This is me

its about a girl who was scared until she met one particular guy and he changed her life forever


11. what have i done??

Niall POV

I screwed up I know but it’s not like me and Paige were a couple or anything, I didn’t have feelings for her I swear it’s an overreaction. This person is the most amazing person I have met in the whole entire world and no I’m not over exaggerating I promise, you have to meet her one day. She was asleep the most amazing person in the world asleep on my chest so so lucky!

 With that I tried to go to sleep with the boys all around me snoring their heads off I mean yea I have stayed with them but wow they were loud, with that I ended up after maybe kicking Zayn or maybe even Louis in the ribs for being too loud and I just ran around the house screaming well I mean it was only 12:30pm for crying out loud

“get up”

I screamed as I ran around the house I jumped onto Zayn and he rolled over which left me lying on top of Liam and Liam moved I was on top of Louis and Louis moved and I was on the floor with a pair of feet next to me oh no this can’t be good…

Ali’s POV

 I woke up to Niall running around screaming at the top of his lungs, first it was

“I’m hungry”

Repeated a thousand times followed by

“get up”

Oh I’m going to kill our little Irishman. I went down stairs to see him jump onto Zayn and he rolled onto Liam then Louis and finally he landed at my feet. Haha I can have fun with this I quickly got rid of my smile and looked at him sternly he finally looked up scared

“Now mister why would you do such a thing?”

“I i-i- bbb”

I just burst out laughing and so did Sky who was on the couch

“your so mean”

He said as he picked himself up off the floor and stood in front of me I just said

“come on my Irishman let’s make you not hungry”

“YAY” he shouted.

I have never seen anyone so excited over food haha. I hear a husky voice behind me

“I thought you were going to kill him?”

“Harry you just ruined it” I whined

“sorry love” he giggled.

“Make it up to me later” I said with a wink.

He just chuckled and kissed me I heard Niall say

“eww get a room”

before he ran out of the room I was in the mood to be cheeky

“well we are in a room ok?”

“Smart ass” he called.

I just walked into the kitchen and make everyone cheese toasted sandwiches, Niall ate like 8 of them after that I just done the dishes while everyone else was in the lounge room watching Max Schneider clips on YouTube on my T.V. I was quietly humming to myself when I remembered that Paige didn’t come down to eat. Strange, I went upstairs to check on her when I walked into Ash’s room I just seen her curled up on the bed fast asleep, ok that’s good I guess. I went back into the kitchen and was finishing tidying up when Niall walked in,

“hey can I talk to you?” he asked

“sure Niall you know anytime you can ok, what’s up?”

“Well tomorrow me and Paige are flying back to her hometown to pick up one of her friends and well one of my childhood friends, her name is Dino and I was just wondering if it is ok for her to stay here?”

“Niall I don’t know oh and while I have you here what happened earlier I heard Paige scream why so why did she scream why?”

“Well Sky went to kiss me and-“

“Niall what? You almost kissed my best friend?” I asked while high fiving him.

“Yea but like I don’t know what to do about it because Paige seems to think that I like her when I don’t”

“thanks for clearing that up Niall” I heard Paige say as she is walking back upstairs. Great. He ran after her and she just said

“I get it”


”No Niall no.” she just hugged him and thanked him for being honest.


She went back to bed as Niall said

“were still getting Dino tomorrow.”


is all I heard before a door closes and a squeak of a bed frame when someone lays on it. I just walk out into the lounge room not caring anymore I just flop down on top of Harry and he held me tight Zayn said

“someone is in a good mood”

I just “don’t wanna know” and rolled of Harry onto Zayn’s lap and gave him a hug.

“so you don’t want me anymore, I see how it is” Harry said pretending to be mad.

 I just hopped up walked to him sat on his lap and started crying, I don’t know I just cried.

“Wow love what’s the matter? Harry what did you do?”

“nothing” he said while tightening his grip on me I felt Liam, Louis and Zayn move in for a big hug and I just cried harder.

