The Girl Next Door

Mia has just moved into a new apartment in London and her neighbor happens to be Liam Payne. She thinks she has fallen for his friend Niall, until Liam gets involved and things get complicated.
Niall or Liam? Niall or Liam?
Will she end up with one of them or none?
Will she be able to escape her past and have a chance at romance?
Or will she stay 'just The Girl Next Door...

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43. Confessions and frustration.

Mia's P.O.V 

I open the door abruptly, walking in on a startled Niall. He lifts his head, looking straight at me, surprised.

"Mia I-" He starts to say, but I cut him off.

"Don't talk. Just listen." I say to him, closing the door behind me and walking over to sit down next to him. 

He looks horrible and as I sit down the adrenaline from before disappears and is replaced with guilt. I look at his tear stained cheeks and wipe them away before kissing him passionately. He seems surprised but eventually he kisses back but I pull away, remembering what I was meant to be doing. 

 "What was-" He starts to say, but then stops.  

"What you said before, when you said you-" I start to say, hesitating on the next word, "Loved me." I finished. 

"Yeah.." He trails off. 

"Did you mean it?" I ask him, slightly worried about the answer. 

"Of course." He says and my cheeks turn pink. 

"Ok well hold that thought." I tell him. 

"What, I-" He starts to say, confused but I cut him off with a kiss. 

"Just remember that ok? Just remember that you love me." I say after I pull away and he nods in reply. 

"Ok. First of all you were right." I tells him, "You were right, I did put up an emotional wall and I was pushing you away and I'm so sorry and I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did but there is a reason why I'm like that and haven't been completely honest with you about it."

And then I let my guard down and told him everything. 

I started with Ella and the tattoos and then Jake and then my parents and then the club and then the dream and then my shock of when he told me he loved me and then Liam kissing me and then talking to Zayn and then a long string of apologies. 

He sat and listened and when I was finished I said;

"Again, I'm so so sorry and I know this is a lot to take in and I completely understand if hate me and you never want to see me again and if you think I'm a horrible person because honestly, I think I'm a horrible person."

He sits quietly for a few minutes so I ask him, "Niall, please say something." 

"It's a lot to take in." He tells me. 

"I know."

"But I don't hate you and I do want to see you again."

"In a body bag?" I ask, attempting light humor to make this conversation a little less awkward. 

He laughs, "No. Not in a body bag."

"Good." I say, breaking into a smile. 

"Mia, I love you." He says again, "And I'm no psychologist but based on what you just told me I'm gonna guess that you feel like being happy is selfish. But you should know that Happiness is not a selfish action. You shouldn't punish yourself for being happy because you deserve to be. you deserve to be happy whatever that means, with whoever that means. But don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want." He tells me. 

I listen to what he's saying and realize that he's right. I can't find the words to tell him that I understand but I nod. 

"I think we need some time apart." Were the next words to come out of his mouth as he stands up.

"What?" I say, completely shocked. 

"I think that we both need some space. I need time to absorb all of that and you need time to figure out what you want. I'm not mad at you but I need you to make a decision, do you want to be with me or do you want to be with Liam. Because I don't think I can handle much more of this crap." He says, storming out of my apartment. 

I'm left speechless. 

I know he was right. 

I know it. 

But it still hurt. 

Niall's P.O.V 

I storm out of her apartment, frustrated.

I was grateful that she had finally opened up and told me the truth and I know it must have been hard for her. I get that. 

But out of that whole speech, not once did she say that she loved me. 

So now I've said it 3 times in the past 24 hours and she's said it 0. 

All I wanted was the "I love you" return.

And now I may never get it.    

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