Before I Fall

Allie Payne is Liam Payne's little sister. Liam had always been her rock, the person she always went to when she was feeling down. Her heart had been broken so many times that she was convinced she would never fall in love again. When her parents force her to go live with Liam and the rest of his bandmates what will happen when Allie becomes close with one of the boys? Will she fall for them?


17. Drowning Out The Pain

-Allie's POV-


I clutched the ends of my sweatshirt sleeves as I slowly made my way downstairs. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night because of the devious flashbacks that continued to run through my mind like a broken record. My feet slowly shuffled across the cold wood floor and soon I found myself walking into the kitchen. I didn't say a word as I walked to the refrigerator, no doubt the other eyes in the room were on me. I acted as if I didn't notice. I grabbed a carton of raspberries from the fridge and took it over to the counter. I stood there, now facing the table where Liam, Louis and Harry sat. Louis and Harry were having their own conversation but Liam would occasionally glance up from his phone to look at me. I only stood there.


"Allie?" Liam asked finally, breaking the silence.


I looked up at him quickly before looking down at the berries in front of me.


"Are you okay after what happened yesterday?" He asked.


I shrugged. "Yeah. I'm fine."


He narrowed his eyes at me. "You're not. I can see it."


"Then why'd you ask if you already knew?" I asked him.


"Allie we just care about you. Stay away from guys like Luke. Please." Louis said, sounding sincere.


"Too late." I muttered under my breath, stealing a glance at Harry.


"What?" Liam asked.


"Nothing." I sighed, taking the now empty berry carton and throwing it away.


"Are you ever going to tell me whats wrong or am I going to have to find out on my own?" Liam asked seriously.


I looked at him. "Nothings wrong Liam. You're just delusional."


I walked out of the kitchen and strutted upstairs. As soon as I was in my bathroom I stripped out of my clothes and glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror. The small red marks were clearly shown on my wrist. I shuttered just at the though of the reasoning behind them. I turned away from the mirror and turned on the water in the bathtub. I watched closely as water began to fill the tub. Once it was filled to the top I stepped in. For a while I just sat there, thoughts rushing through my mind. I couldn't help but ask myself, where did it all go wrong? What was the turning point. I remember when I arrived here, broken empty. And then suddenly I was changed. My view of things, my personality. I was happy. And then it all disappeared. It was gone. The happiness. The smiles. The jokes. The laughs. Just gone in an instant. And Harry and I? We went from being inseparable to unable to stand the thought of each other. I let out a sigh. I could hear the muffled shouts from downstairs, I soon declared the voices to be Harry and Liam's. Who knows what they're arguing about now.


I took a deep breath and slowly let myself sink deeper and deeper into the water. Soon my entire body was beneath the water and for once, it was all silent. No shouts. No screams. No moans coming from another room. No insults being thrown around. Nothing. For once it was completely silent. It was peaceful. Slowly I resurfaced and I caught my breath. Once again the sounds of muffled shouts filled my ears and I only sat there. I let out slow, deep breaths as the steam rose around me. Finally I stood up and grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around my body. I drained the tub and walked out into my room. As soon as I was dressed I slipped on my white Converse and walked over to the full length mirror in my room. Again my eyes fell to the fresh cuts on my forearm and I shuttered. I walked back into my bathroom and quickly did some light makeup. I spread makeup over the cuts so that they were no longer visible. Finally once I was satisfied I made my way out of my room, the shouts getting louder and louder with each step.


"I don't give a fuck Harry! You know how sensitive she is right now!" Liam yelled.


"Really? Is that what you think?! That she's being sensitive?!" Harry bellowed, his voice echoing through the house. "She's being a fucking attention whore! She wants people to feel sorry for her!"


"You have no fucking idea what she's going through!" Liam yelled.


"Oh really?! Just because you're her brother doesn't automatically make you able to see right through her." Harry spat.


"No? But I know her past. I know what she's been through. I've seen her come home in tears. I'm the only one she trusts." He bellowed.


"Fuck Liam! None of that matters. The point is she's a fucking slut who constantly acts like an attention whore!" Harry yelled.


"You do realize thats my sister you're talking about." Liam hissed harshly.


"Yeah. Does it look like I give a fuck? Its not my problem that you can't handle the truth." He shouted.


"But it is your problem when you constantly insult my little sister right in front of me." Liam spat.


"What I say is the truth." Harry told him coldly.


"Really? You think that my sister is a slut? That she's a whore? Is that what you think? Thats so far from the truth. Sure, she may have an attitude right now but you're no better." Liam spat.


It was silent for a moment.


"I'm done here." Harry hissed.


The whole time I'd had my back against the wall, listening to their shouts and yells in the room beside me. I watched as Harry exited the room, walking right past me. He walked over to the front door, walked out and slammed the door behind him. Slowly I eased away from the wall and lumbered into the living room. Liam stood there, his eyes closed, his head in his hands. Without any words spoken I wrapped my arms around him and he immediately hugged my back.


"You heard the whole thing?" He whispered.


"Enough to know that he's a complete asshole." I whispered.


He only hugged me tighter. For a while we only stood there in the comfort of each other's arms.


"Hey Allie?" He whispered finally.


I didn't respond.


"Don't ever listen to what people like him say. You're an amazing person. Don't let them bring you down. Don't let them get the best of you." He whispered.


I slowly nodded into his shoulder. I stayed silent for a while.


"Thank you." I finally spoke. "For being there when no one else was. For standing up for me."


"Allie, you're my little sister. No matter how many times you try and push me away, I'll always bounce back." He told me softly.


"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. My attitude. My mistakes. My stupid decisions."


Liam pulled away and held me by my shoulders. "We're only human. We can't be perfect. We wouldn't be living our life to the fullest without flaws." He told me.


"Because flaws are what makes us human." I sighed.


He nodded. "Now lets forget about what Harry said. He's not worth our anger or anything."


I nodded slowly. Liam's eyes were still set on me, glancing at me nervously.


"Are you okay? Because I can see it in your eyes that you're not." He sighed.


I shrugged. "Well I can only be so okay when someone I used to call my best friend called me a whore and a slut."


"Don't listen to him. He's wrong." Liam told me.


I sighed. "Enough about him."


"Whats all the yelling?" Louis asked, walking into the room.


"Harry." Liam muttered.


"What'd he do this time?" He sighed.


"Lots of stuff." I told him, sighing.


I wonder where he is, the Harry I met when I first arrived. Where did he go? Because honestly, this new Harry sucks.

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