Back To December

I regret it. I wish I could go back, but I can't. This is me swallowing my pride, saying I'm sorry for that night.

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I got out of bed, I didn't sleep at all last night. I can't remove the memory of me leaving him. I wish I could go back to December and change my mind, but I can't. It all started when the cold came with the dark days and fear crept into my mind, he gave me all his love and all I gave him was goodbye. When his birthday passed I didn't call, I didn't even leave a message.

I always think about the summer and all of the beautiful times, watching him laughing in the car. I knew I loved him in the fall. 

My phone beeped and I looked at the screen. 

Hi, Melanie, do you want to meet up today? At the park? Will. 

I quickly replied: 

Sure. 

We then agreed to meet up at ten, I had three hours to get ready. It took me three hours to get ready, and I then ran to the park where we used to sit, I remember that September night when he held me in his arms. That was the first time he ever saw me cry. I saw him sitting on that exact bench and I sat down next to him. 

"Hey." He said. I looked into his eyes and he smiled that sweet smile he always smiled. 

"Hey. I'm so glad you made time to see me, how's life? How's your family? I haven't seen them in a while." I gushed, then immediately regretted my words. 

"Life is fine, they're fine too, you?" He replied. 

"Same." I mumbled. 

We small talked, work and the weather. I could see his guard was up and I know why, because the last time he saw me is still burned in the back of his mind. I remember the roses he gave me, I carelessly left them there to die. 

I swallowed my pride and apologised "I'm sorry for that night." 

"It's too late to apologise now, Mel." He replied bitterly. He then looked forward. 

"I'm sorry, it turns out freedom isn't nothing but missing you and wishing I'd realised what I had when you were mine. I go back to December all the time." I said, fighting back tears. I wanted everything to be OK again. "If we loved again I swear I would love you right, but if the chain is on your door I understand. I just wish I could go back in time and change everything. I'm sorry." And Will just sat there in silence. 

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