 I can’t explain it I just cried and the tears didn’t stop Harry sat there and then all of a sudden Harry stands up with me bridal style hands me to Zayn while saying

“don’t hurt her”

and he walked up the stairs I heard him do it more than seen him do it, I just cried into Zayn’s chest and that’s when he asked

“what’s wrong?”

 “I I I I ddo-“ and he cut me off by saying

“don’t worry its ok” I sat there crying for another 5 minutes before I looked at Zayn and asked

“where is Harry”

“I don’t know he is upstairs he can’t stand to see you hurt and not know why”

“no-one has and will ever care about me that much”

 “don’t say that ever” it was Harry.

I got off Zayn after kissing him on the cheek and walking upstairs, Harry followed I went and locked myself in the bathroom while Harry sat at the door singing Little Things. I just cried harder,

“Love please open up”

“Harry give me half an hour I’m going to take a shower”

“ok love” he said and he walked away I got up unlocked the door and went and locked my bedroom door.

I went back into the bathroom and grabbed my best friend, my blade, oh surprise I’m a cutter I just can’t help it whenever I cry I cut whenever I’m mad I cut a bit deep it doesn’t hurt it helps.

This time I cut my wrists and my thighs I hopped into the shower and I got out I dried my hair put it in a bun and put on track pants and a baggy jumper that covers me up.

After walking down stairs I see that it’s just, Niall, Sky, Zayn and probably Paige

“where are the rest of the boys?” I ask.

Zayn says,

 “Liam and Louis went for showers and stuff and Harry went for a drive I dunno where he just said I’ll be back while grabbing his keys as he was leaving why?”

“I was just wondering that’s all”

“ok, oh and Ali?”


“can I talk to you”

“sure” I said as I walked into the kitchen.

 Zayn called my name I just kept walking he called my name again, again I just ignored him, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me around to face him I winced in pain, he looked at my face then at my wrist, face, wrist

“Ali why?” he asked while pulling my sleeve up

As he did a small tear dropped from his eye and of course perfect timing Harry walks in and looks at my wrist to Zayn and to me at this tears were streaming down his face

“what have I done?”

“Harry it wasn’t you I swear”

“no I wasn’t there I left you when you were asking for my help I left it’s my fault”

“Harry it isn’t I’m the one who picked the blade up and done this not you so stop now!” I said sternly he just cried I walked over to him and kissed his cheek and hugged him.

 Zayn stood there for a while and then he walked over to Harry pulled us both into a hug and said,

“it’s all going to be ok”

just then the rest of the boys walked in thanks, for knocking are well,

“hey where are-“

Louis stared but he just looked at our group hug and I didn’t put my sleeve down god damn you Zayn “oh Ali” he said while walking over I pulled my sleeve down and ran upstairs after telling the boys where the rooms are that they are welcome to stay in- any but mine. I walked in to my room I felt trapped so I took my track pants off and put on comfy shorts and my tank top, I crawled into bed and stayed there before I came to lay down I told the boys to help themselves to any food that they wanted yay food shopping tomorrow thanks Niall I was drifting off to sleep when I heard a knock on my door “mmm” I said Harry came in and sat next to me, “You can lay down if you want” so we laid in silence I cuddled up to him he had an arm around me and another was by on his stomach I held it with one hand and I sat our hands on the bed between us and then I moved my hand by accident (I get these kinda hand jerks) and his hand touched my thigh “Ali?” “Mmhh?” “Why are there cuts on your thighs?” “Can we not talk about it now?” “No please Ali talk to me” so I did I told him about Niall coming to me and how I get stressed easy and stress well leads to me cutting. He then asked me wwhat I didn’t want to talk about he asked me about my parents I just said as calm as possible “Harry that is a touchy subject just not tonight” “ok love another time goodnight princess” “Night my Prince” “Ali I love you” “iii I love you to” that night I went to sleep feeling loved but feeling like a part of me was missing but what? a/n guys I’m sorry that I haven’t updated but I have had to look after my little sister so I couldn’t update I am back at school for the rest of the week so I should be able to update more xx bri bri

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