Soul Siren (OneDirectionFanFiction:HarryStyles/OC)

She was the winner of The X Factor Philippines. It was the only detail we were told about the artist that was lined up to be the opening act for our upcoming world tour. Simon made it clear that we don’t Google her even before we get to meet her, let the girl introduce herself to us so to make her more interesting to work with. We can’t help but get curious of course. What made her so special that Simon was so interested and invested with this certain local artist and get her signed to work with a huge name like us, One Direction?

None of us expected that the artist we’ll be working with would somehow clash with our happy-go-lucky personalities. We were not told that the girl had a very bittersweet past and that her life was not all about fame and fortune after she won The X Factor a year ago.

We didn’t expect that we will meet someone like Makie Romero, a soul siren.


25. Drabble: Like Fire and Rain

Author’s Notes: Technically, this update isn’t a chapter for Soul Siren. Not very necessary to the whole plot of the story, but this is quite an important drabble for some the characters in the story, mainly for Louis and Niall’s. You can read it or if you’re not that interested with Harry’s favorite Oompa Loompa, then don’t. It’s your choice. But then I promise, if you do read it, you won’t be disappointed.




Andie Tiu wasn’t the biggest fan when they met her for the first time.


Or maybe it was safe to say Andie Tiu wasn’t even a fan of One Direction when she met them.


When she met Harry Styles, she almost got herself fired for massive verbal abuse (read: Chapter fifteen: Miracle Worker). Technically, and well, thankfully, Harry Styles wasn’t her client so she got away clean with being labeled as an undesirable on a foreign country in just a matter of hours she’s there.


When she met Liam Payne, she told him, “You make me feel like I suddenly need to be religious, kneel down on both of my knees and confess ever sin I made for the last twenty years of my life. And you’re on a boy band, that’s just worse.”


When she met Zayn Malik, she told him, “You’re not human. I’m a 100% sure about that…though I might still need to do a full body examination so to confirm. Boy, I bet I will discover the eighth wonder of the world underneath those pants.” (Maybe she did like Zayn at first, but it change ten seconds later because she then got intimidate by the reality that he’s more attractive than most girls)


When she met Josh Devine, she told him, “Girl, you bang drums like a dude! You’re probably good in bed- …Oh, wait… you’re a guy. Whoops. I thought I’m going lesbian. Dang! Awkward!”


When she met Louis Tomlinson, she told him, “Are you serious with your life? If I wasn’t in a hurry, I’d strangle you to death.”


When she met Niall Horan, she told him, “I don’t understand the language of gibberish. Please, shut up.”


Then maybe it was just really safe to say that Andie wasn’t most like any other girls they met, or even worked along with. When you get to look at her, she basically doesn’t spell kickass spunky chick with that much angst in her personality. Badass won’t ever come across your mind. You won’t even call her a chick because you’d think she’s not even legal yet. Calling her a chick would be a crime, or a mortal sin, because you’d think she’s just between twelve or fourteen. None of the boys would even give her a second look because she was just plain, and for a fact that they though she was Makie because of their similar petite structure, and small height. Only, Makie was noticeably prettier than Andie up close.


Everything just changed when Vanessa introduced Andie to be her assistant, less the truth about her real profession and that she’s actually Makie’s personal nurse. Liam, Louis, Zayn and Niall all noticed how Andie and Harry were buddies already. Nothing that shocked them anyway, Harry’s just always friendly and warm when it comes to girls. That and they didn’t know Harry was basically asking Andie to help him to get to know what’s really behind everything about Makie Romero.


So over the past days, and as the tour went on, Andie Tiu became just another team member.


But there was something about Andie Tiu that caught their attention. She was different -both in good ways and bad ways.


They noticed how she wasn’t the typical assistant like they thought she’d be. She’s beyond their standards. She does her job quite seriously. With the entire ruckus going on the whole team on every show, she’s the only one who’d be calm and would actually think before executing her actions. None of Uncle Simon’s assistants would smile at them if they asked to do small favors like buying mints from a convenient store or run to get coffees from Starbucks or buy breakfast from McDonalds because they’d get mobbed. Andie does everything without complain, says it’s her job -they don’t need to ask please if she could because without a doubt, she would because a job’s a job- which really isn’t true. Her job should be focused mainly on Makie’s, yet she’d make sure to take care of the bigger crowd. She’d make sure the boys’ names don’t all get mixed up with their coffee orders. She even buys Liam happy meals –says if he can’t be a saint, at least give him a toy as a reward for that big heart he has.


She’s a good observer. Whenever Vanessa asks her to give some reviews about Makie’s performance, she’d give her good and reasonable pointers back. She won’t fail on noticing details like minor off keys from her back up band and help them fixed it. She’d help everyone, -from reorganizing the entire wardrobe with Lou Teasdale or chat with Paul Higgins and the other security personnel so they don’t get bored somehow. Josh was even fascinated with her when she showed him she could actually play the drums.


She was smart. It was probably the best of all the qualifications about Andie Tiu. Got answers to random questions they throw on her. The boys watched her tutor Makie, so patient and just have an answer to everything they asked her. Even they can’t help but listen to her whenever she explains things to Makie, saying if they did have time, they’d like to learn with her because Andie would pass as an excellent teacher. She got Zayn to actually believe and pretty much petrified when she explained a very detailed speech of what were the possible effects of smoking to a person’s body. Even showed him a disgusting diagram of a mutated looking human slash monster looking picture that actually showed everything she told him, which made Zayn not touch a single stick of cigarette in weeks after it.


Andie was the kind of girl they typically didn’t expect to meet and be friends with. Something different about her suddenly seemed to be very interesting, especially for the two of the lads that were quite smitten of something beyond words about her.


Louis knew it was wrong, but something about Andie Tiu caught his interest. A silly crush on the tiny Filipina was it, he believed. Only, as the days went on that he enjoyed fooling around, pissing Andie with his overall presence in general, he’s slowly realized that it wasn’t just a simple admiration anymore. He’s slowly forgetting the fact that he’s got himself a girlfriend, haven’t felt the longing for Jessica, the girl the whole world knew to be his girlfriend for months, ever since his attention got caught to Andie’s and how every single day they were with her on the road, he feels like wanting to be always close to her and just know everything about her. She played sports, something that Jessica didn’t. She won’t hold it back by blowing at him whenever she’s angry at him, something Jessica never did. Louis didn’t even listen to Harry when he’s finally noticed how there’s something different with the way Louis pays attention to Andie, which summed up almost everything he doubted himself. He was slowly falling for Andie Tiu.






