Just Let Me Go.

Terra comes from a long line of prestigious women. Terra only has one dream, and everything seems to be holding her back. Can she let go of every thing and follow her dreams?

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7. The Letter

Terra

 

He insisted on driving me home even though he had no car, and honestly home was the last place I wanted to go. He helped me into the passenger seat of my poor excuse of a car, and I momentarily was embarrassed by its condition. He slid into the drivers side hitting his head on the top of the car and a curse word slipped out. He looked absolutely mortified apologizing and holding his head. I smiled and asked if he was okay, and he nodded slowly and turned on the engine of the car. All I could think of was home. Home was the last place I wanted to be, all of the painful memories had rested there waiting for me to walk through the doors. I gulped and stared aimlessly at the passing surroundings. W e reached my driveway and I asked him to park on the street, I did not intend on staying for very long. I sat in the seat silently and he turned to speak but before he could I asked, "How fast can you pack boxes?" He looked confused and shrugged. I bit my lip and stared up at the attic that had been my sanctuary for so long. 

 

James 

 

The crazy look in her eyes made my heart skip a few beats. She was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. I heard her ask me something but I just stared at her and shrugged my shoulders having no clue what she had just asked me. She opened her door and beckoned for me to follow along. I cautiously got out of the car and ran across the yard to catch up with her taking in the huge house before us. She unlocked her door  and invited me in. I stood in awe of the house, so beautifully clean and kept, unlike my house. She disappeared telling me to make myself at home. I heard a door slam and I heard feet going down stairs. The silence that followed made the house seem uncomfortable. The clock on the mantle clicked, and I shifted my feet deciding to look around. The photos on the wall all showed Terra's family, but Terra wasn't there. No pictures of Terra were found in any of the beautifully crafted frames. I sat on a stiff sofa and admired the paintings on the opposite wall. 

 

Terra

 

The basement was cold and smelled strongly of mildew. I hoped that no one had moved the boxes that I had brought home from school last year. I searched the shelves finding various pictures of myself and Tyler that I had not seen since he died. I took the box with the pictures in it and I set it on the steps. Tyler was my best friend, there was no way I was leaving his memories in this house of lies. I found my boxes sitting where I had left them unmoved. I lifted them off the shelf to find a letter taped to the shelf underneath where the boxes were. I put the boxes on the stairs, and sat against the wall and opened the seal of the envelope. The letter was lengthy but my family would not be coming home until late so I started to read. 

"Dear Terra,

            By the time you read this it will be too late. I know you have suffered here and I wish I could go back and change the way things were but I can't. You're mother and I are going through tough times and I know that she takes it out on you. It isn't fair for me to ask you to stay but I wish you would. Things will get better, God is the only one who can change a person and I am confident that your mother will come back around. Terra there is no excuse for our behavior towards you, your mothers abuse and hatred for you, and my neglect but I need you to know that I love you. I don't know what I am going to do without you, but I know that you need to do what is best for yourself. I remember taking long walks with you and Tyler a long time ago, telling stories and enjoying one another's company. Carrying you home because you were too tired to walk. I remember you falling asleep in my arms, and I remember when the nurse handed you to me in the hospital. You were so small, and I was so scared that I was going to break you in half. Tyler's death took a lot of things from us Terra, most importantly it took your mother away and left us with a woman who is angry at God for taking him, and at you for living. Tyler's death took you, my baby, away from me, and I am so sorry that it has come to this Terra, and I again wish that life could have dealt our cards differently. I know you are leaving, I am not ignorant of this fact. I ask that you make wise choices and contact me frequently. I found the acceptance letter in your drawer Terra, I also read the entries in your diary and I realized that your departure was inevitable. Please don't be angry Terra, you have shut me out for so long, that I needed to know what you wanted from me. I still can't believe you got into Harvard and Princeton! I am so proud of you. I have enclosed a bank card and keys to a new life in the enclosed envelope and I hope you are confident in your choices. The bank card is the money I have been saving for you and for Tyler since your birth. Your mother has no knowledge of this account, I made that certain. The current balance of the account is also enclosed in the envelope. I hope to make your transition into your new life a safe, and a happier one. I miss the smile that Tyler's death took from your face. Smile a lot Terra, and don't give up on God. I will always love and support you. Please remember that I am here, and I am rooting for you. Please don't freeze me out again.

 

Love,

Dad

 

James

 

Terra came back upstairs in tears. She had brought up boxes, and she dropped them on the floor by the door. She sat on the sofa across from me and she cried as hard as she could. I let her cry until she was finished. I asked her if she needed a drink and she just nodded. I stood up and tried to find my way blindly to the kitchen walking into several wrong rooms. I finally found it and pulled the fridge door open. I poured two glasses of lemonade and took them back into the sitting room. Terra clenched the papers that were in her hands and she took the lemonade gulping it down. I saw her glance at the clock and she stood up as I finished the last of mine. "Coming?" she asked handing me some boxes, and I stood and followed her up the maze of stairs. We walked up three flights of stairs and she stopped opening a door that lead into a bathroom. I stopped awkwardly running my hand through my hair and lurked in the hallway as she frantically threw her possessions into the empty box in her hand. She didn't have much to pack from the bathroom and it only took a minute before the bathroom was empty. She motioned me in and asked me to shut the door behind me. She locked the door and she pulled a string on the ceiling that I thought was a light. Stairs descended from the ceiling as she climbed up taking the box with her. I hoisted the rest of the boxes with me as we entered the saddest place I had ever seen.

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