The Girl Next Door

Mia has just moved into a new apartment in London and her neighbor happens to be Liam Payne. She thinks she has fallen for his friend Niall, until Liam gets involved and things get complicated.
Niall or Liam? Niall or Liam?
Will she end up with one of them or none?
Will she be able to escape her past and have a chance at romance?
Or will she stay 'just The Girl Next Door...

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41. Sudden realization.

Mia's P.O.V

I tell Zayn everything, the dream, the fight, the kiss, I didn't leave out any small details, I even told him how I felt at each exact moment that these events happened. I had finally made myself vulnerable and opened up.

And it was alright. 

Zayn nodded as I talked and didn't interrupt. I could tell he was thinking about the situation from his facial expression but he waited until I had finished before offering his advice. 

When I had exhausted myself my telling him the very strange events that had happened to me in the last 24 hours, I asked him, "Now what do I do?" 

And then he did the one thing that pisses me off probably more than anything else.

He answered my question with a question.

"What do you think you should do?" 

I'll admit that, as child pyscologist I do that a lot. Answer a question with a question I mean. You see, the idea is to get the child thinking about the situation and coming up with a solution that in most cases is quite obvious. But you have to let the kid figure it out themselves, otherwise they won't be doing it because they know it's the right thing, but they'll be doing it because you told them to.

I sigh at his response and a number of sarcastic remarks immediately come to my head, but I don't say any of them, instead I say;

"I know what I should do. I just can't bring myself to do it."

As soon as the words escape my mouth, I knew they were true. 

I knew exactly what I should do and it should be quite simple; Tell Niall everything. Everything about my past, everything I had just told Zayn, everything. 

But there's no way I could do it. 

I was to stubborn and to proud to admit that he was right, that I had put a wall up, an emotional barrier to stop everyone from getting close to me. And for a long time I thought that it was the right thing to do, and that it would save me a lot of pain. But it didn't. All it had done was prolong the pain. 

I had never had any closure. I had never wallowed in despair. Whenever something knocked me down, I bounced back up again and pretended it had never happened. 

And by having that sort of attitude, and by never letting myself get attached to anything because of fear that it would disappear, like it once had, had prevented me from being able to do the one thing that everyone else can:

It prevented me to Love. 

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