To: Andie Tiu (+000643654321)

From: Harry Styles (+000643123456)     

Told yah you’re coming with us on the TCA’s! :D


There was a debate going on inside my head while I stared at the message I just received. This one is certainly not part of my job description.


I heard a series of knocks coming from my room door. It just gave the debate in my head a kick of reality.


“Andie! AAAAANNNNDDDIIIIIEEEE!” an obnoxious voice, so loud, rang all over the place. “Andie! It’s Louis! Let me in!”


Great. He’s like the last person I picture to hit me with the news.


Shrugging, I just opened the door and saw a grinning Louis on the doorsteps. The smile stretched so big it almost ate his face. What’s with him and grins every time I see him anyway? It’s like he’s always high. “’ello!” he greeted, yet I didn’t say a word, just a frown and a confused slash annoyed stare back. “Not expecting me, do you?” he asked.


“I’d rather have Niall hit me with the ball again.”


“Oh, still bitter with Niall, I see. Anyway, you’ll love what my agenda really is!”


Still frowning, I asked, “Care to explain?”


“Won’t you let me in first? Aren’t you Filipinos known for being hospitable to guests?”


“First of all, this isn’t my house or even my room to invite you in. And I have to see what you’re up to beforehand. You don’t have any weapons underneath those tight jeans of yours, do you?”


“Oh, I have a gun loaded down right here, babe.” Louis said as he shot me with a wink. “Nah! I’m just kidding! Lou sent me to find you so I can give you your dress.”


“Dress? What dress?”


“I though Harry already told you? You’re coming with us on the Teen Choice Awards!”




I stared at the message Harry’s sent me once again, then back at Louis, and finally, I noticed the white paper bag in his hands.


This is definitely not a part of my job.


“Lou made me pick this for you too, so strip down and let me see how it looks on you.”


“I’m not stripping in front of you, sorry.”


“Fine. But really, at least let me see how it fits you.”


“You really scream ‘gay’ to me, Tomlinson. I’m finding it hard to believe you’re actually straight by doing this.”


“Shut up, woman. I’m doing this for you to like me.”


I froze before I snapped back at him. “What did you say?”


“Nothing.” But I just heard- “Look at this!”


He took something from the paper bag, a black fabric that was the dress he’s been saying.


I am certainly not going to strip for that, or go out in a show live in fifty other countries wearing that at all.


It was a simple yet elegant black dress. The bodice was corseted, had shimmery glitters on it with a thin lace straps with stones as well. The dress looked short and would probably reveal an ample amount of my chest which I certainly know I don’t even have.


“No.” was the only response I could say back to Louis.


“What? You don’t like it?” he asked, obviously taken back.


“I… I… No. Look, this is really a beautiful dress, tell that to Lou, but I don’t think I’d look good on that.”


“How would you know that if you haven’t even tried it on yet?”


Just so you know, the look Louis was giving me was so close to him tearing my top off.


Not gonna happen.


“No. I haven’t even said that I’m going.”


“Of course, you are! Vanessa can’t come so it’s your job to look after Makie.”


“But is it necessary to be in this? Can’t I just go with some jeans and blouse?”


“Oh my God, you’re not as smart as I think you are. If you don’t go and change now, I’ll have Niall and Harry here to help me get you in that dress!”


Told you he’s thinking something in that manner! Bastard.


Before I could even start an argument again, Louis managed to shove me at the changing room with the black dress in my arms.


It took Louis’ rants and thirty whole minute’s tops before I finally managed to take the skinny jeans and loose shirt off my body and let the sheer fabric of the dress give shape to my body.


I wasn’t ready for this, especially with someone like Louis Tomlinson waiting for me outside.


“Um, Louis?”


“Finally! Thought you died there! Do you want me to come in or do I have to destroy the door?”




I turned around, only to hit my forehead with the door because Louis managed to barge in without telling me.


“Andie! I’m sorry! It’s just that you’re so-,”


I don’t know what’s with the dress but it made Louis speechless.


I could feel his eyes all over me. His look, so intense, made me uncomfortable, having us together to be locked on a small changing room added to my anxiety. No one ever knew about my claustrophobia.


“Told you it looked horrible on me. I’ll take this off so you could return it back to Lou’s.”


But Louis held my hand even before I could shove him out. “What are you talking about? Andie…it fits perfectly on you. You…you look beautiful.”


“I don’t appreciate you lying, Tomlinson.”


“But it’s true! Why are you like that, eh?”




“Come on… do you want me to sing ‘What Makes You Beautiful’?!”


“Fuck no. Get out, I’m stripping.”


“Wait, I-”



“Can’t I just go with Simon Cowell instead?”


Vanessa looked horrified with my suggestion. “Err…only if it’s not a date.”


“It’s a business meeting.”


“On a Saturday night?”


“Andie, why don’t you want to go to the award’s show? You’ll see a lot of young stars there.”


“Please, I’ve had enough stargazing on this tour.”


“I need you to look after Makie.”




“Might I just remind you that even though we’re family, I am still your boss and that you signed up for this?”


“I certainly did not sign up for that awards show.”


“Really, what’s your problem with Teen Choice Awards?”


I let out a deep sign and confessed, “I don’t want to wear that dress Tomlinson gave me!”


Vanessa looked at me, befuddled, and questioned me back, “Louis gave you a dress?”


“Well, technically it’s not from him. He said Lou told him to give it to me so I can wear it for the show.”


I then showed Vanessa the black dress that was hanging on the dresser.


“That’s not Lou’s” Vanessa said nonchalantly.


“What do you mean?”


“I believe Louis bought you this dress.”


“What? Why would a prick Louis Tomlinson buy me a dress? It’s from the wardrobe. He just gave it to me.”


“That dress is Gucci. Lou wouldn’t have that on the wardrobe and let a personal assistant wear it.”


“He bought me this dress?! Why the hell would he do that?!”


“Isn’t it obvious? He fancies you.”








