Sketch - A Comedy Sketch Show Script- Episode 1

Sketch show currently with these individual sketches:
Lady and the Tramp
God Complex
Foul Mouth
Sick Note
Aggroman
The Gangstaz
The Adventures of Granny Buggins
The Pretenders
Nerdy Neil (who’ll feature in a different sketch each week)
Each sketch will have it's own chapter so don't be put off by there being lots of chapters!!!

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1. THE ADVENTURES OF GRANNY BUGGINS

Scene opens: A long queue of traffic that extends for a long way and the sounds of car horns can be heard. Camera follow the queue to the front where Granny Buggins is in her Grannymobile (self-named, small car). The Choirboys are on full blast.

 

[Car parks. Granny B walks into pool area in full swimming costume runs and bombs in.]

 

Lifeguard:  No bombing!

 

Granny B: [nudges Mum] He’s a bit dishy isn’t ‘e! If I were 5 years younger…

 

Mum: You’d be 72!

Granny: [sighs] Those were the days… Handstand competition?

 

Mum: Me? I don’t want to get my hair wet. Go and find Lucy.

 

[Camera then goes to Lucy who is in her swimming lesson and happily doing backstroke. Jaws music plays as you see her legs kicking under water. Arms grab her legs and she screams but then is pulled under before anyone notices and is dragged away]

 

Granny: Handstand competition?

 

Lucy: You scared me to death! I’m in the middle of my swimming lesson!

 

Granny: Handstand competition?

 

Lucy: Fine. Quickly though.

 

Granny: Handstand elastic band who can stay the longest…. GO!!

 

[Granny does handstand kicks her legs into the air and then falls over. Lucy’s gone. Granny spots other women of her age. Camera shows them walking along the pool floor and then goes up to show them pretending to swim with their arms]

 

Granny: Handstand competition?

 

Woman 1: We’re far too busy doing lengths.

 

Woman 2: Training for our charity swim for some poor children somewhere.

 

Granny: Fine I’ll race you to the end of the pool then.

 

[Women sigh]

 

Woman 1: Okay then.

 

[The women start doing their pretend swimming and Granny Buggins with a unique stroke she invented cannot keep up. She glares at them walking and then gets up, out of the pool, runs to the other end and jumps in in front of the women]

 

Lifeguard: No running!

 

Woman 1: That’s cheating.

 

Granny: It’s not. I was walking, just like you.

 

[They start arguing at the same time this continues and escalates until the handsome lifeguard comes over]

 

Lifeguard: Ladies break it up!

 

Granny: Make me!

 

[Lifeguard jumps in and drags her away]

 

Granny: [to camera] Now this is more like it.

 

[Screen fades and reopens with Lifeguard and Granny both in water]

 

Granny: Handstand competition?

 

Lifeguard: Ok.

 

Both: Handstand elastic band who can stay the longest… go!

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