There, in the Shadow of a Snow Angel

Agoraphobic and alone, Grace Bell is too scared to change her life for the better. That is, until she meets the gallant and dashing Henry Beaufort who is determined to save her. But can he save her from herself?

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5. Mine

Four days had passed, and I still hadn’t heard from her.

 

I had pitched a lot of my hopes on that feeling I’d gotten that first day. For me instinct, gut-feeling, intuition, or whatever you want to call it, was everything; my whole life had been built that way. There were one too many variables in the world, and I certainly didn’t like knowing that. As a result I had put all of my trust in myself, and by extension all control, so that if anything went wrong I knew why and the reasons weren’t out of my hands. And even though I was acting on instinct and I’d made all the moves, this felt different; like she was pulling the strings, not me. I’d put my heart in her hands. Consequently, after leaving her the letter I had felt extremely vulnerable. I’d put myself out there and, for all of my apparent confidence, I wasn’t even really that sure she felt the same way about me. However, I was beginning to highly doubt it and this made me feel very uneasy because, for once, it felt like my intuition had been completely wrong.  Maybe I had misread the situation?

 

By the time I had walked the 7 doors from her house to mine that morning, I had decided that I was going to make her my top priority. I had made sure that all my plans for the week were cancelled and had strategically positioned myself by the living room window. This had given me an optimal view of the crescent in which I lived; although I couldn’t see her house, I could see all movement in and out of the close. I kept the phone close by and I settled in, waiting and watching. I had abandoned all of my other responsibilities for the time being. I had barely eaten and I hadn’t slept. In fact, I had focused on little else; praying, eager, to catch a small glimpse of her enticing silhouette or to hear the silky smooth voice that oozed like honey from her lips.

 

But that was four days ago, and I still had seen neither head nor tail of her. She hadn’t called and I hadn’t moved. Was she avoiding me? I could see no other explanation.

 

I was feeling rejected, to say the least. Yet for some strange reason this only made me want her more. No girl had ever done this to me before. If I wanted a girl, I always got her. Love had never been a challenge but now, for the first time in my life, it was. She was challenging me. She was already holding my heart, and now she was starting to play with it. Did she know how insecure and unsure she was making me feel? Hell, was she even aware of what she was doing? Surely she had to know that she had me so willingly captivated and in her complete control?

 

And that’s when I decided to leave my seat at the window and try a new approach. I didn’t want to just wait anymore and hope that she would act. I needed to be the one to act. I knew that now, and I was going to do everything in my power to make her want me back. I had to make her mine.

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