“You can’t back down anymore. You need to go to the award show.”


“Just because the dress is Gucci?”


“Just because Louis just gave you a dress to wear. Why are you so clueless with this? It means he wants to take you to the TCA’s as his date.”


Damn that TCA shit. I wish Kodak theater burns to ashes tomorrow.





But unlike Louis, Niall didn’t see it coming for himself. Him and Andie, they just always clashed with everything. He even can’t remember the time they didn’t argue about a small thing. The boys even believed that Niall and Andie would single handily start World War III with all their ridiculous rants with one another. They’d fight over food. They fought with about how they matched kicks one time. They’d fight about how Niall called their fans ‘crazy mofos’ because Andie said their fans was just really mental crazy, period. She won’t even let him win with a stupid football match, neither would him. He didn’t like her spunk and attitude. She didn’t like him in general. And that’s it.


Then out of ordinary, things with Niall and Andie became somewhat like a Disney Channel original movie. Suddenly, it was like fate wanted them to see one another on a different perspective. Fate hammered it most to Niall –hit him so hard that one morning, after when he woke up, he noticed something different with himself –Andie Tiu was the kind of girl he’d call his princess.





Sammie, Makie’s make-up artist, looked proud of what she managed to transform me. Yeah, transform would be the correct word to use, because I certainly don’t look like the usual me anymore. And with the tight fitting Gucci dress I’m wearing, it was really hard to believe I could ever look like this.


“I can’t back down now, can I?” I asked her.


Sammie just shook her head at me and said, “Not anymore, darling. I can hear your date coming.”


“Psh, what date? I certainly don’t have a date-,”


Sammie and I heard the door bang open, right in the corner of my eyes, I saw a pissed Niall darting inside the room.


“Holy mother of fried potatoes! What’s taking you so long?!”


I shot him a glare and stood up from the chair. “Calm your tits, I’m done.”


Niall didn’t say a word. Shocker. “Oi! Don you stare at me like that! Didn’t your mother tell you that it’s rude to stare?!”


Sammie just watched us bicker. But I then saw her smirk and said, “Don’t ruin your make-up. I want to hear some after party story when you get back, okay? Make sure to bag a hot lad. I heard Nick Jonas is single, or you can try and seduce Joe Jonas too. I don’t like the girl he’s dating now.” She said before she kissed me o the cheeks and left.


Me? Seduce? And who the hell are Nick and Joe Jonas anyway?


Soon after the make-up artist left, I looked back at Niall with my eyebrows cocked, “Now what? Why are you here?”


“I…um…well, the boys told me to go and call you because we’re leaving in ten minutes.” He explained. “You’re, uh, you look-”


He didn’t get the chance to tell me anything else because my cellphone rang with Vanessa’s ringtone. “Save your word, Horan. I have ten missed calls from Nessa. Let’s go!”



Being alone in a foreign country is scary.


Being alone in a foreign hospital in some foreign land is way scarier.


I knew I looked horrible; my make-up smeared with a beaten red cheek I really hope won’t turn purple or bruise. My hair disheveled from all the crazy things that happened tonight. My bare feet cold against the sterile floors of the hospital, the black heels I previously wore now lying next to it. The tightness of the dress I was wearing constricted the sobs coming from my chest. I wanted to peel it off my body as soon as possible, but it wasn’t the only problem I have.


Warm salty tears fell from my eyes and it directly poured down to my clutched fist holding some fabric of the skirt.


I should have never worn it anyway. I shouldn’t have come out with Makie and the boys. It’s entirely my fault.




Even though his hand held my trembling ones, I didn’t turn around. I wasn’t ready to face anyone. I don’t want them to see me in this state. “Andie, come here,” his soft loving voice broke me into more tears as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in to a warm hug. “Please, don’t cry…” I then felt his lips kissed the top of my head and have his hands caress my back, so comforting, I couldn’t even feel him and I in a hospital, full of on lookers who’s asking who’s that girl crying in Niall Horan’s arms.


Niall then held me on my face, his thumbs traced my cheeks, slowly wiping the tears that streaked down on it, “Andie, don’t blame yourself. She’s going to be fine. Please, my heart can’t bear it to see you like this.”


I shouldn’t be his main concern. I shouldn’t be anyone’s concern at all. Yet, with the way Niall held me, wrapped in his arms, and whisper to me words so loving and full of worry no one has ever done before, I asked myself, why is Niall suddenly this way?


Was I worthy of this?


“I… I… I don’t know what to do. If something happens to Makie… oh my, God,”


“Don’t say that. I’m sure Makie’s going to be fine. She’s a tough girl. Please, Andie, don’t blame yourself.” Clearly, Niall didn’t know Makie.


I felt his thumb once again brushed my cheeks, laid softly on the spot where I was slapped. “Does it hurt?” he asked.




“I’m okay,” I lied.


Yet Niall didn’t believe me. “Everyone knows I won’t hurt a girl, but when I saw Taylor laid her fucking hand on you, there was nothing more I would like to do but to slap her back, Sabina too. If Makie didn’t come up front and fell off the stairs, Taylor would be the one in the hospital now.”


“And you’ll be the one in prison instead. No.”


“I want to hurt her because she had no right to hurt you. She called you with something awful, something you don’t ever deserve. She called you ugly. That dumb bitch called you ugly! I can’t bear it myself that she called you that when in fact you’re the only girl in that damn show that caught my eyes out of the sea of people while I was up that stage.  You’re beautiful, just fucking gorgeous in every single way. Everyone needs to know that.”


My face was inches away from him. No one has ever made me feel this way. Why is Niall acting this way?


But even though my mind was boggled with thoughts, there in the back of my mind, I was thinking, maybe I should have kissed him.


“Andie, I-”


Niall didn’t get the chance to continue on because Louis came staggering towards us, with Liam, Lean, Zayn and Velvet on tow.


Louis pulled me off Niall’s arms and enveloped me around his own. “Andie, I was so worried about you. Are you okay? Does something hurt?”


Though Louis wrapped me under him, I had my face turned on the side, looking at Niall’s disappointed expression.


I should have kissed him.


And it would have been worth it.   





