Afraid of Falling

"Just promise me one thing Styles"
"Anything just please give me the chance to prove myself" He practically begged me.
"Just don't fuck me over. Please! That's the last thing I need right now and I can't go through what I've gone through with every relationship I have ever had with anybody, again."
"Promise. Cross my heart hope to die" He smiled down at me. I lifted me head up so I was finally looking him in the eye. His gorgeous sparkling emerald eyes that left me weak in the knees. I gave him a weak smile and nuzzled my head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me in a protective manner.
All I could think was how perfect he was. How charming he is. How funny, talented, good looking he is. The first guy to get me to admit my feelings. But also how there has to be a reason I have been protecting myself for so long. There has to be a reason relationships hardly ever work out. A reason why the divorce rate is going up. A reason why I am afraid to fall.

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4. Sleepy Thoughts

The whole way home the image of his gorgeous sympathetic face burned in my mind. I kept thinking up scenarios of him actually talking to me and offering me a ride home, but i knew that would never ever happen. Like he would ever talk to some stupid girl like me.

I quietly walked in  my front door and ran up to my room before either of my parents could see i was home. Facing them is the last thing i want to do. When i reached my room i found my little sister sitting at her desk already working on her homework. My parents treated her better then they treated me but it was still bad. 

"God Mikki why are you so late?! You're lucky dad isn't home or else you'd get it tonight" She whisper yelled at me.

"Well hello to you too Maddie. I met Rocky in the field after school. Now if you'll excuse me i have an essay i have to do" I gave her a smile and she smiled back before returning to her work. I sat down at my desk and got straight to work.

 

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I finally finished the essay. After 4 hours of typing it felt like my fingers were bleeding. I saved my work on my computer and closed it. I walked over to my old dresser and pulled out some shorts and a tank top along with a sports bra. I brought it to the bathroom with me and set it on the counter. I turned on the shower and let it warm while i striped from my day clothes. I stepped into the warm steamy shower and thoughts swarmed in my mind. Mostly thoughts of Harry. The way he looked at me when he drove by. Why would he feel sympathy for me? He probably doesnt even know my name.

I kept thinking of him as i turned the water off and got dressed in my pajamas. i looked into the mirror in front of me and examined myself. Picking out all my flaws and imperfections. I assume these things are the only things people notice about me. I mean my flaws are the only things that my parents notice about me so why would anyone else think different?

I brushed my long blonde hair so it returned to its natural part above my left eye. I sighed once more as i took a final look at myself in the mirror and turned to walk out of the bathroom shutting the light off on my way out.

I returned to my bedroom and crawled into my unmade bed. I curled up in a ball and looked at Maddie already asleep in a bed across from me. She was my life and i loved her more than anything in the world. I smiled to myself and turned of my bedside lamp. Thoughts of Harry crept into my mind like they always do at night as i drifted off to sleep.

 

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