PRIDE ruined everything. Now go live your life without me because that's what i'm doing." she said. 

"You can't forget me. No matter how much you try. You love me too fucking much!. Oh and tavi..whenever he's in you, you'll think of me." i said. 

"You're right, i can't forget you yet Gavin. But i'm leaving for a year. I'm pretty sure a lot can happen in a year. Starting with, forgetting you and loving matt. And sweetheart, there wont be time for that." she said with a smirk. 

"Okay tavi, if that's really so, then why the fuck are we here, alone, talking? Can you explain that?" i asked.

"I just wanted to say goodbye." she said. 

"Oh is that so? i asked. "Alone? because as you can see, there's only us here. You fucking wanna kiss me. You know you do." i said with a smirk.

"We'll im sorry if i gave you the wrong impression Gavin but i just wanted to say goodbye." she said and as she walked away and grabbed her arm..hard.

"You're gonna leave without kissing me?" i asked. 

She came back. She came closer and touched my lips. She wanted to say something. But she didn't. She just simply walked away as a tear fell down my face. 

She left..with him. And just then, while i was watching her go away, i knew that she's not coming back. I knew that i lost her forever. And it's so unlike me to give up like this but this time, it just looks real. All i knew was that, that day i lost her forever. 

 

  Steve P.O.V 

 It had been 5 months since tavi had left. Gavin had been in his room all this time. He never went out anymore. Although, we lived in the same house, me and Brianna rarely saw him. We always checked up on him but there was a slight problem: he wouldn't talk. At all.

We all knew that tavi leaving was a big tragic in his life. Although we did everything we could to cheer him up, it just wouldn't work. He didn't even seem like he was listening while me and brianna talked to him. He was in his own world. He didn't eat much either. 

 

It was night, me and Brianna went in the bedroom. About 2 ours later, we heard him sobbing like a baby. Just once in these five months. 

"Baby..i think i should go see him." brianna said. 

"No..no don't. He needs to let it out. It means he's not on Drugs now and he's letting it out the normal way. Let him be. I know it fucking sucks babe, but just let him be ok?" i said. 

"But..but he's crying.." she said. 

"I know..i know he is baby but just let him be for now. At least he'll be a little empty." i said. 

"Okay..fine. If you think it's the right thing then okay." she said, looking worried. 

"Hey...it's new. It'll be okay. I promise he'll be fine ok? You just gotta trust me on this one." i said. 

"Yeah." she said. 

He was sobbing for straight 2 hours. That was the first time we have ever heard him sob like that. To be honest, i didn't know if i was doing the right thing not letting Brianna go talk to him. Maybe..just maybe he needs one of us there. But i really think he should be alone because he needs to let it out. 

Finally, he stopped. It was about 4/5ish. We tried to sleep but neither me or Brianna could. 

 

 

         Brianna P.O.V

 "How are you Gavin?  Look what i brought you." i said smiling. 

i brought him his favorite breakfast in a tray. 

"Look...i might not know exactly how you feel but i can understand what you're going through. Please just go easy on yourself. And stop with this fucking bullshit! You had quited for such a long time. Gavin please, for your own sake. I know that you're hurting but don't do this to yourself. What happened to the gavin that i knew? You're so fucking strong. You always were. You can do this. You can fight the feelings away. It'll be hard as fuck, im not gonna sugar coat it, but gavin, it'll be worth it in the long run." i said. 

Throughout this time, i honestly think i wasted my time. I don't even think he was listening. 

"Listen, i'll come back in an hour. Finish your breakfast okay?" i said. 

I left his room. 

"Baby, i don't wanna give up on him but what are we gonna do? He..he looks like he's getting worse and worse everyday. Now the only thing he knows, his only food, is drugs..drugs drugs drugs. I'm just so fucking tired and i don't know what to do. I just feel like i can do something but i just dont' know what and i..i.." as i was saying, steve cut me off " sh sh sh, brianna, you're doing everything you can. Honestly, we're doing everything possible. I don't know what to do either. I'm losing my bestfriend. I just know that in the end, everything has to be okay i mean we're THE 4. We can't just vanish like that. I mean tavi will get back in 6 months and everything will be okay again because she'll be here at least." he said. 

"Yeah but..isn't that kinda worse? She'll be here, yes but she'll be here with matt. Like..that's gonna make gavin go more insane then he is right now." i said. 

"Listen, we can't stress out just yet. Let's just wait. Since literally it's the only thing to do." he said. 

 

      Gavin P.O.V (Journal)

  She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. She'll come back. 

As of right now, it had been 5 months, and 4 days, and 10 hours that she'd been gone. I can just feel myself going mad. I can feel it. It feels like i'v been in prison for 5 months. I'm writing this right now because i wanna look at at after a few years and see just how much pain she'd put me through. I wanna re-live these times when i look at this notebook so i can hate her. I fucking hate her. I fucking hate her so much. I fucking...i can't anymore. I feel like i'm losing it. I'm shaking right now. I just...i don't know if i believe in hope anymore. She left me. She's gone. It's been 5 months that i haven't smiled or laughed. Every now and then i go look at myself in the mirror and see the guy i'v become. And i hate it. I feel like the only thing that's keeping me alive right now is this notebook.Maybe one day, I will fall out of love. I need to find the strength to let go. She's probably having the best time of her life while...while I'm here dying. I hope when the future me reads this, he'll finally realize that falling in love with tavi was the worst mistake of his life. I need to find an anchor to keep me from drowning.

 

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