But even before things around her started to get complicated, Andie Tiu has set in her mind that she wasn’t travelling half way across the globe to find and fall in love like some heroine in a sappy romance adventure story. She took Vanessa’s offer to work along Makie Romero and One Direction because she needed a job. She took the job to tell her parents she wasn’t a book of failure in the line of Tiu’s. Though working abroad with her former stepmother with a young trauma patient -along with the biggest boy band today- wasn’t a job she expected, the feeling of finally having something that her parents would be proud of her made the whole job less of a worry. She’s working. She finally has a job that paid her well enough and has the perks no nurse would get if she stayed in the Philippines. A job, though very draining most of the time, was fulfilling, having to see people around her fascinated of how she could do all of it with no complaining at all.


Other than Vanessa, no one ever knew about her life back home. “Just a waste of time,” she says when somebody asks her what was the kind of family she grew up with. Nobody knew Andie Tiu came from a Chinese family whose well off, with riches she, herself, never cared for because it was what tore their family apart. Nobody knew Andie Tiu came from a family of overachievers. She grew up on a household with every family member has something grand to brag about whenever there’s a family function, and there she was, a graduate of the suckiest course ever considered in the Philippines, with less opportunities lined up for her future. All her life, she was pressured to do better, be better than everybody else, be the best among the rest or get compared nonstop.


She strived. Believe me, she truly did. Never got the chance to have a normal childhood because she was in every lesson her mother signed her up. Took ballet lessons even though she’s the clumsiest of all the girls you’d ever meet, took music lessons even though she sounds like a banshee on a killing spree, took karate class that only ended with her on the hospital bed for two weeks. Never got the chance to mingle out and have friends ever since she went to school because her parents declined her, told her she doesn’t need friends because kids nowadays don’t know the meaning of responsibility, the word she’s always been reminded to upheld in her brain. She did everything they told her, only that sheltered life didn’t do any good for her.


It took toll once college started. Andie Tiu has a passion for caring other people, always dreamt of being a nurse someday after reading Florence Nightingale’s autobiography, the mother of nursing. She didn’t want to pursue anything else, so passing the entrance exam for the college of nursing in a well-known school was a dream come true for her. But her happiness didn’t last even a whole day once her father knew about it. Why did she want to add on to the thousands of unemployed nurses on the country, he asked, when she could take Political Science and be a lawyer, or learn about Business management and Marketing instead of working for people when she could be a head of one of the hundreds of business firm they owned? Her own father didn’t understand her. No one ever did. By that time, Vanessa Lim was her father’s newest wife, making her Andie’s third stepmother after her biological mother left her womanizer of a father after a stupid argument over money too, leaving Andie in the custody of her father and the line of women he marries off and divorces after a year, three years, Vanessa was the longest, taking her five whole years later to realize that she couldn’t stand Andie’s father anymore. Nobody ever supported her with her decisions, even her own relatives make fun of her and how they foresee no clear future for her. By the time she graduated college, her biological mother came back and once again married her father.


It was the night of a family event that Andie Tiu has finally snapped. Been told that she didn’t ever deserve the name of a Tiu was her breaking point. She had enough. Took enough money and left without asking anyone’s permission. She needs to get away. Away from the family who never showed love or support for what she wanted for her life. Away of her egotistical family who did nothing but to put her down because she didn’t live off to be what they wanted for her own life. Away from the cold shelter that made her this way, -a cold, numb, broken girl with a closet full of insecurities.


Leaving for London after getting a call from Vanessa was like a saving grace. Vanessa was the only person who didn’t treat her less for what a living person should deserve. She was the only person who knew the real Andie Tiu, a lost girl with a burble of fragile feelings inside her cold, highly guarded heart.


And this was her reason why she owed Vanessa a lot. She believed that Vanessa was the last person she has that doesn’t think of her as a walking failure.


But then she met Makie Romero, the girl she was supposed to take care of, became a living embodiment that she wasn’t the only girl that has the worst problems in life. Makie was just so much like her, minus the fact that Makie is a winner of a talent show but suffers from post-traumatic amnesia after an accident only a few ones really knew about. She doesn’t want a recollection of everything about her past, though the only tragic part of it was losing her father and their happy memories. Though she doesn’t know half as much as Harry does about Makie Romero, Andie could relate so much to her, pursuing the craft she wanted but never be held back by anyone, not even her past.


And her new, free life outside her family didn’t stop with just Vanessa and Makie. Though she didn’t particularly know about them before, and that she met them individually in the weirdest way ever, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan, the boys of One Direction became the friends never in a lifetime she’d expect to ever have.


Only, Andie never expect that two of those boys she acts bitchiest with would feel something more for her.





Liam, Zayn and Louis asked Niall to take me back to the hotel we’re staying at.


Niall haven’t said a word to me, yet he kept me close to him on the drive back. His hands never let go of my own. And for the first time in that night, I felt safest.


He walked me up until we reached the door of hotel room Makie and I shared. “Niall, I’ll be fine. You should go to your room and take a rest too.”


But Niall didn’t listen to what I told him. Instead, he pulled me inside the room, until I didn’t realize that I was leaning against the wall, blocked by Niall’s towering body, only inches away from being pressed with mine.


He didn’t let me move. I wasn’t even able to speak, or move, or think at the least. I was slowly getting lost on the stare of his blue eyes that bore right through my glossy ones.


It was a little too late for me to ask what he wants because by then I felt Niall’s hands trailing up my dress’ skirt. Even before I knew it, he already pushed the hem of the skirt too far only to have his fingertips trace that part of my skin I’ve always been ashamed off.


“Are these…”


 I didn’t know what to say. How could I even explain something like it to someone like him? Niall was the first person to ever see them, let alone touch me underneath the clothes I wore.


“Andie, do you hurt yourself?”


His eyes showed disappointment and worry while his fingertips stayed in the traces of scars in my legs. “Andie… did you do this to yourself?” he insisted on asking.


“Niall, these were from… I haven’t done this for some time.” I confessed.


I couldn’t look at him in the eyes, but I could feel Niall’s remained staring at me, just waiting for me to spill the whole story. But I couldn’t.


