Purgatory

After being frozen for a millennium, Avanna Myles awakes to a new age of Earth. She is in a time of plastic beauty, of advanced technology, and of life easily bought. But her newfound life is not a blessing, but rather a curse. Her past visits her in her wake, when she closes her eyes, and it takes all of her strength to ignore it. She is a slave to the government and its people, and every time she escapes them, she reawakens in the arms of authority. When she finds her reason to live, it lies too far away for her to reach. But her hope is strong. Unadjusted to the new life ahead of her, she needs to learn to adapt to the new rules of the society, or else her heart will stop. For good.
(Currently in the process of being re-written.)

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1. Introduction.

I listen and hear the call of the wind, trying to learn its unfamiliar tongue for hours and hours on end. A pale orb hangs in the sky, casting a dim glow in this timeless world. It is always just before dusk, and I can barely glimpse a ray of blue at the end of the dark horizon. And it always stays as such, forever tempting my eyes for that magnificent sunset to cast blazing light upon this world. I am not alive, nor am I without life. I am a soul, forever banished to spend time wasting away. It is neither Heaven nor Hell. It is Purgatory.

 

Here, we are slaves to our last memories. My mind replays my last minutes, my last thoughts, my last breaths:

 

I gazed into his eyes that were the light blue of summer skies, promising and warm. His hand grasped mine, and his thumb reassuringly rubbed my hand. He felt safe, familiar, and an intangible something I had yet to discern in my life. I leaned forward but held his gaze. His lips twitched up in a cute, almost shy smile. I wrapped my arms around his neck. We were so close, I could feel the heat coming off his face. I felt his hand on my cheek. I felt his lips press against mine, and I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. Pure heat poured down my neck and across my chest, spreading like wild fire. Time slowed down and it was just us, and I almost forgot why I was there. I didn’t want to think about it. I just plunged it into his backside. And it was silent. No spit of a bullet. No gnarled cry of strangulation. Just the tearing of fabric as the knife drove through his shirt. My hand grasped the hilt, and I felt warm blood splatter on my hands. I suddenly let go of the blade. I paused and put my hand against his chest, gently pushing him away, because I was crying hysterically and I don’t want him to see the tears in my eyes. I didn’t want to look into his blue eyes again, to acknowledge the great and terrible deed I had committed. I didn’t want to accept it. I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I couldn’t.

 

They say you always have a choice. And I did at that point. At the point where I had kissed the man I wanted to marry for the last time, before I ended his life, I had a choice to end it faster by pulling the blade out. But I also had a choice to join him in the damned hell that we both belonged in. So I did both, and leaned into him and drew the blade out of between his shoulder blades. I pressed the scarlet tip against my own chest. I took my last glance into his eyes and saw his pain, because his eyes were no longer warm summer but cold winter. And that was all I needed. I took the steel and plunged it into my chest.

 

I am forced to relive this great and terrible moment. I feel the sudden sharp pain of death, and then the warmth of his hand in mine. Each time, I think that maybe it will change. Maybe I can change this terrible fate. Maybe I can change. Something. But I am helpless and weak. It plays out and plays out and plays out, until the sharp pain in my chest never ceases to fade.

 

It is at my lowest moment, when I give up hope and the darkness seems to diminish the only light left that it all suddenly changes. I feel a strong pressure on my chest, and suddenly the sun begins to rise at the long horizon. My knees begin to tremble as the ground shakes heavily beneath them. The replays pause and light suddenly fills the air. Fire flashes through the sky, igniting a torch inside my chest. The dagger of pain burns through my chest for the last time as I watch the first and only sunset of Purgatory. 

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