Without expecting it, Niall’s arms suddenly wrapped around me, enveloping me with the musk scent I just noticed he wore, intoxicating me to fall to this bold way he committed. I couldn’t explain why, but his touch and comfort broke me to tears while my face was buried in his chest. His touch felt like the very first time the touch of a blade cut through my skin. How was it possible that Niall made me feel his way? It felt like once again, fresh drawn blood poured out of the scars. It didn’t hurt, I couldn’t feel pain, and there was more like comfort that every burden inside my chest was suddenly gone.


I’m a mess, a huge fucking mess. It was the only way to describe me. I should have never believed that running away would make a change, for me, for my life. Whatever path in life I choose I’ll just be a complete disaster. Nothing would ever change that fact.


I felt broken all over again, yet it was like Niall instantly felt that I would be and just held me there, so delicately, just so to not let me completely shatter to pieces.


“Andie, why did you do it?” his whispers tickled my ears as he directed straight to that sensitive part of my skin in the neck.


He didn’t let go. His face was mere inches away from mine. Tears streaked down my face as I looked up at him. I wanted to bawl right in front of him, but I manage to compose myself. These were secrets I’ve hidden to everyone, not even Vanessa knew it, and he managed to break through me. The fact that this was the first time Niall and I ever had a decent talk without screaming at each other, the first time someone stood so close to me, would be something I’ll never forget.  I could feel how his breath hitched in his throat with the inches that were our gap in between our bodies.


For the first time in years, I felt my heart beat fast. For the first time in my life, someone made me feel something that could be what they call love.


I felt his hand cup my face while his thumb once again brushed the fresh tears away and caressed me like a fragile porcelain doll.


“Please believe me. I haven’t done it for some time. It’s like a year ago was the last time I ever hurt myself.” I told him back.


“But what made you decide to do this to yourself?”


For a second, I contemplated if I really should share my story to Niall. But the words came out of my lips even before I could ask myself again. “It started when I was in college. I don’t know what started it, but only I have so much in my chest. Frustrations, defeat, shame in me for not living on my family’s expectations. I don’t know what to do. They piled up and needed then to burst, but I don’t know what to do. They numbed me from everything around me. The first time I held a blade, my original intention was to bleed profusely to death. I wasn’t afraid to die alone. I was ready to die alone. Only, the first cut didn’t hurt. I couldn’t feel it. But as I watched the blood flow right out of my wrist, I somehow felt the ache in my chest left a little space for me to breath, a space for air in my lung for me again to live. And that was why I thought it was good. And that’s why whenever I fail something, whenever my parents or relatives announces that I’m off to nowhere in my life, I cut or hurt myself. There are more than fifty scars there and the only one on my wrist, those were the number of times I questioned, was I worthy of life?”


The look Niall gave me back indicated that he’s scared of what a girl I truly am, but I couldn’t stop explaining everything to him. “I felt like no one was there for me. No one ever knew I beat myself for not satisfying my family. I lived a lonely life back home, Niall. No one was there to ever understand me. All this time, I believed I wasn’t worth anything, and that’s what makes me who I am now. I tried, and tried, and tried, but I’m only human. After everything I did, I just got tired. I’m so tired of this. I’m tired of being broken over and over again.”


He didn’t say anything back to me.


But instead, he leaned his face towards mine until I finally felt his lips press on the side of my mouth. So close and just so delicate that I had to linger my lips against his for a little while just so to feel that it was real, and that it was really Niall making me feel this.


“You are worthy of life.” Niall softly whispered against my lips.


“You are worthy of love.” he again let his lips fall on the other side of my mouth, pressed it so light it was like his kiss were ghostly –it was like it didn’t actually touch my lips but I could feel it.


“And from now on, I will not stop from reminding you every day that you are worthy of everything you deserve, Andie.”


A kiss on the lips didn’t happen. Something I hoped that would really, but then suddenly I felt more satisfied it didn’t -for now. Niall once again enveloped me inside his arms, molding me within him in second and just kissed me on my forehead.


I was never a believer of promise. They were always meant to be broken. Everyone I knew in my life proved that.


But with Niall, I did. For once in my life, I believed.  






Everything between Niall and Andie changed after that night. Every now and then, she would notice Niall’s little ways of affection towards her. It was like a breath of fresh air for everyone who’s seen them bicker and fight over and over again when Niall and Andie sat next to each other one morning and actually converse like two normal friends. Harry was a witness of Niall’s acts towards her, even believed something good finally did happen between the two. Only, there was still the doubt on her heart that it was love that Niall was trying to show.


Andie Tiu never ever knew what love is. Her family never showed any kind of love towards her, because everything’s always with a condition. It was hard to believe with something like love when she hardly even believes in herself. How does a person feel it? Do they need to have some kind of physical attraction to one another? Or do you just look at them and say that oh it is love they feel?


And that’s what makes it harder for a girl like Andie Tiu. She doesn’t know how to feel. She doesn’t have the slightest idea how to tell if she’s in love or not.


She thought her questions would end at with deciphering Niall’s action.


It didn’t. That was only the start of everything.


She wasn’t ready with the trouble associated with the name of Louis Tomlinson.





It was so nice to finally get a day-off. It felt like ages ago that I sat down and got myself a good book to read.


And just add that the weather in Paris looked like it’s about to rain made me feel happier. I’ve always loved the rain and being alone.


A hot cup of tea on top of the table, a blanket draped over my legs, I was ready to have my own quality lazy day.


As I was getting pumped up with chapter after chapter of my own copy of 50 Shades of Grey, I heard my door open and somebody came in.


“Andie? Are you here?”


I instantly recognized it to be Louis’ voice. I contemplated for a second if I should show myself since I was perfectly hidden on the upholstery I was sitting on, but then I saw his face hover on the top of my head. I would have smacked him. “Oh, there you are.” He said as he lowered himself and planted a kiss on my head. What’s with these boys and non-consented kissing? Did I even give them the permission they could kiss me?


“Why are you sulking here all alone and reading… 50 Shades of Grey?” he asked, his grin eating face was soon changed into a flirty smirk.


“This is a nice piece of literature.” I defended myself.




“Fuck off, Tomlinson.”


“No, seriously, why are you here all alone? It’s a nice day outside.”


I just shot him back with a frown as I pointed outside the window. “It’s about to rain.” I told him as a matter of fact.


“Well, Harry and Makie wanted to sneak out. They asked me to help them.”


“Not my problem then. And it’s my day-off.”


“Good! You can help me then! Let’s sneak off too!”


“I’d rather stay inside and be alone, thank you very much.”


Louis just pouted his lips and sat down at the armrest. “Come on! No one wants to play with me.”


I scoffed back, “What are you? A three year old?”


It was meant to be a joke, I was serious, but he laughed, so hard he even fell off.


I just shook my head, disbelieving how could a twenty-one year old who acts like a toddler was in the biggest boy band in the history of all boy bands. “Meanie,” he said as he pushed himself up then plopped his arms together over the couch’s armrest and rested his chin on them, looking with that intimidating bluish green eyes at me as he asked, “Have you ever played on the rain when you were a kid? Don’t you just miss it?”


“No. Actually, I never had the chance to experience that.”


“What? You poor little thing!”


I don’t understand why, but somehow he made me smile. “I spend my childhood life studying. By the age of four, I already knew how to recite the whole multiplication table. I never really had the chance to go and play outside.”


“But…you were so good in basketball.”


“It was an elective in high school I was forced to take. I kind of got the hang of it ever since, although, football’s really fun too. But that’s really it. I’m more of an indoor type of gal, really.”


“No wonder you sulk on you room and decline playing with me.”


“You won’t stop until I say yes, will you?”


Louis’ smirk was the only answer I needed. “Please?”


“But…what if they see us?”


“Then our mission is complete. Harry and Makie can then sneak out!”


“But it’s my day-off! And I just met Christian Grey!” I whined.


“Oh woman, I’m better than you S&M loving fictional character.”


“What the hell?”


Louis didn’t answer. He quickly pulled my hand and out of the room we suddenly were.


When we got to the ground floor, pelts of rain already started pouring. “Yeah, I’m not going out of that rain.” I declared.


But Louis was of course bigger and stronger than I was. Again, he pulled me on a run and off of the building we were.


“TOMLINSON! OH MY GOD! IT’S FUCKING COLD!” I screamed as we ran off to the deserted lot under the now heavy rain.


Louis ran around, waving his hands over his head like some crazy man he is, and I just stood not so far from him, getting wetter and wetter by the second, just watching him make a fool of himself.


Although, I must admit, he looked hot and sexy with his wet clothes sticking all over his body, giving me full body structure of how fit and buffed he is under those clothes. And my god, he’s got a really nice ass.


Wait what?


I did not just say that.


Louis looked over at me and saw me standing there. “Andie! Don’t you just love the rain?”


“F-Fuck, no. I-It’s f-fucking c-cold, Tomlinson!” my teeth started chattering. How stupid was I to actually gone off with this stupid boy. Stupid Andie. Stupid Louis. Stupid idea. Stupid rain. Stupid ass. Stupid everything.


Wearing a very thin shirt and a pair of legging, of course I got instantly cold. I just then hugged myself, but it didn’t help. It was supposed to be my lazy day, not some ‘The Notebook’ –esque day. I wasn’t supposed to be out and show everyone my lime green bra. Shoot.




Without even knowing it, Louis was suddenly there standing in front of me.


With all honesty, I felt him warm and there was nothing I want to do but to get closer.


I just stared at him as he shot me a question I’ve never been asked before. “Isn’t this just so cliché? A boy, a girl, under the rain, standing so close that they could kiss, isn’t that what most girls find romantic?”


He watched too much romance movies.


“Don’t generalize. Not every girl wants to kiss her man under the rain. I don’t find this very romantic.”


“Oh yeah, because you read 50 Shades of fucking Grey-”


“Don’t mock me, Louis.”


He just kept us there, with mere inches between us. His never ending grin finally faded, only to be replaced by a nice smile across his lips, “You called me Louis. Finally.”


What the fuck is this idiot talking about? Does the rain make people stupid? I don’t want to be stupid. I can’t be stupid.


“Can I tell you a secret?”


“If it’s something dirty about you and Harry, then please, don’t tell me. Spare me and my innocent mind.”


Louis just laughed. “So you’re still innocent?”


I left it unanswered.


Without again expecting it, he held me in the arms. How is it possible that he’s so freaking warm when I’m here slowly dying of Hypothermia?


“Well, I guess it’s not so much a secret anymore.” he murmured.


“Dude, it’s really not a secret. Your fans scream Team Larry-,”


“I like you, Andie.”


Now, this is fucking cliché.


I stood there, frozen –no pun intended- while Louis’ hand suddenly made its way and held me on my cheeks. I knew it was burning. It was the only part of my body that was hot and was blushing.


“I know you think I’m just messing with you, but believe me, I’m not. I’m getting all this sorts of feelings inside me that I cannot explain whenever you’re this close. You’re so beautiful, why don’t you believe me when I tell you really are? You try to shut yourself because you think you’re not, but oh God, I haven’t been so attracted to someone like you.” he told me.


I stared at him, so lost for words to what he just managed to confess.


“You’re just different from everybody else. Ever since you ran to me and asked for directions, I couldn’t take you off my head anymore. Then I was told you’re working for us made me feel happier that I’d get a chance to know the first girl I met who didn’t laugh at me. You’ve always called me a prick, but really, I was only asking for your attention. And now, look at where we. Honestly, I can’t explain it in words how I really feel now that you’re this near to me. How I’m just holding you here and I could try and,”


Louis didn’t continue what he was trying to say. Instead, he was leaning his face forward, just closer and closer until-


“Look! It’s Louis Tomlinson!”


“Oh my god! Who’s that girl?!”


 The next thing I know, Louis and I were running away from the lot. This time, it was me who pulled Louis away and we ran back to the hotel, hoping nobody took any pictures of that or even recognized me.


“Shit.” Louis and I said in unison once we were out of sight, perfectly hidden in the main lobby in where we both made a puddle of mess because both of us were slopping wet.


I felt the adrenaline rush through my veins with what happened. My heart won’t settle back to its normal beat rhythm. It was thumping too hard I felt like I could get any heart attack any minute.


Louis’ hand still intertwined with mine would be one of the reasons why this was happening to me.


I turned my head and try to look at him, only to find him already looking at me. “That was crazy.” I said.


“I’d give anything just so we could do that again.” he told me.


I would have said some sarcastic answer back to me, but I didn’t get to do at all. I just laughed at him,


It was because in the back of my head, I was somehow wishing to do the same.


We were only cut off from making a scene at the main lobby when we heard Paul’s booming voice shouted at us, “OI! What the hell are you two doing?!”



“This is your fault.” Louis accused.


“No, it’s not. The last time I check, you insisted that we play outside!” I defended myself.


“No. This has to be your fault. You make me stupid sometimes.” He again accused.


“Please, don’t blame me for your stupidity. You are stupid.” I told him back, smirking at how stupid this conversation was.


Who else fights but has smiles etched on their faces?


Why in the world am I confused with everything today?


“OI! OI!” Paul barged inside the room where Louis and I were basically put in lockdown after the whole ruckus in the parking lot and the hotel lobby. “You two stop that bickering and try not to kill yourselves, will yah? And just so you know, you’re being punished because it’s both your fault so shut it.”


Louis and I were quiet for a while, but it didn’t last that long. “It’s still your fault.”


The next thing I know, Louis has randomly brought a pillow and smacked me in the face. “What the-”


I retaliated and grabbed the nearest pillow within reach and smacked it in his face too. And so a pillow fight began. I haven’t had this much fun before, a one of a kind day-off this day turned out.


I was quick to grab on his pillow and pulled it away from attacking me, so to make it easier for me to just smack and have him beg for mercy. But Louis was quicker, and sly, and cunning. He dodged my shot and latched himself on top of me, crushed me underneath him with his weight and started tickling me in every weak point in my body.


In the end, it was me who was asking for his mercy. “Ahh! I give up! I give up! Louis! Stop it! Please, stop it!” I tried to scream while laughing so hard, I bet I looked ridiculous.


Thank god, he did, but only for me to find his and my position not very compromising at all.


Louis towered over me, his legs trapped my bottom on the bed while both of his hands on either side of my face as he hoisted himself, trying his best not to completely crush on to me. He was practically lying on top of me.


For the umpteenth time that day, I was lost for words. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t form witty comebacks in my head. I think I just lost sanity with the way Louis’ eyes bore right through mine.


It was Louis himself that made a move and saved me from full damnation.


“Let me show you how I really feel,”


As I was about to part my lips and try if I could even utter a word, Louis leaned down and all I know was that his lips were on top of my own.


I gasped at the sudden contact and my hands fell limp at either side. I was so shocked I even forgot to close my eyes – but when his hand claimed the back of my neck and his tongue darted out to touch my lip, I groaned and my eyes fluttered shut.


Everything happened so fast.


Through all the defenses I put for myself, I willingly let Louis break in me.


For the first time, literally my first time, I had let someone else hurt me, physically and emotionally.


But giving myself to Louis didn’t change anything about me.





Andie Tiu didn’t regret giving Louis her virginity because she doesn’t know what regretting ever felt like. It was a decision she made herself, and being someone like Andie Tiu, regretting was never an option in the end. All her life, her decisions either makes or breaks her. In this case, she was neither.


He’s seen her scars, had his cold fingertips trace each and every single one of it. Kissed that scar she’s hidden on her wrist as he break in her and be the first man to ever take her innocence, her body and her soul. But as Louis’ lips graze them, she couldn’t help but remember how Niall made her feel when he traced them himself. Louis was like the rain. His touch was cold, made her shiver and clam up, somehow even slightly ashamed he saw them. Niall’s were like fire, burning right through them, turning her back to life.


Niall and Louis, they were like fire and rain, they bring the best and worst out of her. Only Niall and Louis ever succeeded to.


When Harry found her the next morning, she could say he’s making her feel guilty. When he asked her if the reason why she gave Louis her innocence was because she loved him, Andie’s response was a laugh. It wasn’t because she was in love with him. Remember that she doesn’t know what love is. No one ever showed her that kind of affection Louis showed her the whole night. All she knows it wasn’t love.


If it was really more than just sex, it would have changed her. Nothing about that night did.


She’s not in love with Louis Tomlinson, a great disagreeing with her and Harry, because he was the only one who knows that what happened to her and Louis gravely changed his best friend’s mind. Andie didn’t know that herself, because she didn’t care at all, because she doesn’t want someone else –a friend she treated Harry- to tell her that she fucked up again.


Even before William Clark banished her off the tour, she has made up her mind. This life wasn’t for her either. She didn’t deserve the way they treated her, because she’d be a disaster in the making if she remained with them. She’s got no choice left, she has to leave.


She couldn’t hurt Harry’s feelings if Makie and Vanessa get cut off the tour. She couldn’t hurt Makie either, because Andie believes Harry makes her better. She didn’t want to hurt Louis and his feelings any further. He’d be expecting some feelings from her in return for everything that happened that night. Only, she couldn’t love him back. And even if she hates to admit it, she saw Niall that morning after –distraught and just sadden of what he witnessed everything in her eyes. He knows. Niall was the only one who could read her expression. He knows what she did by the way he locked eyes with her. Another emotional wreck he is, and it’s all because of her.


Niall was her very last reason on why she should leave them.





No matter where I go, I’ll take the memories with me.


I had everything ready. I was ready to leave this tour and let it sink in me that this was a once in a lifetime experience. Something that I’ll never forget, probably the only happy memory I have that I’ll take with me to the grave. If it wasn’t Makie’s request for me to stay after her act, I would be on my way to the airport, waiting for the flight to take me back home, back to my family, back to my reality.


Maybe Niall was wrong, Louis was too. Maybe I really wasn’t worthy of anything else.


I stood next to Makie behind the curtains, watching the boys of One Direction perform, the boys who showed me a one of a kind friendship, a kind of friendship I’ll truly miss, and I couldn’t even say goodbye to them.


“He wouldn’t want you to leave just like this.” I heard Makie said beside me. Wide eyes, I looked at her. “Now I got your attention, is there something you want to tell me?”


“How did you know I’m leaving?”


Makie stood closer to me and held me on the shoulder. Then she said, “Andie, I know you better than anyone else. We’re too much alike even if it’s really hard to admit. I know how you are inside even if you should be the one doing it to me. Plus, you’re asking the girl who’s kept secrets her life -a girl someone like you. Would you really think I wouldn’t see it if something’s bothering you?”


Everything Makie said managed to surprise me. Over the weeks that I took care and tried to analyze what’s going on with her, I didn’t expect that she’d do the same to me. She even compared me to be much just like her, but I wasn’t. Harry succeeded to show and make her feel love once again. After everything Niall and Louis managed to show and break through me, I still doubt.


I was cold. I was insensitive. I was still numb.


I have to leave them. I need to leave them before I do further damage.


My eyes darted back to the boys on the stage. Through all the shows I’ve seen, something about tonight seemed to be different.


Liam and Zayn were their usual self, unalarmed of how three of their mates seemed to be perturbed on the stage.  Harry kept gazing his eyes to us, trying to catch how Makie and I were doing. Louis was smiling to the crowd, but I knew when a person fakes them, and that’s what he’s showing their fans. Niall was on the opposite edge of the stage, lips moving to the words of the song –discomfort and just tensed.


“I’m broken, do you hear me?

I’m blinded, cause you are everything I see.

I’m dancing alone

I’m praying that your heart will just turn around.



And as I walk up to your door

My head turns to face the floor

Cause I can’t look you in the eyes and say,”


Once again, Makie broke in to my thoughts. “Andie, I asked you to stay because I’m helping a friend. Like how you helped Harry.” I heard her softly tell me. Makie’s arms tugged me on the arm and urged, “Just try and listen to him, maybe then you’ll get your answer.”


Though I was unsure of who Makie was talking about, I just let out a sigh and stepped back and just ran.



“When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won’t feel right

Cause I can’t love you more than this

When he lays you down I just might die inside

It just don’t feel right

Cause I can’t love you more than this

I can’t love you more than this”



The next thing I know, I was standing there with the sea of fans just below the stage. How I managed to get there, I didn’t know. But something inside me told me to just do it. Something inside me pushed me to see them, see if I could believe, and see if I could feel them through a song, maybe for just this last time.



The other boys didn’t seem to know, but even before Niall started singing his part, his eyes were then caught with mine. He was the first one to see me there, watching me watching them, watching him. Lost with why I was there, staring back at him. Confused with why my eyes were glistening with the tears slowly forming on them.



“If I’m louder

Would you see me?

Would you lay down in my arms and rescue me?

Cause we are the same

You save me but when you leave it’s gone again.”



Niall loved me. He did love me. And it pains me that I have to hurt this way just to feel and realize it.



I then felt the tears run down my cheeks. I can’t have him feel me this broken in front of him. But the tears kept flowing, making everything worse. I’m breaking him, turning him into this wreck he wasn’t supposed to be. What have I done to him? I don’t deserve someone like Niall. He didn’t deserve someone like me.



Louis came in to scene and was also surprised that I was there. His mouth slightly ajar, he stared at me with his eyes flickered with recognition.  I could feel him watch me, but he was too quick to realize that I was looking back at Niall, who was frozen in place, hands clenched tightly while his face was just sad as I was.



Right then, I knew what Louis felt as he sang through the lyrics.



“And then I see you on the street

In his arms, I get weak

My body fails I’m on my knees




When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won’t feel right

Cause I can’t love you more than this

When he lays you down I just might die inside

It just don’t feel right

Cause I can’t love you more than this

I can’t love you more than this”



Louis knew I couldn’t love him as much as he expected me to. I’m too damaged, something he never realized after all this time. He expected too much. Too much was never good.



Niall knew that in the end I wouldn’t feel worthy of everything he’s showed and promised me.



I can hurt myself, but I can’t ever hurt anyone of them. Even if I know that leaving them would hurt me too much, I’d rather feel this pain in me all by myself than see either Niall or Louis ache in the process, a narrow escape so to save them both from heartbreak and loss.



“I’ve never had the words to say

But now I’m asking you to stay

For a little while inside my arms

And as you close your eyes tonight

I pray that you will see the light

That’s shining from the stars, above

And I say,”



When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight

It just won’t feel right

Cause I can’t love you more than this

When he lays you down I just might die inside

It just don’t feel right

Cause I can’t love you more than this

I can’t love you more than this”


I’d break them if I insisted to stay. I’d hurt them if I choose to believe I could love them back, because one would end hurting and I’ll be blaming myself if that ever happens. None of them deserves me. I’ll never deserve them loving me back. They both deserve something more than this.


“I’m sorry,” I mouthed as I let the tears run down my face. Louis just shook his head, ran his fingers through his hair, suddenly feeling him panic, slowly trying to stretch out his hands like he could even reach me.


Niall just stood still. Not an emotion etched in his face. Color seemed to drain from his face as he glanced back. What have I really done?


“I’m sorry,” I tried to whisper again against the loudness of the crowd behind me as I finally managed to retrace my steps backward the screaming crown and turn away with much more than a broken heart inside.


Leaving them behind…honestly, I can’t take it, but I know it was the right thing to do.



End Notes:


First of all, to those who went on and read ‘Like Fire and Rain’, thank you very much. I’m sending each and every single one of you these virtual hugs and kisses with so much love from me, coming all the way from the Philippines. And I love you, like how I love my ninja slash leprechaun slash snowflake Niall.


If you’re somehow disappointed with the ending, I can’t blame you. Since the events that happened to Niall and Andie in chapter 24 is a cliffhanger, I’m leaving this one hanging too so I’ll have a reason to write beyond my usual limit and have you cursing me through your computer screens in the end. What can I do? I’m a biggie when it comes to cliffies? That’s probably one of the few things why you love and or even hate me as a writer. Plus this one’s already too long. Some readers must have dozed off and decided to not read any further. Not that I’m blaming them again. I’ve made warning in the author’s notes, right?


As I have told you in the last chapter, I was really working on Andie’s story, Like Fire and Rain. But writing Soul Siren’s already consuming much of my energy after work. I’d stretch my usual 2 hours per day with working for a chapter on it, I’d drain myself if I do add working on Like Fire and Rain. I want to, I really want to, but working with pregnant people isn’t that easy, really.


Okay, enough of this silly babble. Anyone want to discuss with me any question about Andie? Or Niall? Or Louis? Go shoot them away!


I’d really appreciate any form of feedbacks from you guys. Whenever I update, I like just stare at my screen and wait if someone did read the update and said anything. But I’ve been disappointed so many times. So please, don’t disappoint me tonight... please?



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